The Top

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By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the movies. After it was over I got up and noticed a designer purse sitting on the ground in the back row. I opened it to look for anything that could give me a address so I could return it. The owner came back, assumed I was robbing her, and punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 822

You deserved it 6 396

By unlucky - 11/12/2014 13:26 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 330

You deserved it 39 782

By grossedout - 29/08/2013 16:26 - United States - Endicott

Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 159

You deserved it 3 716

New year, same shit

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I swapped a shift so I didn't have to work on New Year's Eve. An hour later, I realized I didn't have anyone to spend it with. I swapped it back. I'll be ringing in the New Year with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 780

You deserved it 4 531

Out of the blue

By Kellie - 11/01/2022 01:59

Today, my high school sweetheart and husband of 20 years sent me a text, saying, "You will notice I'm no longer living at home. I moved in with my parents while you were making dinner tonight. There's no one else. I'm just over the being married & stuff." Twenty years and dumped / divorced via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 064

You deserved it 153

And you may ask yourself…

By birgz - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, my roommates sent a relationship request to my one night stand with my Facebook account. She accepted, and sent me a long message confessing her love for me. I can't remember her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 344

You deserved it 21 672

Vicious circle

By nicklesg - 23/06/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, my car was impounded because I never registered it in California after moving here. In order to get it back, I need to register it. In order to register it, I need to pass a CA smog check. In order to pass the smog check, I need my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 571

You deserved it 14 520

Hangover Struggles

By FML Videos - 27/10/2018 18:00 - United States - New York

That is one thirsty pig!

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 84

Quiet down!

By grooveshark - 30/09/2020 20:01

Today, I could hear my parents having sex from the other end of my house. My mom set the stove on fire because she forgot she was cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 137

By strwbrry - 27/12/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I came home early, and my boyfriend's car was in my driveway. Inside, he was talking to my parents. He walked right past me and left. My mother then says, "He wanted me to tell you it's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 324

You deserved it 2 868

By KarlwithaK - 19/05/2009 03:29 - United States

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 993

You deserved it 4 177

By hh. - 05/12/2014 21:13 - United States - Clear Lake

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house to break up with him. When I got there, I got sent on a scavenger hunt that ended with him proposing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 686

You deserved it 7 236

By Srain - 07/01/2010 06:36 - Australia

Today, feeling confident, I asked my boyfriend what he thought of my new body, since I had lost 16 kilos over the past month. He told me that he missed the old me and wanted me to gain weight again. My boyfriend was the one that encouraged me to lose weight in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 502

You deserved it 3 861

By HannahBretts - 24/08/2013 05:28 - United States - Turlock

Today, I'm watching a TV show about horrible germs in hotel rooms that you can catch from a bed... while I am stuck in a hotel room... on the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 366

You deserved it 7 995

Yay…

By ribbonsundone - 06/01/2010 10:07 - United States

Today, I treated my friends to lunch at a posh restaurant because it's my birthday. While we were walking leisurely around the mall afterwards, their boyfriends showed up. I spent the next few hours walking alone behind them while they were walking hand in hand with their boyfriends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 322

You deserved it 4 593

Fight clubbed

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife picked a fight with a guy twice my size, then expected me to “man up and teach the bitch a lesson.” I’m not insane so I of course refused to fight, then she locked me out of the house for embarrassing her in front of her sisters. I want a frisking divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 146

By WhyTheFNot - 20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 495

You deserved it 9 340

Bullying 101

By FML Videos - 05/11/2018 18:30

Who's the chicken now, punk?

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 116

Boys will be boys

By optimistic2628 - 19/10/2011 14:03 - United States

Today, my 5 year-old twin boys decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 064

You deserved it 7 064

My kids would never lie

By au. - 06/01/2022 05:01

Today, one of the kids I was babysitting had a severe peanut allergy, and he looked me dead in the eye as he ate a peanut bar before I could stop him. His sister swore up and down that I made him eat it. Guess who the parents believed, even after I rushed him to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 122

By killmenow - 10/09/2012 17:52 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 281

You deserved it 77 754

Weak lemon drink

By Anonymous - 24/01/2022 05:01 - Colombia - Medell?n

Today, my girlfriend made the case that sexting a guy she hasn’t seen in person doesn’t count as cheating, because her “hobby” predates our 3-year relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 182

By LD619 - 16/12/2010 05:51 - United States

Today, I gave my ex-girlfriend two concert tickets to show her I still care about her and want to win her back. She sold them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 598

You deserved it 44 644

By nobffs - 01/01/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 483

You deserved it 2 966

By JustAGiftCardPlease - 16/06/2009 04:39 - United States

Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 080

You deserved it 3 835

Stacy's Mom

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 263

Vigilante

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 22:00

Today, I got called to my son's school again because he punched a girl. Every time he gets in a fight, he justifies it by saying he only hits bullies he catches hurting other kids. His teachers even agree he only hits the bullies like that girl, but it’s becoming a huge problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 155

By INeedaNewJob - 16/11/2014 23:25 - United States - Kent

Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 3 673

By glitterzebra - 09/10/2011 08:30 - United States

Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 282

You deserved it 13 437

Spread the love

By Darcy - 28/01/2022 16:59

Today, I found out that the same doctor who came over to run Covid tests on my family actually infected us with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 283

You deserved it 146

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The Top

Today, I'm still reeling from Xmas, as we got a tornado, power was out, and we got a heatwave warning with temperatures up to 37°C. Our power was off for 5 days. When it was restored, we got a flood warning, 150ml of rain, and no sign of it stopping anytime soon. Welcome to Christmas in Queensland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 118

Today, it's day three of me having unexplained diarrhea that leaves me with such bad gas that it keeps me up at night. Less than a month ago I was complaining to my doctor about having severe chronic constipation. My digestive tract can't seem to make up it's mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 54

Today, I found out that my 50-year-old ex-husband and the 20-year-old skank he cheated on me with are buying the house next door to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 661

You deserved it 305

Today, having moved to Moscow over a week ago, I finally received the TV my work promised my flat would have. A big Russian man came to my door, handed me a TV from the 1970s and left. It doesn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 065

You deserved it 332

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Then my COVID test came back as positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 161

Today, I took my father to a hockey game. He always has to get pictures with the girls, so while in bag check, he used his breath spray. He got me in the eye, and I was temporarily blinded through most of the first period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 161