Whenbearsregin

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

Today, I realised I know the map on World of Warcraft better than the map of my own country. FML

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML