The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Small comforts

By Anonymous - 22/03/2020 22:36

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 746

You deserved it 198

By alucas3 - 29/05/2016 20:14 - United States

Today, I got a rental car because my car needed new tires and I had a long drive ahead of me. Today, the rental car got a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 391

You deserved it 1 098

By ABBenzin - 01/02/2012 16:11 - United States

Today, I was breaking into a house when three police cruisers pulled up. They ran my social, my license plates, and asked me twenty minutes worth of questions, before allowing me to go back to work. I work as a locksmith; the homeowner had lost their keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 466

You deserved it 3 790

By Jon - 02/04/2011 16:44 - United States

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 242

You deserved it 3 473

By Angel1000168 - 27/03/2011 08:37 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 821

You deserved it 6 236

Angel1000168 tells us more.

Angel1000168 16

Monday 16 May 2011 5:45

Ok, guys, OP here. In answer to all the questions/statements about which was smaller, it was the ring. Sorry for not making that clear. And he didn't stink the ring around his balls, he sticky-taped it. My fingers are not that big. Sorry about not making that clear either but the limited words made that tricky. I said no, of course, as I don't want a man that thinks I have that sort of mind or personality. I have gone through every aspect of my relationship with that man and haven't found anything that suggested that I wanted to be proposed to in that manner. Thanks for all your advice!

Show and tell

By Boyufd - 22/04/2020 23:00

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 225

You deserved it 323

My ears!

By puking now - 14/12/2013 00:34 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my sister brought a guy home while our parents were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 272

You deserved it 5 178

By Anonymous - 20/03/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, at my wedding, my brother decided it would be funny to trip me as I was walking down the aisle, in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 335

You deserved it 4 582

It is

By Anonymous - 07/12/2013 07:17 - United States - San Pablo

Today, my fifteen year-old son decided to tell his little five year-old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 568

You deserved it 6 958

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:52 - United States

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 530

You deserved it 8 427

By Anonymous - 05/12/2013 19:10 - United Kingdom - Washington

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 740

You deserved it 8 791

By lingling - 16/12/2012 00:57 - United States - Germantown

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 146

You deserved it 5 991

Crowded House

By crowded - 20/05/2020 23:00

Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to his parents' house for the weekend. He didn’t tell me until after we’d arrived that all his siblings and their SO's would also be coming. His parents live in a 2 bedroom, one bath house. So far there are 16 people here and he’s refusing to drive me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 185

You deserved it 339

Take the L

By JPPUDLY - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Los Gatos

Today, I had to create a perfect society in English class; the best society has their grade go up a full letter. After tons of preparation and thinking, I lost to an island made only of cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 812

You deserved it 2 510

By hnickell93 - 10/12/2012 18:37 - United States - Visalia

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 892

You deserved it 12 880

By embarassed - 08/08/2009 14:53 - United States

Today, I went for a hike with my new boyfriend on a fairly deserted trail my ex-husband had shown me awhile back. In all my hikes there, I've never seen another person and figured it would be okay to get intimate. Guess who came hiking past? That's right, my ex-husband. And our 8yr old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 113

You deserved it 73 099

Red flag

By silver - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, while discussing my family on a date, I mentioned that my parents are divorced. She immediately got up and left without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 357

You deserved it 341

By ughno - 21/02/2010 19:50 - United States

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 842

You deserved it 3 368

ughno tells us more.

ughno 0

Monday 22 February 2010 5:36

wow this has just turned into a bug argument over who's state it better hahaha

By tired waitress - 25/04/2016 23:05 - United States

Today, I'm a waitress. A customer came in and acted very kindly and even mentioned how I was such a help to her. She also mentioned leaving a nice tip. The tip? A fake $20. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 680

You deserved it 1 203

By C.Neyy - 21/02/2010 07:04 - United States

Today, I hung out with the guy I've liked for the first time in 3 years. And when he left, I gave him a hug, he pushed me, I tripped, and hit my head into the wall. Then to save his embarassment, pushed me over onto the couch and pretended to rape me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 296

You deserved it 3 551

L0lCney tells us more.

L0lCney 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 20:24

He accidently pushed me, its not like he ment to do it. I hugged him, my leg was caught behind the arm rest on my chair, And I fell onto the arm rest, & hit my head on the wall, HARD. He grabbed my head saying sorry, then pushed me onto the couch & "fake raped" me cause all my friends were laughing. I think he was just trying to make the situation better, it didn't though. At all. I haven't talked to him since. :/