Animals: Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with... - FML

By nk - 03/11/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 561

You deserved it 12 056

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Same thing different taste

By Ear Invasion - 26/01/2013 05:53 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 391

You deserved it 3 458

Lonely, so lonely…

By JustAnotherFML23 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 781

You deserved it 7 240

I believe it was I who said…

By unfortunate - 25/04/2012 04:50 - Sweden

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 121

You deserved it 10 488

Cool

By daisythebunny1988 - 21/03/2020 00:01

Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 229

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 769

You deserved it 5 907

Talk to me

By JoseIsAdork - 11/01/2016 18:03 - United States - Somers

Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 353

You deserved it 2 389

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 968

You deserved it 6 327

If the shoe fits…

By Bruce - 17/08/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 718

You deserved it 3 658

By LonelyAF - 12/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 414

You deserved it 4 367

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 502

You deserved it 2 279

Next

Top comments

SmallTownCutie 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:06

aww it's ok. you're just lonely.

Illyssa_fml 4

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:12

awesome!! are you gonna find a giant peach now? haha

Comments

bella789 8

Wednesday 19 January 2011 16:17

aww that's kinda sad. for sure not something I would do. 1 because I have friends, 2. because I'm scared of crickets (: but good luck with your poor life.

manatees_r_epic 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 4:13

What's his name? When he dies you can get a Kleenex and match-box for a casket, and bury it in a cemetery.... Great, I'm even lonelier that you....

bella789 8

Monday 14 March 2011 5:47

waoh:) your from Oakland!. i go there ALOT (: hah

BrassKnucklez69 0

Friday 25 March 2011 7:28

awhh wtff dude seriously geta lifee

fruitloop1221 1

Wednesday 27 April 2011 5:14

I would kill to have that much free time.

redmnky21 8

Tuesday 7 June 2011 10:20

does he have restless leg syndrome?

Bridget615 0

Friday 29 July 2011 4:54

Everyone quick! Join the new official organization i just made up. Its called the STCF (save the cricket foundation) only you could prevent the needless death of one of earths beautiful noisy creatures!

KoochieMcSnatch 0

Monday 26 September 2011 7:21

Lol really?

effyoubitch 5

Tuesday 27 September 2011 7:54

Dude. Get a ******* dog or something and shut the **** up.

Ever123 0

Tuesday 22 November 2011 7:35

What's his name?

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Today, my high school sweetheart and husband of 20 years sent me a text, saying, "You will notice I'm no longer living at home. I moved in with my parents while you were making dinner tonight. There's no one else. I'm just over the being married & stuff." Twenty years and dumped / divorced via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 152

Today, I overheard my dad's friend complaining to my dad that his new baby boy is a ginger. I continued listening, and heard my dad saying, "Yeah, there's nothing worse than having a ginger." I'm his daughter. I'm a ginger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 813

You deserved it 7 081

Today, I found out why my now ex-boyfriend abruptly dumped me out of nowhere. Turns out his friend separated from her husband, and apparently, “the opportunity is too good to pass up.” We’ve been together for 5 years, and have a kid together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 096

You deserved it 200

Today, I got screamed and honked at by a driver who felt I was in the way of his turn. I was on foot, and on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 933

You deserved it 950

Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 404

You deserved it 6 126

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 111