Love

By BrokeAndPsst - 12/04/2011 04:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend chose the most expensive restaurant in town, then spent the entire time facebooking, texting, and playing games on her phone while I dined in silence. This is the second time we've been out this week. She didn't even eat her food. I didn't even get a thank you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 224

You deserved it 14 930

By husks - 12/04/2011 04:08

Today, I broke up with my now ex-girlfriend for the 5th time. She still hasn't got the hint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 131

You deserved it 12 444

By drunkluv - 12/04/2011 02:58 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 063

You deserved it 4 191

By sandyhome - 11/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. We drove separately and met at the restaurant. Over the course of two hours she drank a gallon and a half of beer, then her boyfriend picked her up because she was too drunk to drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 794

You deserved it 6 277

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 624

You deserved it 4 986

Blogged up

By Arran - 10/04/2011 00:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 261

You deserved it 32 699

By Tweety - 09/04/2011 11:40 - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 918

You deserved it 8 518

By confused - 09/04/2011 08:08 - United States

Today, I went on a date for the first time in eight months. He didn't make a move. I then asked if we were on a date. He said, "I don't know, I guess." I can't tell either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 790

You deserved it 5 661

By WhatTheBleep - 09/04/2011 04:02 - United States

Today, I found out that my now-ex slept with his not-so-ex the day before our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 488

You deserved it 3 545

By hopeless - 08/04/2011 15:03

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 586

You deserved it 4 003

By Payte - 08/04/2011 05:31

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 642

You deserved it 44 328

So many questions

By Anonymous - 07/04/2011 15:15 - United States

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself, "I wish I had a boyfriend like that…" I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 347

You deserved it 14 341

By Anonymous - 05/04/2011 18:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 888

You deserved it 5 305

By carolinagirl - 04/04/2011 16:23 - United States

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 726

You deserved it 3 592

By lonely - 04/04/2011 10:15 - United Kingdom

Today, I was excited about being set up on a blind date by one of my new co-workers. It turns out the guy she thought would be a "totally perfect match" for me is the ex who cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 724

You deserved it 3 569

By terrible person - 04/04/2011 09:29

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 156

You deserved it 6 002

By Anonymous - 03/04/2011 15:14 - United States

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 762

You deserved it 6 428

By Baldy - 03/04/2011 09:16 - New Zealand

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 630

You deserved it 4 774

Downhill

By worthless - 03/04/2011 00:51 - United States

Today, I was reading my boyfriend's online diary. It started off really sweet, saying he was in a wonderful relationship with me, and how he utterly adored me. It then slowly progressed into loathing and wondering what he ever saw in me, all because I have a low sex-drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 135

You deserved it 19 407

By Jon - 02/04/2011 16:44 - United States

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 242

You deserved it 3 472

By gRRRrr - 01/04/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. We're currently sharing a room on a cruise ship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 643

You deserved it 5 768

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 36 387

By Anonymous - 31/03/2011 21:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 971

You deserved it 5 158

By meohmy - 31/03/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 904

You deserved it 6 024

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 23:53 - United States

Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 529

You deserved it 8 121

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 16:37 - United States

Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 675

You deserved it 9 920

By heartbroken - 30/03/2011 00:15 - United States

Today, I managed to convince the girl of my dreams to stop being so shy, and put herself out there to get her crush to make a move. It worked. And yet as it turns out, I'm not her crush after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 562

You deserved it 13 845

By ouch - 29/03/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 690

You deserved it 16 863

By AFGirlfriend - 28/03/2011 19:10 - United States

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dying to have kids together. This would be an exciting moment if he wasn't deploying in June and will miss everything except the morning sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 092

You deserved it 6 958

By Username - 28/03/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 347

You deserved it 5 472

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I resigned from my dream job with a small company. In the 6 weeks I worked there, a fist-fight occurred, the police were called 4 times, a person was fired for lying on important documents, and I was yelled or heckled for my ideas everyday. Now I'm jobless and worried, but had the first good night's sleep in 6 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 178

Today, a new hire at my workplace, who is already on probation, yelled at me about filing an HR complaint about him. I had customers, who definitely heard. I've never filed a complaint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 97

Today, I've been waiting for a response for a grant application that I need for my salary in January. I applied for it in June. Initially, they said that they would send out answers in November, then changed it to December. Three days before Xmas, I got a rejection. Now I'll be spending my holidays looking for more grants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 115

Today, I had six long hours with the same math teacher. To get home, I travel by bus. Guess who sat down next to me for the whole trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 733

You deserved it 2 504

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 169

You deserved it 32 762

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 230

You deserved it 10 974