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By chococool223 - 12/04/2009 10:51 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 257

You deserved it 12 494

chococool223 tells us more.

chococool223 0

Monday 13 April 2009 9:34

okay, i couldnt put to much info in my thread because the 300 word limit kept me from writing too much information. As a mom, i can't really go around wearing all this fancy makeup or whatever, it would be unreasonable. Also, i cut my hair to about chin length, and dyed it brown (i used to be blonde) because since im a mom, i wanted to look the part. when i was a model, I was 20-30 lbs underweight, so when I gained 50 lbs, it made a difference to my face. Also, i was NOT travelling from somewhere in the US to Chicago, i was travelling from my vacation in Korea to Chicago. I have a Dutch passport, so its different there. but anyways, im loosing weight and i acually got a new passport picture today so i wont be having this problem again

By whoops - 11/04/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, I was on my way home from work and decided to stop at the grocery store. I purchased $200 in groceries and went to put them in my car. I then realized I drove my motorcycle today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 426

You deserved it 88 802

By oh dear - 25/10/2009 09:06 - France

Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 341

You deserved it 5 180

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 06:02

Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 523

Charged

By Stickerless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was pulled over for not having my car inspection up to date. I had my car inspected two weeks earlier. Since I'm at college my sticker was mailed to my home. My mother didn't want to pay the 42 cent postage, so now I have to pay $250 because my mother is cheap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 529

You deserved it 4 488

By clublulu - 10/04/2009 02:40 - United States

Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 807

You deserved it 77 204

By geniusdrunk - 09/08/2019 02:00

Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 723

By Gustav Fjorder - 04/07/2011 07:27 - Switzerland

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 907

You deserved it 10 350

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 386

You deserved it 4 931

By Anonymous - 04/09/2010 19:16 - United States

Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 870

You deserved it 16 280

Memory loss

By UGH - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to return a shirt to Target. My mom offered to do it for me on her way to work, so I gave her the shirt and receipt. Later, I remembered that on the same receipt I had purchased condoms, lube, and whipped cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 296

You deserved it 81 116

Please…

By Anonymous - 08/04/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I was afraid my mother had seen the bottle of hand lotion I'd forgotten to take off the desk after I'd whacked off last night, but she acted fine. I went out with friends to find she'd had changed the background to say "Please Do Not Watch Porn on the Family Computer." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 118

You deserved it 66 334

By toobroketoprotest - 16/08/2019 20:00

Today, I found out that the higher-ups aren’t letting us use the break room anymore, so guess it’s back to eating lunch in my car while it’s 100°F outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 134

Stay safe, everyone

By Anonymous - 11/04/2021 05:00

Today, I found out that one of my workmates had passed away due to Covid-19. He was among five other workmates who were calling me a "pussy" for going back and forth to work in car, instead of public transport. These five guys were eventually infected by someone in the public transport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 186

Bad day

By gwen - 13/04/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I found out I have Covid. Also, the police kicked me out of the hotel I'm quarantining in. This is still not my worst birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 135

The road to hell

By notgoodwitholdpeople - 23/05/2014 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 858

You deserved it 3 119

By saxophone911 - 13/04/2013 15:52 - United States

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 291

You deserved it 44 423

HALLO?

By BrilsmurfO_O - 06/04/2009 14:12 - Netherlands

Today, I was at IKEA with my parents. I walked away from them and later I heard the speaker of the store call my name asking me to come to the playground because my mom and dad were worried. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 186

You deserved it 4 986

By Courtney - 28/06/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 920

You deserved it 5 132

Empathy

By Anonymous - 16/04/2021 23:59 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I had a miscarriage. My partner doesn't understand why I'm upset, saying, "It wasn't even a real baby yet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 656

You deserved it 174

Trust your gut

By no more please - 29/06/2022 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband and I once again argued over expiration dates. He says I’m paranoid and wasteful. I finally gave in and ate some food I wasn’t so sure of. Well, his innards must be made of vibranium because I’m currently in the fetal position on the bathroom floor after puking for an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 288

Dickwad move

By solo it is - 30/09/2023 19:00 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I’m 8 months pregnant. The father says the he won’t come to any more appointments, the baby shower, or even the birth unless his new girlfriend is allowed to be in the room when I deliver. I said absolutely not, so he told me to never call him again, and blocked me. They’ve been together for 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 267

By a - 10/04/2013 19:09 - United States

Today, my husband and I announced our upcoming divorce. My friends told me how sorry they were and that they're available for whatever I need. His friends told him to just call the girl from last weekend and get himself laid again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 416

You deserved it 7 044

By ouch - 28/04/2012 06:54 - United States - Fullerton

Today, I was with a friend at the mall and I made eye contact and smiled at the worker at a smoothie stand that I went on a date with last year. He saw me, and then ducked down behind the register, where he remained while his coworker awkwardly leaned over him to take my order and money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 869

You deserved it 3 216

By Geewizz - 05/04/2009 08:35 - United States

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend that she was tanning naked. I replied saying I wished I was there to make tanning more fun. She replied saying that its ok because Kevin was there. My girlfriend was tanning naked with another guy over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 498

You deserved it 4 718

By (not) fucked - 16/05/2014 16:01 - United States - Kingsville

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 796

You deserved it 8 271

By MickyIsEVIL - 09/04/2013 11:05 - Japan - Nagoya

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 146

You deserved it 3 907

By Anonymous - 25/06/2011 20:39 - Switzerland

Today, my family went out to dinner at a seafood restaurant. While we were eating our food, my grandma demanded to see the manager, and loudly complained that her fish was "too fishy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 098

You deserved it 4 240

Childlike

By Anonymous - 18/04/2021 23:01 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, during an argument between me and my boyfriend, he called for his mom. She came up and told us both off and told us to stop screaming, as if we were kids. We are both well over 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 1 238

By Lookalike - 12/05/2014 14:38 - United States - Nitro

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 500

You deserved it 5 519

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The Top

Today, my dad undermined my life's work. I finally opened my own bakery, but my dad told me it's a "sissies job" since it doesn't involve manual labour like he did for 50 years and I'll probably go out of business, because no one will want cakes from a 6 foot 8 man with tattoos, piercings and a shaved head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 902

You deserved it 129

Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 437

You deserved it 216

Today, I returned a shirt for my mom. When the cashier asked why, I just said my mom didn't like the way it looked. After an awkward pause, I noticed the cashier was wearing the same shirt. She was not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 065

You deserved it 372

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 809

You deserved it 2 632

Today, the fire alarm went off at my apartment. I rushed out but forgot to grab a coat, so I hopped in my car and fired it up, figuring I'd wait it out. A fireman knocked on my window and loudly asked me to get out, then wrote me a citation for "improper fire alarm protocols." That's a thing? FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 95

Today, my sister told me about a website that explained why our stressed cat has been obsessively pulling out the fur on her legs. Interested, I asked for a link. Not just out of deep concern for the cat, but because I have the same problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 927

You deserved it 5 932