The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Woah!

By Mel - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 304

You deserved it 13 080

Wait, what?

By HereToLaughAtU - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Des Moines

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 897

You deserved it 4 903

They're indoctrinating our children… with pranks!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my eight year-old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mindfucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 819

You deserved it 4 008

What the actual ****?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment building, in the middle of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 028

You deserved it 1 793

Tough crowd

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 496

You deserved it 30 710

Final destination

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad's cremated remains came in the mail. This is the first time in my entire adult life that he has visited me at my home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 536

You deserved it 2 831

Bad joke, dude!

By Peterrulesall - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as a joke, I put a picture of a sonogram on my girlfriend's Facebook. Now her entire family hates me, and her mother has started the two-hour drive to come pull her out of college. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 3 467

Dropped the ball

By TrueStories - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a football sleepover with all of my teammates. I felt something near the bottom of my sleeping bag, and I pulled it up with my foot. My entire team watched me pull out a red thong. My parents had been on a camping trip the week before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 645

You deserved it 4 193

Hydra

By whatisthisidonteven - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Israel - Ramat Gan

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 369

You deserved it 2 719

Ouch

By sadface - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 798

You deserved it 7 511

Fly my beauties

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 150

You deserved it 5 517

It's a sign!

By unknown951 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 040

You deserved it 4 830

Cheers!

By imamonster1992 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend got rejected by his dream college. In an effort to comfort him, I told him that he is incredibly smart and that it's their loss. He replied, "Of course you think so, you're an idiot!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 419

You deserved it 5 076

Can't take it anymore

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 088

You deserved it 6 607

Pranks gone awry

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, whilst I was in a corner deli getting snacks, my girlfriend thought it would be funny to drive the car 50 metres down the street so that I would be confused when I came out... She was picked up by a cop driving without her license and now my car is impounded for 28 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 577

You deserved it 3 451

Inspection time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 670

You deserved it 3 697

Indoctrinated

By workfordayzz - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 608

You deserved it 9 108

Karma

By fullmoonfml - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 213

You deserved it 58 456

Precious memories

By Mangler - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Belgium

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was, "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 645

You deserved it 5 348

Self own + Karma

By Anonymous - 07/03/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 836

Whoops

By mmv - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my car into the shop to get a minor problem fixed. I left several hours later, without my car. Why? The mechanic crashed it while out on a test drive to make sure he'd fixed the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 541

You deserved it 2 209

Trick question

By howprofessional - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Dearborn

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 088

You deserved it 47 496

Yes problem

By DarkDolly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 447

You deserved it 3 237

The gush

By mwja - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 814

You deserved it 4 011

Not my problem

By Anonymous - 19/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, my husband admitted to getting his side chick (who I didn't know about) pregnant. If that wasn't bad enough, he actually had the nerve to call me a "selfish bitch" for wanting a divorce and refusing to help raise the kid once it's born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 78

Erm, thanks?

By ninnang - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Honolulu

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died." My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 498

You deserved it 3 582

Home sweet home

By Deadcat101 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my unemployed mother decided to yet again stay home and drink heavily. So far she's kicked me out of the house, tipped over our sofa, and thrown her vibrator out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 358

You deserved it 2 000

Experience

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 164

You deserved it 3 150

Bad reputation

By thanks, my fellow americans - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Woodlyn

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 097

You deserved it 13 892

Theater kid

By juliet - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133 807

You deserved it 6 365

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 750

You deserved it 6 414

Today, I was trying to propose to my girlfriend when some scumbag snatched the ring and bolted. I chased him down, tackled him, and punched him until he gave the ring back. Now my girl is upset, crying, "What if he was hungry and needed to buy food? You didn't have to hurt him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 86

Today, my husband, during casual family chat, told my CHILDREN all about my childhood sexual abuse as I stared at him in disbelief. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 137

Today, I went to a tattoo artist to get what I thought would be really cute, elegant finger tattoos. I left with wobbly, blobby messes all over my fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 2 767

Today, I took my dog to the vet because he hadn't eaten his food in three days, was drinking a lot of water, and was peeing a lot (all signs of antifreeze poisoning). I spent $200 at the vet to tell me that my dog is fine and just didn't like his current food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 996

You deserved it 5 544

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 766

You deserved it 3 028