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Wrong place, wrong time

By KD - 19/01/2026 03:00

Today, at work, I had an accident and cracked a rib. I got taken to hospital where I got checked over. The doctor said it was a good job I hadn't got a chest infection nor a cold. Funny you should say that doc, I have both. She replied, "Well, that's bad…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 81

Always prepared

By Anonymous - 23/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was going to have my first overnight with the guy I’ve been seeing. Upon learning I'd packed my own condoms, he told me it was vulgar, unladylike, and suspicious that I had them. When I pointed out that he had condoms, he said, “Well yeah I’m a guy. I’m supposed to have those.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 84

Doofus

By Jim - 14/10/2025 03:00

Today, I went to my favorite café to order my usual iced latte. The barista smiled and said, “The usual, right?” I nodded confidently, except she wasn’t talking to me. She handed the drink to the guy behind me and said, “Thanks, babe.” He winked at her. I just paid for my drink in silence, praying for a sinkhole to open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 112

On the twelfth day of Xmas, my true love sent to me…

By Yudith - 14/12/2025 15:00

Today, it's the twelfth day since I ordered the fittings (which are not sold in hardware stores) needed for one of our tenants' leaking kitchen sink. I received two emails; one that says the package will arrive today, and one that says never mind, the package will arrive in seven weeks. For the tenant, FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 77

I'm out

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 22:00

Today, is another day that my wife will choose anything over sex. I don't want to flirt with her anymore. If I can't have a normal sex life, I would rather embrace celibacy. I love her and was flirting with her daily up until now, but if she needs some other kind of confirmation to feel sexy, she can go ahead and find it. I'm done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 145

You never know

By Anonymous - 16/08/2025 21:00 - United States - Ballston Spa

Today, a woman came up to my cash register, where I was struggling with the cash, and asked if we took cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 109

And how do you know that?

By Anonymous - 07/10/2025 15:00

Today, my colleagues have been trying to play matchmaker between myself and the new girl at the office. I'll admit we share more similarities than differences from what I've learned so far, but I know something my colleagues don't: she's actively pursuing a guy through online dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 90

Relatable

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 00:00

Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 201

Bad start

By Tum - 27/02/2026 12:00

Today, I was starting a new job that requires me to wake up at 4 am. I set three alarms but was so nervous about sleeping through them that I kept waking up to check the time, which caused me to miss my alarms. Goodbye awesome new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 136

One-upped

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 15:00 - Canada - King City

Today, I went out to see my uncle on my mom’s side and his family for my mom’s birthday. My oldest cousin insisted that he and his wife give their gift first. It was a stuffed bear, along with the news that they’re expecting their first kid, and making my mom a great-aunt. My gift was a cake she used to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 94

Smooth moves

By Clumsy - 05/07/2025 00:00 - France - Paris

Today, I went to my usual cafe and ordered a caramel latte. As I handed back my empty cup, I gestured to compliment the barista… and knocked over a perfectly balanced tray of macarons. They scattered across the counter and floor like colorful grenades, and I spent the next 10 minutes on my hands and knees scooping pastry shells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 199

Shitty

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 03:00

Today, I woke up at my brother-in-law's house in the middle of the night to discover I had a watery shit in my underwear. I thought I was safe because had on a Depends, I wasn’t and had to change my sweatpants too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 144

Hi Chris!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 12:00

Today, my coworkers surprised me with a birthday cake. It was really sweet, until I realized it was for another “Chris” who works in accounting. They only noticed after I blew out the candles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 75

Hair care

By Anonymous - 28/08/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, after spending a week detangling my hair (It took a week because my hands have nerve issues) because it felt like my scalp was glued to my scalp from not being taken care of, I cut it all off. My hair got tangled in the device twice and eventually revealed a burn on my scalp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 110

Good boy

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 15:00

Today, I took my dog to the vet. The vet asked me to hold him still and keep him chill while he took his temperature rectally. My dog freaked out, jumped, and the thermometer hit me in the face. The vet just said, “That’s a first.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 111

Three days?

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 15:00

Today, my girlfriend of three entire days broke up with me. She said it was because she needed to recover from her breakup, but that was nine months ago, and I haven't done a single thing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 104

Goddamn sky rats

By Anonymous - 11/09/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a fancy salad for lunch and went to eat it in the park. A strong gust of wind flipped the lid off and launched half the salad into my lap. As I jumped up to shake it off, I slipped on a stray tomato slice, fell backward onto the grass, and watched as a seagull swooped in to eat my croutons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 108

The other shoe will drop

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 03:00

Today, I survived the last round of layoffs. What didn't survive is my team, my manager, and my tasks. Now I'm "reporting" to a VP who used to be three levels above me and has never heard of me. I'm waiting for HR to wake up and realize that this change literally means I get six figures for doing nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 102

Major escalation

By animal cruelty - 24/06/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I complained about a wasp nest in the yard. My boyfriend said he'd take care of it once the sun went down. That evening, I looked outside to see him pour gasoline on the nest and set it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 168

Extreme dieting

By Kaemeleon - 22/05/2025 04:00 - Hong Kong - Tai Wai

Today, a day after after I took a diet pill, I participated in a sprint test. I shat in my pants. I finished the test but got a bad grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 209

To serve and protect

By Stupid dog - 11/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was giving me some good dick, only for us to be interrupted by banging on the door. He had to jump out a window. Serves me right for cheating, huh? Except I'm not married, it was just my psycho overprotective pit bull who smashed the door open when he heard us moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 224

Frustrated girl

By Anonymous - 30/06/2025 22:00 - United Arab Emirates - Al Ain City

Today, as a 26 year-old woman, I had my first orgasm. I gave it to myself. None of my long-term relationships even came close. For almost 26 years I thought I would never have one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 169

Drilling time

By scared - 23/10/2025 09:00

Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 71

Clinging on

By Jeremy - 26/07/2025 00:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 206

Touch grass, Mom

By Anonymous - 15/09/2025 09:00

Today, we had to take my mother to the emergency room because of high blood pressure. As soon as we got back home, she started scrolling through Facebook and getting angry at everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 59

Best prepared

By Anonymous - 05/02/2026 12:00

Today, I called in a refill for a vital medication that I've been on since a couple of decades ago. No big deal since I called a week in advance. I then received a notification that the specific medication is out of stock at the moment, and they won't have another set ready for four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 53

Not now, Mom!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to show my boss a funny photo on my phone. As I handed it over, a notification popped up from my mom that said, “Did you finally meet a nice boy or are you still feral?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 100

Misophonia

By Blech - 07/12/2025 15:00

Today, I was supervising a training exercise at work, where everyone had to wear microphones. One guy was congested and I got to hear six hours of sniffling, snorting, coughing, throat clearing, and mucus blowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 71

Stiff

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 15:00

Today, I went to get checked out for my hip pain that hasn't worsened but isn't going away. When I practiced the stretches the physical therapist wanted me to do, it didn't hurt at all. When I did them much later by myself, it hurt like hell. I described my worst pain at the time as a 4. The pain now is a 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 79

Lovely

By Zorro - 14/11/2025 20:00

Today, I told my mom I was feeling depressed and needed motivation. She hugged me and said, “Honey, you just need to get out there and find someone who loves you for who you are.” Then she added, “...but maybe lose the mustache first.” I’m her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 139

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The Top

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 746

You deserved it 4 871

Today, I put my 3 year old down for her regular nap. About an hour later I wake up from a dream where I was smelling something awful. When I woke up, the smell was still there, so I tracked it down. My daughter had decided to "fingerpaint" with the contents of a dirty diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 205

You deserved it 6 263

Today, I decided to quit dating. I'm a plus-sized girl and I can’t get a guy to save my life. On dating apps they run for the hills when they see my full body. I even tried dating plus-size guys and even they have standards. I fucking hate society’s “ideal” beauty norms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 544

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 617

You deserved it 2 621

Today, my English professor accused me of plagiarizing a poem I submitted, because she'd read it online earlier that day. The poem was mine; I posted it after writing it for her class, and even after logging into the site to prove it, she reported me to the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 198

You deserved it 2 754

Today, my father threw out my $100 wedge of blue cheese because it "smelled funny". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 018

You deserved it 2 251