By Bikeless - 20/08/2018 18:48
The Top
dino-rex tells us more.
Call the waaaambulance!
By boiled ladybits - 25/06/2020 14:02
Double crossed
By ??? - 19/07/2020 05:01
Jesus wept
By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France
Family guy
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff
Drama
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Brookhaven
By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 10:29 - United States - Palmer
By NeedsANewApartment - 13/01/2016 05:54 - United States - Wurtsboro
By Anonymous - 05/12/2018 08:00 - United States - Wauseon
Thanks, "Bro"
By probably on death row soon - 25/12/2015 18:32 - United States - Winter Park
By NYM88 - 17/12/2015 18:34 - Canada - Winnipeg
NYM88 tells us more.
OP here. Firstly for those who automatically assumed my coworker was a male, you've made an ass out of you and supposedly me too. Secondly for those saying that they shouldn't have done the Heimlich maneuver and should have hit me on the back.. You've again made assumptions based on a lack of information. Unfortunately you are limited to the amount of characters your FML can be composed of so I had to leave out details. My coworker she first asked me if I could breathe, when I shook my head no, she gave a few thrusts with her palm to my back between the shoulder blades and when that failed to dislodge the candy she told me she was going to perform the Heimlich maneuver and I nodded and when she did she got it out in the first try thankfully and my ribs I think are still a bit tender from, I'd guess, bruising. And to those that said thankfully I'm alive.. Thanks, I am glad I am too even though cleaning up wasn't something I was glad about!
By Rusty - 12/12/2015 00:49 - United States
By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 13:08 - United States
By oops... - 03/04/2017 17:57
By Anonymous - 05/04/2017 12:00
Double standards
By onlywantuanyway - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Too late
By hinting - 17/06/2013 16:43 - United States - Dearborn
By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38
By JJ - 03/10/2015 07:42 - United States - Irwin
By Anonymous1221 - 21/11/2016 07:12
By RoseTylerTheDoctor - 11/06/2017 06:00 - United States - Boise
Asshat
By marenthehollow - 31/10/2016 00:33 - United States - American Fork
By Anonymous - 20/10/2016 13:17 - United Kingdom - Maidstone
When the Jehova's Witnesses come knocking...
By FML Approved - 28/07/2017 18:30
By SoDamnBroke - 28/09/2016 13:13 - South Africa
By Battlebarney - 22/09/2016 10:58 - United States - Washington
Mexican Standoff
By JillianJuneBug - 17/08/2019 18:00
By FML.. - 06/04/2009 19:51 - China
By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 04:00
Not a Bio major
By Anonymous - 27/06/2011 13:55 - United States
Keywords
I did watch... the security footage afterwards. It was actually my residential building. It was Saturday, I was out of town, and when I got home, the management kindly informed us that the idiot receptionist did nothing but watch when the kids took the bikes. And when I say kids, I mean KIDS, they were no more than 12! They very obviously did not live there (residents all know where the bikes are because they are VERY visible), so my guess is that the receptionist (a guy, by the way) was actually in on the plan to steal the bikes. Sadly, there has been no action taken.