Love

By chao - 22/12/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 261

You deserved it 3 870

By anonymous - 21/12/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to give me my Christmas present early because he's going to his grandparents' house for Christmas and won't see me. I was excited, until I unwrapped a sweater that I left there a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 261

You deserved it 3 001

By Agata - 21/12/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years announced that he is not ready for marriage, and won’t be for 'at least' another 2 years. Of course he waited to tell me this 2 days after he had proposed to me in front of hundreds of people, I said yes, and we announced it to all our family members and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 266

You deserved it 2 892

By michelleccali - 21/12/2009 10:32 - United States

Today, it was our 6 month anniversary. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present or take me out to dinner. Instead he cried to me about how much he hates his life while he repeatedly punched himself in the face. Then he dropped me off to spend time with his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 732

You deserved it 9 505

michelleccali tells us more.

michelleccali 0

Monday 21 December 2009 20:41

Ok, yes I am a teenager. The reason I was so upset over him not doing anything for our 6 months together was because he made sure I got him a present, and told me a bunch of times that he was planning something fun. So he got my hopes up for nothing. Then when I got sad about it, he got mad at me and pretty much ignored me.

By Anonymous - 21/12/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our five-year anniversary. I got him a new flat-screen TV. He got me toilet seat cover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 130

You deserved it 4 699

By dayumm_shawtyy - 21/12/2009 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. Instead of taking me home like he told me he was going to, he pulled up to the gas station, gave me $6, and asked me to go pay. As soon as I walked inside, he threw my bag out the door, and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 511

You deserved it 6 825

dayumm_shawtyy tells us more.

dayumm_shawtyy 0

Monday 21 December 2009 17:52

alright. lets get a few things cleared, i never cheated. and he was already my ex boyfriend, we were just trying to work things out. he got pissed off because i told him i was done with his bullshit mind games, and if he couldnt make up his mind i was out of there. he couldnt handle the truth. then thats when the yelling started. the guy turns 19 in 5 days. i think every girl can agree he needs to grow some balls and handle things like a man, not a little kid

By embarrassed - 21/12/2009 00:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 325

You deserved it 29 422

By Surfinbird09 - 20/12/2009 12:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked a girl I liked for her number, but she claimed she had a broken phone and was getting a new one for Christmas. Unhinged, I go home and go onto Facebook. First thing I see is her status: "Why is no one answering my calls?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 778

You deserved it 4 090

Creepy

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 08:47 - Canada

Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently duplicated my keys before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering, “He looks like Jesus.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 445

You deserved it 3 674

By Catholicguy - 20/12/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 346

You deserved it 4 558

By Madagascar - 19/12/2009 10:18 - Australia

Today, when my boyfriend and I were becoming intimate, his cat decides to jump onto the bed and lie right in between us. He then informs me that he wanted to stop to "preserve his cat's innocence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 956

You deserved it 4 910

Classy

By embaressed - 19/12/2009 09:44 - United States

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 860

You deserved it 3 094

By musicyman55 - 19/12/2009 07:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 689

You deserved it 3 061

By Anonymous - 19/12/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 907

You deserved it 11 730

By Poem - 19/12/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 056

You deserved it 26 303

Doing the rounds

By Anonymous - 18/12/2009 20:33 - United States

Today, my best friend admitted to me that he and my girlfriend have been cheating behind my back for the past two months. The reason he finally admitted it? Because she's now cheating on him with another one of our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 193

You deserved it 2 886

By lovesucks - 18/12/2009 20:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised that the most kisses I ever get are in text messages from my Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 021

You deserved it 4 136

By cheaters_should_die - 18/12/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 920

You deserved it 3 014

By paula123 - 18/12/2009 13:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my ex-husband just had a baby with his new partner. We only split up a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 392

You deserved it 2 418

By yoked - 18/12/2009 03:48 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 209

You deserved it 4 647

By Frauded - 17/12/2009 01:42 - United States

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 128

You deserved it 3 035

By cheezmaster - 16/12/2009 23:55 - United States

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 859

You deserved it 2 585

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 613

You deserved it 6 507

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 297

You deserved it 3 763

By eww657 - 16/12/2009 15:43 - United Kingdom

Today, it's the first evening that my husband and I will have without the kids in 8 months. We had been looking forward to it for ages, and my husband had even bought me some lovely new lingerie for the occasion. Guess what? I just got diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 362

You deserved it 3 882

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 12:09 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years confessed that he was sleeping with me and 5 other girls while we first started dating. He told me he numbered us and rolled a die to see which one he would date. I guess I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 681

You deserved it 3 856

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I have been trying to get back together with, texted me. He asked me how life was going, he then asked me if I had the naked picture of him saved on my phone. I asked him why. He replied that he wanted to send it to his crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 189

You deserved it 4 684

By notcool - 15/12/2009 21:49 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 538

You deserved it 8 870

Depth

By Anonymous - 15/12/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 567

You deserved it 4 891

Nice try

By Proof-Reader - 15/12/2009 08:32 - United States

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 429

You deserved it 32 013

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was mistaken for an employee at my grandmother's funeral. There were only twelve of us there, all family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 79

Today, I was pretending to be a veteran for the US Navy at a local outlet, because I was desperate for cheap stuff. All was going well, until an actual vet pointed out that the ship I had on my naval hat was a fictitious one. Shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 3 492

Today, while out jogging, I was suddenly hit with unbelievable gastric distress. I wasn't wearing brown pants when I set out on that jog, but I sure was when I made it back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 050

You deserved it 1 950

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 931

You deserved it 2 979

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 855

You deserved it 4 757

Today, I found out I can't earn a bachelor’s degree towards my dream career because I have previously gone to undergrad. I only went to undergrad because my parents convinced me not to pursue my dream career the first time around. I quit a brutal job to pursue this… but at least I had a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 199