By Wrongdoor - 06/12/2009 14:58 - United States
The Top
No good deed
By mjperfetti84 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
Oh, hi y'all!
By JC. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By BabsZilla - 05/09/2016 00:21 - United States - King City
BabsZilla tells us more.
Gone bird
By Whoops - 06/06/2011 01:44 - United States
By gracehi - 07/03/2014 20:29 - United States - Jacksonville
gracehi tells us more.
Thank you, but I wasn't brave. There's a tall picket fence and some trees obscuring the view of my apartment from the school. I can only see the school parking lot because I'm on the second story. The only reason someone would be able to see me from there would be if they were looking for me. I would have been quite safe, even if there had been any real danger. If there really was some lunatic shooting up the school, at the very least I would have called the cops. I'd like to think I would also grab my gun, head over there, and try to shoot the mother ****** myself, but you never really know what you'll do in a situation like that until it happens.
By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 04:09
By MdMan2 - 04/06/2015 02:14 - United States - West Mclean
MdMan2 tells us more.
Good boy
By akasoor - 11/02/2013 01:51 - Canada - Hythe
Moments of wonder
By secret123 - 24/02/2009 11:01 - United States
Sleigh bells
By dude, where's my balls? :( - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Anchorage
By PackardBell - 28/03/2016 03:09 - United States - Vernon Hills
PackardBell_fml tells us more.
Hi, op here. Just want to clarify: The toothbrush is one of those circular, rotating tips. The "spinbrush," I believe. Second, I eventually cleaned out the bristles and got rid of the taste... in the morning. I slept with that taste lingering and it was horrible. This is just meant to clarify some things due to the lack of character space to type.
By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 02:52 - United States
By Anonymous - 22/12/2009 01:48 - United States
Archaeology
By Ugh - 20/09/2011 10:07 - United States
By missingphoneproblems - 22/07/2012 05:04 - United States - Warner Robins
By ishred1111 - 06/11/2015 07:39 - Canada - Vancouver
ishred1111 tells us more.
Thanks for all the funny comments! They made me feel better when I'm not actually feeling that great, considering what my boyfriend turned out to be like.... Speaking of which, I totally agree with most of you. Yes, I hung up on him and no, I did not bail him out. I think his sister did in the end. His fate and what he actually did to get arrested are unknown to me, honestly I just knew we were done the second he finished the song and then said 'so, babe, can you bail me out?' Never thought he could be like this. Very disappointed in him. But still thoroughly impressed at his singing (he recited it perfectly). :) thanks guys!!
By Anonymous - 16/08/2014 04:30 - United States - Olney
By thenewone - 19/11/2009 20:09 - Brazil
By Oops - 02/11/2009 01:43 - United States
Baller move
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Tucson
By trafficfail - 01/06/2011 16:43
Exposure
By Anonymous - 14/02/2012 05:24 - United States
Freudian slip
By someonevexed - 01/02/2009 19:01 - Germany
By whatever - 09/08/2009 20:12 - United States
By fml - 21/02/2015 02:54 - United States - Denver
By Xandriajoy10 - 08/03/2016 11:56 - Australia
By embarrassedmom - 31/08/2013 23:48 - United States
By whattheactualfuck - 22/01/2016 12:50 - South Africa - Durban
Keywords
OP Here. To answer some questions and lay down some facts. My housemate and I lived with my parents for a long time until I turned 18, then we had a house all lined up, and we moved out together about 15 minutes away. Not far, I am still in High School, and I wanted to remain close to my parents. I am of legal age here in Cali, and we are "careful" (Meaning we have safe sex with the pull-out method and birth control) My parents came into our house with the spare key I gave my mother for EMERGENCIES and planted 28 nanny-cams EVERYWHERE! We had to go through every piece of furniture and decor that we have to find them all. She called me literally 5 minutes after we finished having our "fun" to tell me she was watching me. I love my mum, but if this was to "protect" me, that's taking it too far. Thanks for commenting. Needless to say, we only have sex in the bedroom now...