Intimacy: Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly...

By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 05:19 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 5 637

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Same thing different taste

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 411

You deserved it 3 208

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 210

You deserved it 8 680

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 860

You deserved it 6 357

Get on with it

By KaRaSu - 22/11/2008 12:24 - France

Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 955

You deserved it 7 122

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 233

You deserved it 10 887

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 20:12 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 692

You deserved it 8 176

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 467

You deserved it 7 546

By Anonymous - 17/01/2011 01:28 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 147

You deserved it 7 037

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 167

You deserved it 13 433

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 326

You deserved it 29 275

mahade 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 13:12

I signed up especially to leave this comment: MARRY THAT GIRL!

SlightlyGPirate 0

Wednesday 16 September 2009 12:12

hahahahhahaaha damn that sucks, butt that just made my day xD

Comments

KiwiGrimm 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 3:00

ROFLMAO!!! Best gf ever!!! Not an FML You shouldve danced with her and then ****** afterwards

Liriiaell 0

Saturday 19 September 2009 3:32

This would be so totally epic if it wasn't so fake.

Jefferson207 3

Saturday 19 September 2009 19:00

ah. She's weird.

dance_till_dawn 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 8:15

Dude. it's hilarious! Laugh-like those of us with a sense of humor do.

veliki 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 11:40

i lol'd

ummmmno 0

Sunday 20 September 2009 17:45

hahahahahahahahaha...she's amazing, and my hero...

VegHead13 0

Monday 21 September 2009 0:02

That SO shud be on MLIA(u know, on the girl's side)

christahasheart 0

Monday 21 September 2009 3:49

lmao! she is my new hero :p yew have to admit that is freakin halerious!

lunadragongirl 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 6:18

that was the fucken funniest thing ive seen on here yet

fucking_shit_fml 0

Tuesday 22 September 2009 7:46

AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! hilarious!! too awesome.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my workplace on Tuesday. To myself. For my birthday. Because even though birthdays are posted in the monthly newsletter, mine gets left out every year. For the past four years. FML

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Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 755

You deserved it 3 427

Today, my daughter said she wanted to be vegetarian like me. Beaming with pride, I made her plant-based burgers for dinner. She took one bite, screamed, "EW!" and started crying and begging for beef burgers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 442

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 246

You deserved it 3 591