Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML
Teh_dw33bin4tor tells us more.
Hey, I am kind of astounded this made the front page, but I also realized that I wasn't logged in when I created and submitted this. I'm the OP. I should have phrased this better, but I was running out of room to create the FML. The actual story is that she flat-out broke up with me, and then went around and told all my friends, which happen to also be her friends too, that it was a mutual break-up, but it was my decision for the most part that split us apart, which effectively framed me as the "bad-guy". When I confronted her on it, she first denied telling her (our) friends this, then changed her story to "she couldn't think of what to say". All this while her new "boyfriend" (of 1 day) was helping her move out of my apartment. Sorry for the confusion in the phrasing.
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Don't forget to remind her of the $50,000 that she promised to give you at the end of that conversation. If she gets to make shit up, so do you.
Michyxo 14
Well, I guess at least now you won't have to be part of any more delusional conversations with her...
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Comments (108)
rattusrattus 19
Maybe you were sleep-talking? ... In that case, you're better off without her. Who the heck takes sleep-talking seriously?
DocBastard 40
Don't forget to remind her of the $50,000 that she promised to give you at the end of that conversation. If she gets to make shit up, so do you.
The_Troller 14
What about the "goodbye quickie" part?
MidnaLink 35
after that? are you nuts???
Nekogami 14
I think he's trying TO nut .. Hence the goodbye quickie. ;). Ps doc. Clever man. If only we all had such delightfully assholish wit as you do.
LMA0 5
84- lol what? Assholish? Is that like shoe polish for your ass?
A100893 30
Bitches be crazy?
br0ccoli 15
She actually thought you were her 'other' boyfriend.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
bro be happy she did that cause if she's that delusional then its best for you cause she is crazy :O
loserman67 36
On the positive side, you got rid of Sybil..... On the negative side, if you had stayed with her you could have banged a different chick every night...
marscm55 11
My ex pulled the same card. Pathetic people, they just don't want to be the one who got dumped
Meme1988 18
Wow, say "sorry i didnt hear you, i was talking to my other girlfriend, she is way more awesome than you"
tennisrapper1 14
Well, at least you're out of it before she becomes a delusional, psycho bitch...
l0v3p4in 7
OP , by any chance were you drunk last night? Your girlfriend's just reminding you of the consequences of getting wasted to the point of amnesic alcoholic syndrome.