Animals: Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with... - FML

By nk - 03/11/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 561

You deserved it 12 056

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Ear Invasion - 26/01/2013 05:53 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 391

You deserved it 3 458

Lonely, so lonely…

By JustAnotherFML23 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 781

You deserved it 7 240

I believe it was I who said…

By unfortunate - 25/04/2012 04:50 - Sweden

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 121

You deserved it 10 488

Cool

By daisythebunny1988 - 21/03/2020 00:01

Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 229

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 769

You deserved it 5 907

Talk to me

By JoseIsAdork - 11/01/2016 18:03 - United States - Somers

Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 353

You deserved it 2 389

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 968

You deserved it 6 327

If the shoe fits…

By Bruce - 17/08/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 718

You deserved it 3 658

By LonelyAF - 12/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 4 367

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 502

You deserved it 2 279

Next

Top comments

SmallTownCutie 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:06

aww it's ok. you're just lonely.

Illyssa_fml 4

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:12

awesome!! are you gonna find a giant peach now? haha

Comments

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Saturday 17 December 2011 3:51

Don't feel bad. I once felt so lonely I got one of those gooey aliens everyone had in the 90's and called it Scarper. I left him in the living room one day and my step dad threw him out. I cried.

panthers555 0

Monday 2 January 2012 11:15

Forever alone.

hhmmllcc 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 21:33

wow seriously??? get a ******* life

husky22 0

Saturday 4 February 2012 17:12

what's his name?

fallenangel1421 15

Monday 6 February 2012 4:35

Aww lol

obri98 10

Monday 13 February 2012 16:19

Awww! That's cute!

ciarakennedy 4

Tuesday 28 February 2012 8:28

Is it Jeremy?

dmadsen33 9

Friday 16 March 2012 11:07

Aw, no worries.! it'll pass you're just lonely. I bet the criket wanted someone to talk to, too. You know, about his one leg or whatever. :)

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Tuesday 10 April 2012 4:48

things12345 14

Friday 13 April 2012 16:35

Jim-one-knee Cricket

9
10
11
12
13
14

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substitution cipher, using literary references. As they're both literature professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 083

You deserved it 2 553

Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 201

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 605

You deserved it 8 318

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 811

You deserved it 5 937

Today, I got new AirPods. As I was sitting on the toilet, they fell out of my hoodie pocket into the toilet while it was flushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 975

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 685

You deserved it 124 378