Intimacy: Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up...

By WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 764

You deserved it 5 887

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Same thing different taste

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 624

You deserved it 4 986

By Anonymous - 04/01/2016 06:59 - United States - Atwater

Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him, causing him to freak out, thinking I was going for his butt, ending the night with a black eye from being knee'd in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 636

You deserved it 2 709

Romantic gestures

By Anonymous - 11/06/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 173

You deserved it 4 488

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 013

You deserved it 4 481

By Anonymous - 27/02/2016 07:27 - Japan - Ageo

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 818

You deserved it 5 509

By tara22 - 27/04/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 206

You deserved it 6 309

By Anonymous - 22/01/2012 18:06 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. When I leaned in on him, he fell over backwards and smashed his head against the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 640

You deserved it 4 104

Like in the movies

By alltern8ive - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 647

You deserved it 5 165

Major romcom vibes

By staciedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 600

You deserved it 5 037

Passionate

By Anonymous - 09/10/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 483

Danny_Boy12 13

Thursday 31 July 2014 1:32

Atleast he tried....

Secret_Ninjaa 35

Thursday 31 July 2014 1:33

Well.. I mean.. It could've been worse..?

Comments

CurlyQute 17

Thursday 31 July 2014 2:30

Well at least he tried...

aliceanon 13

Thursday 31 July 2014 2:30

its the thought that counts?

ItCouldBeHerpies 12

Thursday 31 July 2014 2:44

That is the opposite of a problem

KennyJF7 14

Thursday 31 July 2014 3:02

At least he's trying to be romantic

the_real_dvd 21

Thursday 31 July 2014 3:02

This is why it's nice that my wife is tiny. Makes these moves easy, and in the end, actually more fun and less dangerous.

LisaDay 14

Friday 1 August 2014 5:50

even if it didnt work, at least he tried. sometimes failing thesr makes makes it more romantic.

TerraShadow 18

Thursday 31 July 2014 3:05

Total fail but A for effort

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 31 July 2014 3:09

I broke my couch doing this

UmmOkThen 31

Thursday 31 July 2014 3:25

Ouch, mood killed.

Epiccake 15

Thursday 31 July 2014 3:27

So romantic...

bravesgirl55 11

Thursday 31 July 2014 3:32

I love trying those ideas that seem so great on movies! Sadly, very few turn out well realistically.

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The Top

Today, I learned my husband was told to isolate for 10 days but hid it from me and pretended to go to work every day, then snuck back home after I left to take the kids to daycare, and has basically had a chore and child-free holiday, playing Xbox every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 262

Today, I was babysitting, and the family dog was unable to move, so I had texted the mother about it. We put the small dog on the couch to make it comfortable while the mother was on her way to get the dog and take it to the vet. Turns out, we sat with a dead dog for about ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 1 293

Today, I found out that my mom bet my dad $100 that she could pay my boyfriend ten bucks to break up with me. She is now $90 richer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 819

You deserved it 3 698

Today, I was leaving work after a storm. They're building some new offices outside, so I had to walk on an uneven path near the construction zone. I came to a big puddle and tried to jump across to what I thought was a piece of asphalt. It was mud. I slipped and fell backwards into the puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 253

You deserved it 790

Today, my boyfriend came up with this thrillingly romantic proposal: “I’m paying way too much income tax. How about we get married?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 436

You deserved it 6 056

Today, I had to cancel a plane ticket to a friend's wedding, because first he gave me the wrong date, after which his fiancée cut me from the guests because of Covid safety. Instead of paying $600 to be in the ceremony, I'm paying $400 to not go anywhere because the ticket could only be partially refunded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 109