Health: Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste...

By lol - 06/12/2009 14:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 800

You deserved it 4 020

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Same thing different taste

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 143

You deserved it 404

Yippee!

By Such a rush - 27/09/2025 15:00

Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 123

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 571

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 701

You deserved it 13 859

By kewlio45 - 01/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 018

You deserved it 6 335

Take your time

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 288

By Anon - 17/02/2012 20:43 - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 608

You deserved it 2 097

By Walter_Sobchak7 - 12/08/2017 01:30

Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 345

By anon - 27/03/2015 20:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 951

You deserved it 4 788

By Anonymous - 07/02/2012 12:04 - United States

Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 213

You deserved it 6 905

lwdjaymac 1

Sunday 6 December 2009 19:53

Use your other eye :)

donteatglue1 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 19:55

Then how are you writing this?

Comments

SexyBitch919 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 21:07

no you didnt retard...you are dumb HannahMae!

SexyBitch919 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 21:09

whats FYL?

SexyBitch919 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 21:11

if that was true she probly tryped it after she culd see how do u think she knows how long it took!

jane99 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 21:21

I sneezed while reading this.

ItsAlexFool 0

Monday 7 December 2009 2:19

...In case you didn't notice, all of the posts have to start with "Today..."

redshortsx 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 21:27

this is fake. toothpaste wouldn't do that plus how did it get in by sneezing. you close your eyes when you sneeze

Voids 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 21:52

Lol, lethal toothpaste. Try using better aim next time.

dontizzle 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 22:02

i agree with number 22 - when u sneeze ur eyes close, dipswitch

Vayerman 4

Sunday 6 December 2009 22:26

You're from UK. I didn't know people from the United Kingdom has computers. Small world.

FerrariCake 2

Sunday 6 December 2009 22:33

Rinse it out? duh?

xxmadicxx 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 22:57

mkay wow.so how did u get on?

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Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 524

You deserved it 4 136

Today, my roommate read an article about unplugging appliances to save on electricity. Too bad the fucking moron also unplugged the fridge. We came home to a corpse-like stench and a fridge full of moldy food. We were gone for two weeks while the sludge marinated in the California heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 305

You deserved it 216

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 672

You deserved it 3 059

Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 906

You deserved it 3 404

Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 320

You deserved it 3 021

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a fingerstick in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year-old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to, "Watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The kid fainted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 947

You deserved it 9 768

Same thing different taste

Yippee!

Ouch

Take your time

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