Love Lazy ass

Lazy ass

crizzy - - United States

Today, I dislocated my arm while trying to escape from underneath a flipped over kayak. Who saved me? My two brothers-in-law. Who didn't? My husband, because his "feet were hurting." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Nature is healing

KeysToHappiness - 16/08/2015 12:39 - United States - Roseville

Today, I was kayaking with my family for my birthday when we tipped over while going down a rocky cascade. My husband badly cut up his arm, and my car keys and my phone both went for a swim and never returned. Great birthday. FML

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Daddy - 02/06/2016 08:04 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML

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mytoehurts - 26/06/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

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Anonymous - 06/11/2010 11:45 - Australia

Today, my brother flicked a huge bug onto my foot, making me freak out and fall into my outdoors pool. The water was so cold that I started hyperventilating. My brother left to "get help". I finally managed to get out, and found him watching TV. FML

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Kinda sus, dude

Owie - 14/06/2023 12:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML

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Pirate move

Anonymous -

Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML

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wintersoldier - 14/07/2015 02:36 - Austria

Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML

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letmediealready - 22/12/2017 19:00

Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML

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Rellies - 02/05/2019 02:00

Today, my husband is finally fully recovered from getting decompression sickness during our scuba diving vacation. Today is also the day I snapped my femur in half while skiing. FML

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Saved!

No good deed... - 29/01/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was in the kitchen with my mom, who is severely disabled and can barely walk. She suddenly slipped on a puddle of water, so I instinctively grappled her from behind to save her. It took me a moment to realize my hands were accidentally cupping her breasts. She then slipped again and took both of us down. FML

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Henningdale 5

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:17

Looks like u chose the wrong one..

AKALurch 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 9:09

at least u were saved 

YacL 15

Sunday 24 April 2011 18:25

from the comments given I'm not sure you guys understand why she's upset and if you do your not putting you self in her position. I mean I would be pretty upset if my husband wouldn't save me "because his feet were hurting" and instead my brother in laws did

jmayinc 3

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:45

I'm not sure you understand that no excuse is an acceptable excuse for your spouse not to at least attempt to save your life.

smashitsouop 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 18:36

something very very similar happened to me 2 weeks ago

hahawowdude 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 19:07

Somehow i think divorce is coming up soon for them...

butterbear98 3

Sunday 24 April 2011 20:32

are his brothers married?

elusivemuffin 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:11

This sounds like my boyfriend. Another good reason not to marry him.

lol_ironic_life 9

Tuesday 26 April 2011 21:19

He should be your exboyfriend! :)

cldean24 4

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:31

Oh my boyfriend would be in so much trouble for this. He would not be happy to be alive for a few weeks :)

Xmarshall16X 5

Sunday 24 April 2011 21:52

YDI for complaining about ur life being saved. Think about it: im sure ur husband wouldve saved u if he was the only one there. There were 2 other able-bodied men that werent in pain to do it for him, so he left it up to them.