Miscellaneous

By Anonymous - 29/05/2010 13:16 - Malaysia

Today, someone switched my hairspray with bug spray when I didn't notice. I used it. FML

agreeclassic 27 003

vote type 1 6 550

By crashingdown - 29/05/2010 05:28 - Australia

Today, I had a weird dream I woke up on the bathroom floor at my local gym. Turns out it wasn't a dream, and I passed out from "overworking myself". I was on the treadmill for under 5 minutes, walking. FML

agreeclassic 29 101

vote type 1 14 597

By crazygirl10 - 28/05/2010 20:37 - United States

Today, both my parents were at work so I was home alone. My boyfriend had wanted to surprise me and take me out to lunch. He found me dancing on my kitchen table singing "Like a Virgin" at the top of my lungs. FML

agreeclassic 12 546

vote type 1 33 144

By gahdamnit - 28/05/2010 13:18 - Australia

Today, I tested the new taps in the shower, with my head. Yep, they're strong enough. FML

agreeclassic 10 626

vote type 1 25 836

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

agreeclassic 30 335

vote type 1 4 967

By reginaphalange - 27/05/2010 14:06 - Australia

Today, I found out that my best friend was having a birthday party and I wasn't invited. I had just finished planning a surprise party for her. FML

agreeclassic 44 860

vote type 1 3 336

By noraidk - 26/05/2010 18:35 - United States

Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML

agreeclassic 12 799

vote type 1 41 880

By Anonymous - 26/05/2010 18:03 - Canada

Today, I went into a music store to look into getting a new guitar. I picked up one that I was interested in and tried it out quietly. A sales representative approached me and asked me to "stop the noise and leave the guitars for serious customers." I've been playing for almost ten years. FML

agreeclassic 37 861

vote type 1 6 028

By AdamFoundHisEve - 25/05/2010 19:08 - France

Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML

agreeclassic 29 698

vote type 1 7 610

By Laptop - 25/05/2010 04:44 - France

Today, my little sister tripped when trying to walk up the stairs with a sandwich in one hand and my laptop in the other. She choose to save her sandwich instead of my £500 laptop. FML

agreeclassic 31 738

vote type 1 3 737

By THANKS4theINFO - 23/05/2010 23:15 - United States

Today, I was watching a movie at my girlfriend's house with her and her parents. There was a part where a brother and sister kissed, so I said "where'd they come from, Alabama?" Today is also the day I found out my girlfriend's parents are from Alabama. FML

agreeclassic 13 941

vote type 1 38 748

By *sigh* - 23/05/2010 01:24 - United States

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

agreeclassic 31 900

vote type 1 3 553

By Jlipka - 22/05/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

agreeclassic 31 866

vote type 1 5 608

By Samuel - 21/05/2010 19:12 - Canada

Today, I woke up to find my power was out. After taking a shower in the dark and being unable to make myself lunch, my power came on two minutes before I had to leave for school. FML

agreeclassic 29 349

vote type 1 3 999

By Anonymous - 21/05/2010 12:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML

agreeclassic 34 459

vote type 1 4 572

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

agreeclassic 41 016

vote type 1 7 616

By Candy - 20/05/2010 12:37 - United States

Today, my mom bought me some expensive Japanese candy. I opened it, and saw that each chewy candy was wrapped in a thin, hard to peel off wrapper. After trying to get each wrapper off, I determined they were unopen-able and threw them away. I then read the box, saying the wrappers were edible. FML

agreeclassic 8 361

vote type 1 56 641

By phukt - 19/05/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

agreeclassic 20 184

vote type 1 30 585

By Zapped - 17/05/2010 11:09 - United States

Today, I learned that, since getting my tongue ring, it has become imprudent to test 9-volt batteries with my tongue. FML

agreeclassic 6 873

vote type 1 46 400

By sheridan.ashley - 15/05/2010 06:27 - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

agreeclassic 34 048

vote type 1 3 521

By Anonymous - 14/05/2010 23:19 - Canada

Today, I tripped in front of my graduation class of 225 and all of their relatives while receiving my diploma. FML

agreeclassic 30 542

vote type 1 4 853

By fothermuckerrr - 14/05/2010 04:07 - United States

Today, my best friend told me that she is only my friend because she is prettier than me and being my friend boost her confidence. FML

agreeclassic 34 080

vote type 1 3 326

By honorstudent - 13/05/2010 02:18 - United States

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

agreeclassic 27 238

vote type 1 8 260

By Koubz - 19/04/2010 12:07 - Egypt

Today, I felt the urge to sneeze, so out of instinct I looked away from the computer and sneezed to my left. The rotating fan was blowing at my direction at that moment, so I just sneezed on my own face. FML

agreeclassic 29 893

vote type 1 13 487

Koubz app_comment_confession_title

Koubz 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 0:46

Guys, I only posted this to make people laugh. My life does not suck, nor did that ruin my day at all. Anyway i have allergies, and it was like 35 degrees celsius that day. I DID have tissues on my desk (I think) but by instinct, when i don't have tissues i sneeze away from whoever i'm talking to (usually towards the ground or the opposite way)

By lonely - 12/04/2010 00:27 - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses were at my door. Normally I don't give them the time of day, but I was so lonely for company, I let them in. FML

agreeclassic 32 082

vote type 1 7 766