Love

By Olihime - 10/01/2010 18:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 077

You deserved it 44 453

By VAngelique - 10/01/2010 14:48 - United States

Today, I confessed my love to a guy I've been flirting with for months. He then decided to reject me through a poem on Facebook for all of our friends to read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 599

You deserved it 4 144

VAngelique tells us more.

VAngelique 0

Monday 11 January 2010 23:16

Yea I did...

By Anonymous - 09/01/2010 21:26 - United States

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 440

You deserved it 7 714

By dollybabe - 09/01/2010 21:20 - Ireland

Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 693

You deserved it 11 711

By notahomewrecker - 09/01/2010 16:07 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. It was his wife calling to find out what was going on with us. He told me he was separated. He left his kids home alone to hook up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 926

You deserved it 5 039

Plans

By bitchface - 09/01/2010 04:08 - United States

Today, I looked at my father's Facebook for the first time in a month to see a status saying, "Making wedding plans!" Really? When was he planning on telling his own daughter? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 918

You deserved it 3 069

Obsessed

By farmvillefail - 09/01/2010 00:10 - United States

Today, I found out the best way to communicate with my boyfriend, who is obsessed with Farmville, is by placing a "sign post" on his farm. Not sending texts, emails, or calling, but by placing a message on his imaginary farm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 950

You deserved it 4 382

By brokenrelicslost - 08/01/2010 20:06 - United States

Today, I realized that I have completely fallen for this incredible guy, and that I'm really looking forward to where our relationship will take us. He just informed me that he will be doing jail time following his court date on Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 049

You deserved it 5 850

By DDubs - 08/01/2010 03:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I realised that I have fallen for the most amazing girl. She's good looking, has a great personality, she's funny and is a hit with all my friends but she doesn't seem to realise she has a body odor problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 892

You deserved it 6 204

By DeadBroke - 07/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years because I was tired of his childishness and anger, so he decided to send me 540 random text messages of scrambled letters in order to mess up my phone as well, as make me pay 20 cents for each message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 578

You deserved it 5 745

By Anonymous - 07/01/2010 03:17 - United States

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 628

You deserved it 3 582

By drunkdial - 06/01/2010 05:53 - France

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 365

You deserved it 4 621

Wrong place, wrong time

By lug_nut - 06/01/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 476

You deserved it 3 338

By leigh2812 - 05/01/2010 22:03 - France

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 836

You deserved it 14 486

By katiekat - 05/01/2010 20:24 - United States

Today, my ex looked at me for the first time in months. I felt like I could fly. Seconds later my flight ended. I fell down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 969

You deserved it 12 668

By PJ. - 05/01/2010 14:06 - United States

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 520

You deserved it 35 191

By Chewy - 05/01/2010 10:45 - United Kingdom

Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 613

You deserved it 4 280

Question Time

By embarrassed - 03/01/2010 06:53 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my boyfriend's family get together, his cousin got really drunk and decided to ask my boyfriend when he was planning on proposing to me, loud enough for everyone to hear. An awkward silence was followed by my boyfriend's mother, who clearly said, "Hopefully never." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 510

You deserved it 2 818

By garfwebba - 03/01/2010 01:17 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 503

You deserved it 6 638

By Darling_Cherry - 02/01/2010 21:22 - United States

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 178

You deserved it 6 941

By Singleton - 02/01/2010 00:33 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday dinner with my family. Everyone was making an effort to avoid a certain topic. Later my 5 year old cousin gives me a nice hand drawn card of me and my boyfriend. Apparently no one had the heart to tell her my boyfriend had broken up with me on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 171

You deserved it 2 858

By ScrewedOver - 02/01/2010 00:09 - United States

Today, is January 1st. Last night, I threw a party. Only 3 people came. Luckily, one of the people who came was the love of my life, I had been hoping to get a midnight kiss from him. Unluckly, he decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend. At my party. They were liplocked almost the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 303

You deserved it 4 563

By ItSucks - 01/01/2010 05:12 - United States

Today, I was with my boyfriend of two months, hoping this would be our night of the first kiss. I was so excited when the ball started to drop. When it hit "0", I turned to him, hoping for a kiss, and saw him making out with another girl. He didn't even turn around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 846

You deserved it 7 558

Impressive

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 035

You deserved it 5 846

Are straight men OK?

By Unloving - 31/12/2009 21:47 - United States

Today, a man proposed to me in classic style on one knee. Unfortunately, I have been telling this man for the last two months that I don't even want to date him. He thinks I'm playing hard to get and is not giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 209

You deserved it 5 034

Let it all out

By pottypattypeepants - 31/12/2009 20:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 724

You deserved it 19 655

Classic playa move

By lifesux - 31/12/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 486

You deserved it 3 841

By 12345678 - 31/12/2009 08:01 - United States

Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 559

You deserved it 5 712

By Anonymous. - 31/12/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, the guy I've been texting told me he loved me and he couldn't wait to make me his wife, and he couldn't wait for us to have kids and grow old together. I've only known him for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 639

You deserved it 5 024

By Jennyfromdablock - 31/12/2009 03:28 - United States

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 916

You deserved it 36 358

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my computer was hit by something bigger than a virus: a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 672

You deserved it 4 895

Today, I was running late for an important meeting and couldn't find my car keys. After searching around for way too long, I finally realised where they were - in the pocket of the pants I'd worn the day before, which were now spinning around in the now-unstoppable, two-hour washing machine cycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 419

Today, I had my German oral exam. It was going well, until halfway through I did the biggest burp I could have ever imagined. I don't even know how to say sorry in German. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 217

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 890

You deserved it 4 727

Today, I was finally able to get around to a totally free day when I could do some much needed DIY around the house. Before I even started, I cut my hand on a Stanley knife almost to the bone, and had to get 8 stitches. My wife thinks I did it on purpose to get out of doing the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 141

Today, my brother started ranting about how fluoridated water is a conspiracy to "turn people gay". I said the government must be doing a shit job of it, since he's been drinking the stuff longer than I've been alive and is still married to a woman. He punched me so hard, my vision blacked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 739

You deserved it 2 136