Your everyday life stories

I didn't have an account when I posted this, but I'm the OP, and honestly, during our drunken state, I mustered up enough sobriety to prevent things from going too far. I as well, didn't want to ruin things between us by having sex because I respected her too much, and wanted more than that. Was it the right thing to do, or was I just being a dumbass? One commenter was correct in stating that she was confused as to what she really wanted. Either way, we've talked it out, and moved over that. It's better anyways maybe, considering we both work together and I have to go on months long deployments with this girl, haha. :]

SlapAndTickle - 11/10/2013 03:04 - United States

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

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Basic bitch

snarly1 - - United States

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

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Sir Alan Sugar has spoken

freckleboy422 - 31/01/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

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Meh

Meh - 18/07/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML

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Orgasmataz - 25/01/2015 22:10 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

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Orgasmataz

Orgasmataz 0

Monday 26 January 2015 20:13

OP here! We did have some music playing actually...I don't think my flatmates will be listening to Jake Bugg for a while haha

Make it stop

tcm123 - - United States - Champaign

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

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Numou - 08/12/2008 07:26 - France

Today, I pointed out to my girlfriend that she wasn't jealous. She replied, "Well actually, I am, I just can't prove it cause no one else is interested in you". FML

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hoo flung pu - 03/10/2013 08:26 - United States

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

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Juggalette - 29/01/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

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Juggalette1020

Juggalette1020 0

Monday 1 February 2010 2:29

Umm. The only reason It happened because we were just starting 3rd shit at that IHOP And the only people who realized that we were open were the drunk people. So there's bound to be assholes. And I deserve it for my name? Ummm No.

gr8 - 28/09/2018 17:30

Today, because I had to leave the country without notice and didn't have reception to notify my college, I have been irreversibly dropped from all my classes without a refund and will have to reapply for January. FML

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