Love

By haphazard2007 - 02/01/2012 09:44 - United States

Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML

agreeclassic 34 023

vote type 1 2 855

By mjbx - 01/01/2012 19:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML

agreeclassic 33 860

vote type 1 16 004

By upsetandannoyed - 01/01/2012 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

agreeclassic 34 014

vote type 1 3 697

By TheBeastSwaq - 31/12/2011 17:09 - United States

Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML

agreeclassic 33 848

vote type 1 2 637

By ktinanic - 30/12/2011 17:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

agreeclassic 28 094

vote type 1 3 077

By wellthatsawkward - 30/12/2011 06:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

agreeclassic 32 526

vote type 1 4 362

By foreveralonecatlady - 28/12/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, I was bombarded with pictures of my little sister's Christmas present. It was a huge engagement ring. I got broken up with in public on Christmas eve. FML

agreeclassic 36 180

vote type 1 2 924

By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

agreeclassic 36 771

vote type 1 3 603

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML

agreeclassic 9 899

vote type 1 40 182

By flowerman - 26/12/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

agreeclassic 34 075

vote type 1 5 238

By SoccerBabe42 - 26/12/2011 12:11 - Canada

Today, I went on a blind date. All my date would talk about was how he was "really his own best friend." FML

agreeclassic 27 964

vote type 1 3 243

By Cary - 26/12/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML

agreeclassic 33 332

vote type 1 7 882

By Nowajerk - 25/12/2011 01:15 - Australia

Today, I just finished nearly a year of muscle-building in order to impress my crush. Turns out she doesn't date fit guys, because "they're all jerks". FML

agreeclassic 29 655

vote type 1 17 672

By lovinglife - 24/12/2011 12:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I wrapped my boyfriend's Christmas presents for him, because he was too lazy to do it himself. This included my own present. FML

agreeclassic 30 594

vote type 1 6 352

By bigmistake - 24/12/2011 03:22 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

agreeclassic 34 148

vote type 1 17 980

By unwanted - 24/12/2011 02:24 - United States

Today, I realized my wife often switches the TV channel from the crime dramas we both like, to Hollywood gossip shows that I can't stand, just to get me to leave the room. From the other room, I can see that she switches back once I've left. She's probably been doing this for years. FML

agreeclassic 34 054

vote type 1 3 698

By FML - 24/12/2011 01:32 - Sweden

Today, after having recently moved 300 miles to be with my boyfriend of 2 years, I have to celebrate Christmas alone. He never thought our relationship important enough to tell his family about me, and doesn't want it to be "awkward." FML

agreeclassic 34 820

vote type 1 5 069

By LukeSkywalker - 23/12/2011 16:38 - United States

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of four years through a speech that took me three weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

agreeclassic 38 307

vote type 1 4 666

By johncabbot25 - 23/12/2011 10:53 - Canada

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

agreeclassic 37 019

vote type 1 3 499

By Jean - 22/12/2011 08:09 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML

agreeclassic 36 269

vote type 1 3 672

Are you sure?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2011 05:50 - United States

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

agreeclassic 30 241

vote type 1 3 727

By BGood - 21/12/2011 16:30 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at a grocery store. We haven't seen each other since we broke up a few months ago, and when he introduced me, he called me by the wrong name. We dated for three years. FML

agreeclassic 39 404

vote type 1 3 947

By tarynfaye - 21/12/2011 11:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML

agreeclassic 43 039

vote type 1 4 856

By 409sPoisonGirl - 21/12/2011 05:12 - Australia

Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML

agreeclassic 25 500

vote type 1 8 763

409sPoisonGirl app_comment_confession_title

409sPoisonGirl 12

Friday 12 April 2013 8:49

Amazing what you find when you're reading the random FMLs... OP here. Let me explain - at the time this was posted, I was pregnant and suffering from terrible morning sickness. Believe it or not, that worked a treat! And helped me cheer up as well... To everyone who said their partner is/was in the service, I hope they come home safe and sound. I respect both you and your partners. God bless.