The Top

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Great minds think alike

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 03:00 - Sweden - Lidingoe

Today, I came in to work to hand in my resignation. The minute I walked in, my manager took me aside and said he wanted to talk to me in private. He then cancelled my position and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 95

The horror

By GW. - 01/04/2025 07:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I have norovirus and my period. I feel like I’m emitting fluids from every hole I have. The toilet looks like something out of a horror movie every time I use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 78

Movie night

By Billie - 01/07/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I went on a first date with a guy who insisted we watch a film at his place. I agreed, despite feeling wary of a potential trap. Halfway through the film, he fell asleep and started snoring. When he woke up, he blamed me for “keeping him up all night.” I was there for less than an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 91

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found out that my doctor got mad I was prescribed Suboxone. Why? He had me in patches and pills when I wanted neither. I found relief and he took it as an issue, but this morning he wrote, "I know you're a druggie" in my file. I've never touched street drugs, and the cherry on top was, "You homeless yet?" A DOCTOR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 88

Recycled

By Anonymous - 20/02/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife told me to my face that I’m the reason climate change is killing babies. All I did was throw a snotty hankie in the bin instead of composting it to be used in her vegetable patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 102

Should be safe… right?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 15:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, a friend invited me over for dinner. She presented me with a "gourmet" homemade meal. As I started eating, I realized it tasted… off. She looked at me expectantly, so I politely ate it all. Afterwards, she told me it was a new recipe she was trying "tuna casserole" made with canned tuna… which we found out later expired in 2015. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 101

Get it on

By Em. - 21/06/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I learned that my married mom has been having an affair with my best friend for over a year. When I tried to fight him, he knocked me on my ass and said, "Your mom is sexy, and your dad's tiny dick wasn't good enough for her. Don't screw this up for me or I'll beat your ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 127

One in hole

By Anonymous - 17/10/2025 03:00

Today, I had to sneak a ladder into a cemetery at midnight because my husband got drunk with his buddies, decided to visit his mother's grave, and in the dark he fell into a fresh grave and couldn’t climb out. Not many women can say they’ve seen their husbands climb out of the grave I suppose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 115

Uninvited

By Boner Jim - 24/07/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, my girl came home and said, "I'm gonna jump in the shower, I'm horny as fuck." Naturally, I assumed that was an invitation, so I lit some candles quickly and hopped on the bed, waiting for her. She got out, looked at me funny and said, "The fuck are you doing? I want to masturbate. Get out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 131

Unwelcome guest

By cpguru24 - 20/03/2025 17:00 - United States - Bellows Falls

Today, my mom's dog bit my dad's girlfriend in the face. At my wedding. We did not know she was bringing her dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 66

I'm always right

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 05:00 - United States - Crestview

Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 93

Very suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 05/06/2025 15:00 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend says he is not cheating, because he has "not met them." He just follows half-naked women, likes only the most revealing pictures, and messages them in private. But yes, he is "not cheating." FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 145

Stinky

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, after wearing high heels all day, I took them off in the car, and sat cross-legged. My husband immediately threw a fit beside me, claiming my feet were disgusting and "smelled bad." He pulled into a parking lot and threatened to leave me there unless I put them back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 287

Fixer upper

By failure - 29/10/2025 15:00

Today, my successful, attractive daughter gave me the "Daddy I can fix him" speech about her boyfriend. He brings in no money, exclusively wears old ratty T-shirts and sweats, and always stinks of BO and cheap beer. I have failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 91

Gotta keep grinding

By Anonymous - 22/08/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I was once again called into work on my day off after someone called in sick. All I want is one day where I get to stay home. Please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 115

Rivalry

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my two idiot boys beat the hell out of each other over a girl they both like. The poor girl isn’t even remotely interested in them, she’s had the same boyfriend for 6 years, and is marrying him next year. What idiots I raised, one has a broken finger and the other is missing teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 154

Black Mirror type shit

By Kareen - 04/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Austin

Today, out of desperation, I tried a new AI therapist app. Mid-session, it paused and asked, “Before we continue, would you like to upgrade to Premium for $9.99?” My mental breakdown was not included in the free trial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 213

Roadblocked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of my house at 6:30am to find that some road workers had dug out a trench in the road right in front of my driveway, then fucked off, leaving their van up the street. There are no buses within walking distance so I missed a full day of work and my boss is pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 66

Undisclosed annoyance

By Hdbelle - 12/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I waited on hold with an undisclosed government office for nearly two and a half hours, sitting through 45 minutes of Terms and Conditions, only for the clerk to finally answer, say “Hello” once, and then hang up on me before I could even respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 91

Troublemakers

By Heyho bilbo - 25/06/2025 13:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I worked all year hand making a costume, just to get kicked out of the Renaissance Faire in an hour. The people next to me got so drunk, they started puking, and just the sight of it makes me puke too. Security wouldn’t listen when I tried to tell them I hadn’t had a single drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 90

Prank off

By I may also need a Tetanus shot - 08/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 80

Stir crazy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 18:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, even if I clean the whole house, my husband refuses to wash dishes if I cook, as I “use too many”, because when he cooks he only uses one pot. His “cooking” is dumping all the week's leftovers into a pot and calling it “stir fry.” It’s disgusting and he’s the only one that eats it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 97

Neighborly

By Michael McMike - 11/02/2025 20:00 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 71

The sensual sounds of Derek Bailey

By Anonymous - 22/05/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to try jazz music on YouTube. I’d only listened to a few songs when my dad came running in with a baseball bat, demanding to know where “he” was hiding. Apparently, everybody knows jazz is “sex music” so he thought I had a man in my room. I’m 24, I could have men in my room if I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 143

Message in a virtual bottle

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 16:00 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was feeling extremely depressed and worthless, so I decided to use the crisis chat. I told them I felt lonely and worthless, and had nobody to talk to. They never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 84

Won't someone think of the landlords?

By Broke - 27/12/2025 12:00

Today, it's been months since I inherited a nice house, only to discover it overrun with squatters. I had to legally evict them, costing thousands. When they were ordered to vacate, they set the house on fire. Now I have a blackened ruin and depleted savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 59

Comma etiquette

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was accused of using AI to write something, all because I used the Oxford Comma ; I use it all the time, and always will. The internet has become such a total shitshow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 102

Not helping

By Missy - 23/09/2025 20:00

Today, after feeling down due to another negative pregnancy test after my hubby and I have been trying for over a year, my mom insisted I come to a BBQ to "cheer me up." I get there and what do I see? Blue and pink balloons. My sister was announcing her pregnancy. My mom got pissed at me when I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 187

Run for the hills

By Ih8meself - 10/11/2025 03:00

Today, my fiance told me that if I don’t “get on Ozempic or some shit” by our honeymoon, he won’t consummate the marriage. Half an hour later he told me to make some breakfast because he was hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 141

Moving day

By Anonymous - 31/12/2024 21:00 - United States - Delhi

Today, the water stopped working in our apartment. We are supposed to be moving into a new place tomorrow, so we asked the landlord if we could move in a day early. Upon arrival, we found that the water tank needed to be installed, so there's no water here either. We are now admitting defeat and checking into a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 94

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The Top

Today, I saw an e-mail notification for my husband regarding a flight to New York this Wednesday. Thanksgiving is on Thursday and we have no relatives in New York. When I asked him about it, he confessed that he’s gonna see a lady he met online and that he wants a divorce. I’m due to give birth next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 121

Today, at the hairdresser's, I fell asleep while my hair was being washed. My barber had to shake me awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 147

You deserved it 1 088

Today, my boyfriend told me he was going away for the weekend to go clubbing with his mates. I would be fine with it, except the mates he's going with already tried to get him to cheat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 930

You deserved it 500

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 147

You deserved it 3 313

Today, I invented a new fusion cuisine delicacy: cigarette-flavored apple sauce. The recipe? Cram so many apple pieces in a pot that they will burn on the bottom, even with plenty of water in it, then go away for 30 minutes and wonder what the bad smell is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 2 277

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 453

You deserved it 4 175