Today, I dropped my hair straightener. The good news is I caught it. The bad news is I caught it by the iron itself. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML
Today, I witnessed a hit-and-run. I used my phone to write down the license plate for the police. However, I didn't notice that my phone had autocorrected the number. FML
Today, I confidently told a coworker that the “surprise meeting” was obviously a birthday celebration for our boss. I even brought cupcakes. Turns out, it was a serious budget discussion. My boss stared at the cupcakes like I was making fun of him. FML
Today, I told my new boss to wish his daughter a happy birthday on my behalf, as I overheard him saying it was today. Turns out she committed suicide three years ago. FML
Today, the gift my mother had mailed me for my birthday finally arrived. It was a gift card for Starbucks. A gift card that had already been redeemed. FML
Snapp...that hurts. 27... pull up your pants.
I agree her pants looks like they belong to her little sister