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Hogwatch

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was once again berated by an idiotic parent. I’ve been called a filthy liberal, a groomer, and had my job threatened several times. All of this because I was teaching second graders about pronouns. You know, the part of English grammar that replaces a noun. Nothing political at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 119

Corporate stooge

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell a bald cancer patient that no, having cancer did not entitle her to a 100% discount on coffee. I felt like a douche for saying it, but I work at a well known coffee franchise and I’m not losing my job because someone wants free coffee, no matter how ill they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 92

Where is it?

By Anonymous - 07/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my brother is a brain-dead moron, he let my ex into my house with his spare key so she could “just grab something.” I am now obsessively checking my entire house because last time she got in she put itching powder on every fabric item. Clothes, beds, carpets, towels, pillows, and rugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 101

Tidy and neat

By WhatHaveIDone - 21/08/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, my neighbour asked me to empty and unplug their fridge while they were on a vacation. I took what I could use and threw away the rest. It looks like I also unknowingly threw away a bottle of spices that were handpicked by her uncle and handmade with love, which her son loves eating too. I feel like a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 132

Quality real estate location

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 00:00

Today, I bought an expensive air purifier to combat potential wildfire smoke. The next day, a freak flood knocked out my power. I sat in the dark, breathing in ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 81

Get better locks

By Aww! You shouldn't have! ....REALLY! - 10/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my friends, led by my best friend, threw me a surprise party. Bearing a cake, they all happily yelled, "SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" by suddenly barging in… through the bathroom door. I was on the toilet, in the middle of taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 69

Slash and burn

By Anonymous - 04/05/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I work for a public radio station and I found out our funding was slashed in the new federal budget. Meanwhile, there’s a military parade planned for the president’s birthday. I guess I’ll start podcasting from my garage then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 225

Get out of jail free card

By Anonymous - 29/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my mom was diagnosed autistic, therefore thinks we aren’t allowed to be mad at her for anything she does from here on out or things she did before. Odd, I didn’t know that beating, neglecting and humiliating your children on a near daily basis was an autistic trait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 84

Thanks but no thanks

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 09:00

Today, a woman grabbed my arm and told me she wanted to ride me like a stallion then suck me clean afterwards. It would have been tempting were she not my 90 year-old Alzheimer’s-riddled nana, who raised me on her own and took me to church twice a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 109

Let me think about it

By Girl - 31/12/2025 15:00

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He said, "Will you be the Eva Braun to my Adolf Hitler?" I struggle to think of a worse way to propose to a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 106

Tex Avery moment

By Mustanggt - 07/08/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my roommate took my car without permission while I was at work. He downshifted to pass someone, but went from 5th to 2nd gear, and practically most of the engine went straight out of the tailpipe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 66

Hash it out

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I walked out of our house. My wife suddenly became quiet again because she was mad at me for an unknown reason. It's always like this, and it annoys me every time. She has too much pride and doesn't want to talk things out. I feel so sad, especially since we have a five-month-old baby. I want to break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 153

Time to unionize

By Anonymous - 31/03/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when our boss told us he was giving himself the same raise as everyone else was getting, we thought he was finally being a decent human being. Nope. He meant it literally. His raise to himself is the same amount as the other 12 employees' raises combined. His raise is 12x what ours is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 76

Ticket to ride

By Newny_Newny_Newny - 04/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after I just finished a 16-hour double shift, my brother asked me to ride with him to do an Instacart. While delivering these people’s groceries, his car overheated and oil light came on. He had no money, so I had to fix and pay for the parts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 82

Careless words

By Kilamo - 16/06/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, after burying my dad on my birthday, one of my aunts walked up to me and said, "Well at least you won't forget your birthday." I wanted to cuss her out so bad, like, bitch, how would I forget my birthday and the day I buried my dad? FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 80

Twitter (currently X)

By MF - 21/12/2025 12:00

Today, because now Twitter shows the "For you" section automatically, the first thing I saw was some guy saying childless women are useless and pathetic. I wanted kids but had a hysterectomy because I was developing cancer. Seeing that brought back the pain and made me feel like crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 114

Stuck

By Anonymous - 12/05/2025 02:00 - China - Shenzhen

Today, I’ve been unemployed for a year since graduating. I haven’t been able to find a job or feel any joy in my life, and have been stuck at home, completely relying on my parents, but now they’re gonna kick me out. I’ve turned into a complete failure, I can’t even kill myself because I’m not brave enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 196

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 15:00

Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 93

Love is…

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 15:00

Today, my husband called me into the bathroom to wipe his ass, as he's become too fat to do it himself. I don't know what's sadder, the fact that I did it or the fact that I miss when he was at least ashamed to ask. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 151

Stepdad woes

By Djdjfj - 22/03/2025 14:00 - United States

Today, I reminded my fiancee's kid to put the toilet seat up when he pees. My fiancée heard and shrieked at me to stop being controlling and weird. Yesterday, she threw a tantrum because there was piss on the toilet seat. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 113

He said what?!

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I filed my taxes and I normally claim my parents as dependants. My taxes got rejected because my parents filed their taxes without informing me, and they don't have income. They believe if they file taxes, they get $5000 back, per Trump. It ended up costing me over $3,500 extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 152

I'll see you in court

By UGGHhhhhh - 13/01/2026 00:00

Today, my nail client came with yet another sob story about a bill being on autopay and they took it from her account before her appointment. I set boundaries and said I won’t proceed until I’m paid in full (She owes over $300). She responded by trashing my shop. $1000 in nail polish supplies down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 65

Security!

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at the park, a woman asked if I could watch her toddler for a second while she ran to the bathroom. Before I could answer, she ran off. Ten minutes later, a police officer approached me because someone reported a "man lurking with a child." I’m a woman. And not the babysitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 76

Welcome!

By Annoyed - 27/04/2025 00:00 - Canada

Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 81

Work is freedom, duh!

By Exhauster - 30/07/2025 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, I figured out how my wife sees things. When I'm at work, I don't have to deal with responsibilities at home. Thus, work is a mini-vacation, and since I take a mini-vacation every day, I should have no problem cooking dinner and cleaning for hours after work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 165

Leaking from everywhere

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 89

Thanks, I guess?

By Alex - 04/09/2025 02:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, after months of helping my girlfriend accommodate into her new apartment to escape from her abusive mother, she thanked me by posting an Instagram story with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 89

Trigger happy

By Helen - 03/08/2025 03:00 - Netherlands - Creil

Today, my boyfriend saw a notification on my phone saying "Men's Singles". He lost his shit and dumped me. It was a tennis match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 102

RIP to a real one

By ohnooooo - 28/06/2025 22:00 - Luxembourg

Today, it's the 11th anniversary of my dog's adoption, who died a few months ago. I miss her and can’t stop crying. I’m very sick and don’t know if I’ll ever be fit to have a dog again. Loneliness sucks big time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 122

A day to remember

By Sam - 20/09/2025 09:00

Today, it's my birthday. My grandmother died yesterday. We were close and she basically raised me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 46

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my sister made serious plans to move to another country to be closer to the married man she's having an affair with. She thinks this will force him to leave his family. I know who will have to listen to her whining when she is sitting all alone in a different country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 136

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years thinks that it is too expensive to get married, go on vacations, concerts, etc., but spends $100+/month on Hentai. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 491

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 352

You deserved it 5 791

Today, I had to explain to a customer that I couldn't give her a cash refund on a card transaction. She bought the item, and within 5 minutes returned it, demanding a refund. It takes 2 business days for the refund to process. She saw fit to throw an epic tantrum, and I was written up for “upsetting the customer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 105

Today, a judge ruled against me. I filed for divorce because my wife got pregnant even though I had a vasectomy. Apparently, not informing your spouse of a vasectomy is worse than cheating in the eyes of the court. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 992

You deserved it 1 404

Today, at work, I broke the drinks machine for the third time. The first two times I broke the key, this time I switched it off and couldn't turn it back on after my manager warned me not to mess with it AFTER I had switched it off. The best part? The key is still broken from last time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 318

You deserved it 5 734