Love

Trapped

By Anonymous - 25/09/2022 08:30

Today, I'm realizing the woman I've been in love with for 8 years has become completely disinterested in me. I can't even connect on a basic, "How was your day?" level without her her zoning out or getting lost in her phone, only to apologize when I say something and then not even ask what I had to say. We have 2 kids now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 186

A right bunch of berks

By Anonymous - 25/09/2022 02:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I met my boyfriend's family. He calls his parents things like “geriatric hag” and “old clown”. I was about to yell at him, but they started calling him “nancy boy” and “nerd”. Apparently they love each other, but only communicate through abuse. I can’t believe I may soon marry into this mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 1 307

Useful idiot

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 090

You deserved it 4 537

Couch fights!

By Butters - 24/09/2022 16:00 - Australia - Lathlain

Today, it's my wedding day. I broke a toe on the couch while turning on the lights in the hotel room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 127

That's kind of a big issue

By Anonymous - 24/09/2022 02:30

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years, who I love with every fiber in my body, just told me that he's not attracted to me. Not in any way, shape, or form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 199

You deserved it 139

Love is blind

By Blinded - 23/09/2022 02:30 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I finally figured out who my girlfriend reminds me of when she wears her glasses: the character Newman from Seinfeld. I can't unsee it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 189

Thanks but no thanks

By nu_ravers_101 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went surfing. One of my instructors came up to me and told me that the other, good looking, instructor didn't have a girlfriend. Who then turned around and said, "I do if you are trying to set me up with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 024

You deserved it 4 178

Anyone can be a 7 if you try hard enough

By Anonymous - 23/09/2022 04:00

Today, I had a very nice, long, and pleasant dream about having a girlfriend for the first time since 2010, and then I woke up. I'm right about myself, I'm going to be single for the rest of my life, and there's no point in trying to change that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 275

Kinda sus, dude

By Meg - 22/09/2022 10:30

Today, I asked my husband to borrow his phone, since mine had died. His response was, “Well, you have a charger, use it.” When I reminded him that we weren’t at home, he screamed at me in front of everyone at the store, “I’m not letting you go through my phone and that’s final!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 205

Who is this mystery person?

By DarthPanda21 - 21/09/2022 23:30

Today, it seems that my punishment in life is having to live and sleep 5 feet away from the girl I've loved since the 6th grade (I'm 37 now), and rather than tell her this, I'd rather just preserve our friendship and suffer in silence. I'd even venture to say it's a reason for my failed marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 1 541

She's a keeper

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 14:00 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, my wife of 8 years has been cheating on me for 5 of those years, making fun of me with her family that I don't have a social life outside of her and my 3 kids. I'm waiting to get my spinal fusion completed, so I'm a stay-at-home who that can't do much and have no other options, including no one to talk to about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 130

The inner light

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 15:00 - United Kingdom - Aldershot

Today, I asked my husband if we could rekindle some of our old intimacy, get back in touch with each other’s inner selves, that sort of thing. He looked confused, then got a big smile and said, “You mean we can do anal again? Why didn’t you just say so?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 635

Yeeted it

By Anonymous - 21/09/2022 02:30 - Canada - Brampton

Today, two weeks after my wife of 3 years caught me screwing her sister in our bed, and she disappeared to her mom’s and refused to take my calls, she came home to get her stuff. Apparently on the night I cheated, she was about to tell me she was 6 weeks pregnant with my baby. She left for the two weeks to get an abortion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 4 576

Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

By TiredOfItAll - 21/09/2022 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I spent months trying to show a woman we can be besties, because she thought I only wanted sex (which I totally don't), we've talked every day, texted, shared videos, ect. Now she has a boyfriend and doesn't have time for friends, let alone a bestie. I should've never tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 562

Denial

By Isabella - 20/09/2022 22:30

Today, I'm 9 months pregnant and the father of my child has suddenly decided that the child I've carried for 9 months isn't his, and that it was "too late" to try and fix our relationship. He's the only man who could be the father, he's just finding every excuse to say, "Sorry, but no thank you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 197

Temptation

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 15:00

Today, a woman I work with asked me out. She is smart, funny, beyond gorgeous, and I’d be a fool to say no. Unfortunately, she has done jail time for smashing her last boyfriend's penis with a bat and he lost a testicle. What do I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 323

Don't tempt me

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 06:30 - United Kingdom - Aberdare

Today, I made the mistake of telling my boyfriend I was taking my kids to my mother's until he has decided if he wants to carry on being a boyfriend and stepfather. While we were gone, he apparently realised how good his life could be without us, and dumped me. I fucked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 1 551

LOL

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text, saying, "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 969

You deserved it 4 479

Never enough

By Anonymous - 20/09/2022 00:01

Today, I spent all day doing chores around the house, including mowing and raking the lawn, paying bills, going to the store, meal prepping, and cleaning the fridge. When I sat down to enjoy some well-earned games, my girlfriend sighed and asked if I ever planned to contribute anything to our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 164

Now you know

By FuckfaceSteve - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Chester-le-street

Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 317

You deserved it 4 578

Wild mood swings

By Anonymous - 19/09/2022 00:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, once again, my partner is screaming at me for something that I have done and, as usual, she won't tell what it was, only that, "You know what you did," and, as usual, I have no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 198

You must conform

By Anonymous - 18/09/2022 13:00

Today, my bestie had me kicked out of her wedding the day of. All because I altered my bridesmaid's dress without telling her. She knows I hate fabric against my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 2 335

Chill out, Dad

By Charlie - 18/09/2022 10:30

Today, I spent $400 on concert tickets just to hear, “I’d fuck the lead singer” for three hours leading up to the concert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 263

Seems reasonable

By Anonymous - 17/09/2022 22:00

Today, my new girlfriend tried to get me to quit being a gynaecologist because she says touching vaginas all day is low-key cheating on her. Lady, it took years of training to get this job, which I take very seriously, and we’ve only been on 4 dates. Between my career and you, I ain’t gonna choose you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 143

Written in ink made from tears

By Popoi - 17/09/2022 11:00 - United States - Rochester

Today, I found out my fiancé has been cheating on me for the past six months. I have a final tomorrow and have been busy crying, so guess I'll just have to fail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 173

You deserved it 231

No Columbo

By Anonymous - 17/09/2022 09:30

Today, as my wife loves games, she set me a series of clues leading to our date night, where she's waiting for me. WHY? She knows how bad a problem solver I am. By the time she realised I was going to be hopelessly late, and answered my 50 missed calls, I’d only solved the first 2 clues out of 18 total. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 224

Not a great start

By Durrrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I went to a "party" with the boy whom I'm interested in. It was the first time I met his friends. Turns out he and all his friends are hardcore Christians who don't drink and are celibate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 739

You deserved it 11 965

A real pro

By weddingplannerlyfe - 16/09/2022 21:00

Today, I had the wedding from hell. Nope, not a bridezilla, but a makeup artist-zilla who caused the ceremony to begin over an hour and a half late, and then tried to charge the bride for her delays. She then went nuts when confronted with the reality of her poor time management. “Professional” my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 111

Slightly homophobic, but OK

By Reissa - 16/09/2022 07:30 - Canada

Today, I realized people think my boyfriend is gay because he loves romantic movies, gardening, shoe shopping, reading magazines, and bathing by himself in candlelight. After him asking me to cuddle and me to be the "big spoon," I'm starting to question it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 1 497

Buddy Rich is not dead

By DrumrollPlease - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - London

Today, my father informed me that he plans to play a drum solo instead of making a speech at my wedding. And yes, he IS completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 728

You deserved it 2 169

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 899

You deserved it 10 341

Today, I graduated with my Bachelor's degree. The excitement didn't last too long because I broke my elbow by tripping over a stick at my graduation dinner. Definitely not intoxicated, just clumsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 175

Today, my boyfriend of one week kissed my stomach and began speaking to our "baby." We haven't had sex yet. In fact, I'm still a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 144

Today, my date told me that he, his parents, and grandparents, believe that all doctors, but especially dentists, are nothing but drug-pushing crooks, and therefore completely unnecessary. Oh and the fact that they’ve all lost their teeth is “genetic” and has nothing to do with their hygiene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 86

Today, I had to remove a splinter from one of my roommates. This would have been better if the splinter wasn't deeply lodged in their asscheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 797

You deserved it 398

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 102

You deserved it 64 073