thelovelyy97

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

Today, I realized that the only woman who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML