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Someone needs a good talking to

By Anonymous - 02/07/2025 11:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my husband once again woke me up in the wee hours to have sex. Don’t get me wrong, the sex is great but as soon as he nuts he rolls over and goes right back to sleep. I however am stuck awake and can’t get back to sleep no matter how hard I try. FML

agreeclassic 426

vote type 1 136

Boom!

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband is such a tight-wadded cheapskate that his idea of “taking the family out” is going to Costco to try all the samples. PS: Yes, I work too, so he’s not the only “provider", he’s just cheap and boring as all hell. FML

agreeclassic 414

vote type 1 144

Under pressure

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 23:30 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, after having pulled like three all-nighters and studying hardcore for months, when it came down to it, I couldn't solve even one question. I almost broke down. FML

agreeclassic 386

vote type 1 107

Clinging on

By Jeremy - 26/07/2025 00:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

agreeclassic 329

vote type 1 205

EVERYTHING COMPUTER

By Anonymous - 02/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I spent several minutes trying to log into my email, only to realize I was typing my work password instead of my personal one. After three failed attempts, my account locked me out for 24 hours. Now I can’t check my emails or reset the password because they need me to check my email. FML

agreeclassic 184

vote type 1 344

Sociopaths

By piggies - 07/08/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I met my husband's coworkers, one of whom told us about how he shot pigs from a helicopter. My husband thought it was awesome. I started crying. That's just cruel. FML

agreeclassic 359

vote type 1 341

Overenthusiastic

By Jeremy - 25/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was at the gym trying out the rowing machine. On my first pull, I leaned too far back, lost my balance, and launched myself straight off the seat. I landed on the mat behind me while people around me pretended not to laugh. FML

agreeclassic 335

vote type 1 159

Glad to help

By Anonymous - 04/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Starbucks, the person behind me started venting about their breakup. I assumed they were on the phone with a friend, so I nodded along. After 5 minutes, I realized they were talking directly to me. I ended up giving relationship advice while holding a frappuccino I didn’t even order. FML

agreeclassic 317

vote type 1 168

Revenge tastes good

By Anonymous - 13/09/2025 15:00

Today, I reported my ex-spouse for license suspension after he cheated on me. Not my problem anymore. FML

agreeclassic 265

vote type 1 105

So… about that…

By Anonymous - 17/09/2025 03:00

Today, the moment I had been fearing for the past few days arrived: my mom asked me if I knew what a groyper was. I don't know what's worse, that I know what they are, or that trying explain the concept is so convoluted, she now thinks I'm making shit up. FML

agreeclassic 263

vote type 1 100

People are not doing OK right now

By Anonymous - 22/09/2025 12:00

Today, my mom cried while watching the Charlie Kirk memorial on TV. She has been sharing terrible AI videos on social media with the guy saying stuff he never said when he was alive. She didn't cry at all when my dad, her husband of 28 years, died, or even during his funeral. She barely even mentions him at all. FML

agreeclassic 500

vote type 1 109

Parking lot chaos

By Clumsy - 03/10/2025 03:00

Today, a bag of grapes fell out of my shopping cart in the parking lot. I bent down to grab them, only for the bag to burst open. I ended up chasing runaway grapes across the tarmac, but it's only when a car of strangers started cheering me on that I took the L, gave up the fight, and went back to buy more, but the remaining stock was moldy and shit. FML

agreeclassic 320

vote type 1 90

Such a player

By Anonymous - 08/10/2025 12:00

Today, I learned that my long term/long distance (two hours away) boyfriend has had not one, but two regular "girlfriends" closer to his home. He'd told them that we broke up while still coming to visit me weekly. He did stop coming by a few months ago because "work was crazy" but that didn't stop him from sending "pics" though. FML

agreeclassic 350

vote type 1 84

The Times They Are A-Changin'

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 22:00

Today, after my dad always telling me that if I went to college then one day I could have a big house, a nice car, a hot wife, and two great kids, the joke's on you Dad. I have a Master's degree and can't afford rent, can’t afford driving lessons, and am single. Also, I've not eaten in two days, because I can’t afford food FML

agreeclassic 471

vote type 1 119

Scary stuff

By Sam - 01/11/2025 09:00

Today, on Halloween, I received an award for my progress at my drug rehab clinic. I told my mom we should celebrate by going out to eat. Her response? "I got you a turkey sandwich from the hospital cafeteria." Thanks Mom. FML

agreeclassic 340

vote type 1 134

Kids pick up stuff you say

By Embarrassed mom - 06/11/2025 15:00

Today, after a long, tedious and annoying wait in line at the supermarket, my 5-year-old told the cashier, “Mommy says you’re too slow.” FML

agreeclassic 170

vote type 1 379

Thanks, asshole

By God dammit - 06/12/2025 20:00

Today, the new guy at my workplace was on his phone so much that he has become solely responsible for a new rule: no one is allowed to have their phone on their person, except on breaks. So, I guess that if my severely disabled mom ever has an emergency at home, she'll have to fend for herself. FML

agreeclassic 358

vote type 1 74

I hate my life

By Anonymous - 08/12/2025 15:00

Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML

agreeclassic 167

vote type 1 267

Go go dancer

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was dancing in a club when some manager told me to stop messing around and get back on stage or I’m not getting paid. I think he thought I worked for him. I was in jeans and a glittery vest, all the dancers were in booty shorts and bikini tops. What the hell, my guy? FML

agreeclassic 306

vote type 1 74

Yada yada yada

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to look productive in a meeting by nodding along, only to realize too late that I was actually nodding off. When my head dropped forward, it made a loud thud on my desk, and everyone stopped talking at once. FML

agreeclassic 93

vote type 1 370

Nice to see so much of you

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 22:00

Today, I had to prepare a good setup to video chat with my friend in Hong Kong. I was so focused on the right lighting and angle, I didn't pay attention to what was in the background… Until my friend started giggling because she saw my tighty whitey-clad ass in the reflection of the mirror behind me. FML

agreeclassic 85

vote type 1 444

Great first impression

By Gillian from PA - 20/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I wore a new shirt to a job interview, feeling confident. Halfway through, I realized that my shirt had a huge ketchup stain on the shoulder from lunch. The hiring manager noticed and asked me, “What happened there?” I froze and muttered, "I’m just… really passionate about burgers." FML

agreeclassic 357

vote type 1 211

Get me out of here!

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 05:00 - Saudi Arabia - Khobar

Today, my family is very toxic and they become more toxic every day. The real FML is that I can't do anything about it or leave, so I have to wait until I have enough money to leave. So, until that faraway dream becomes true, FML

agreeclassic 410

vote type 1 116

The spark is gone

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 14:00 - United States - Orange Park

Today, my husband of 16 years had to force himself to be intimate with me. In his words, not because he’s not attracted to me but because he no longer has emotions or feelings towards me. I’m still deeply in love and had to force intimacy because now I feel like I’m just a means to an end. FML

agreeclassic 448

vote type 1 138

The great escape

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was reading on my couch when I noticed my cat trying to escape out of an open window. I leapt up to stop her, but in my panic, I tripped over a coffee table leg, slammed my face into a wall, and knocked over a guitar. My cat, meanwhile, just sauntered down, and went off to the kitchen. FML

agreeclassic 229

vote type 1 318

**** me, I guess!

By Onionallergy - 09/03/2025 07:00 - Canada

Today, one of my clients fired me from my cleaning job, all because I had to cancel last minute after I had to drive myself to the hospital with a severe allergic reaction. She screamed at me until I hung up on her. She's my aunt and godmother. FML

agreeclassic 562

vote type 1 78

It's about control

By i hate it here - 03/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after three years of letting everyone work remotely and do our thing, my company suddenly demanded everyone return to the office. Now I get sit in traffic for two hours every day just to join Zoom calls from a cubicle. FML

agreeclassic 505

vote type 1 113

Go vegan for the economy

By Anonymous - 21/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I argued with my roommate about which eggs to buy: organic, pasture-raised, free-range, or AI-verified climate-positive. We settled on whatever was cheapest. They were $9. FML

agreeclassic 178

vote type 1 360

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 24/04/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my insane mother doesn’t want me getting a job to afford to move out and never see her again, she put my suit in the freezer last night so I couldn’t go to my 9 a.m. interview. I went in a t-shirt instead and they rejected me straight away for not "taking the interview seriously." FML

agreeclassic 578

vote type 1 78

I ain't no hollaback girl

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML

agreeclassic 376

vote type 1 230

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my brother had texted me, asking, "Why did you take Mom's chocolate? That's pathetic." I proceeded to swear on my own life that I didn't, but directly after that he sent me a picture of the wrapper in my room. FML

agreeclassic 112

vote type 1 1 311

Today, the mentally-challenged teen who sometimes comes into my restaurant gave me a hug as usual. I thought it was sweet, until a coworker let me know he immediately goes and jacks off in the bathroom after. FML

agreeclassic 22 036

vote type 1 1 643

Today, I received a full scholarship to the university of my dreams in England. Being born into a fairly poor family, I've never received anything for free and I worked on my grades like a dog last semester to achieve this. However, the scholarship is only valid if the UK stays in the EU. FML

agreeclassic 2 595

vote type 1 215

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

agreeclassic 61 704

vote type 1 6 648

Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML

agreeclassic 26 287

vote type 1 2 374

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "He died" and walked off. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She then reminded me that I was at his funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

agreeclassic 24 164

vote type 1 69 611