Top

Top agreed Top commented Top favorited

Top of the day Top of the week Top of the month Top of the year

Top all time

By CoolStoryBro - 29/03/2013 08:23

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

agreeclassic 41 854

vote type 1 3 598

By UNmarried - 31/08/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML

agreeclassic 41 854

vote type 1 4 175

By Anonymous - 14/08/2014 04:38 - France

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

agreeclassic 41 852

vote type 1 9 541

Nervous nelly

By rejected - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Harlow

Today, I thought I was finally over my anxiety problem, and confidently went to my first ever job interview. Halfway through, the manager told me that if I didn't stop being so nervous, he couldn't give me the job. I cried. FML

agreeclassic 41 852

vote type 1 5 185

By Anonymous - 31/12/2012 20:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

agreeclassic 41 848

vote type 1 4 216

By wtf - 17/12/2012 19:38 - United States

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

agreeclassic 41 848

vote type 1 3 882

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML

agreeclassic 41 846

vote type 1 4 686

By Optimist - 04/08/2009 08:26 - Canada

Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, "I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and now I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML

agreeclassic 41 846

vote type 1 25 979

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 23:00 - United Kingdom - Kilkeel

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

agreeclassic 41 845

vote type 1 9 047

By IceQueen - 01/02/2014 00:40 - United States - Clinton

Today, I've been without hot water for three days thanks to a frozen water line. I finally managed to thaw the frozen area, only to have the chunk of ice dislodge, slam into a bend in the pipe, and burst the line. FML

agreeclassic 41 844

vote type 1 6 076

By Anonymous - 22/06/2010 20:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over two years said he wants to get married before he leaves for basic training. Not because he loves me, but because he'll get paid more if he's married. This is the only time he's been excited about marriage. FML

agreeclassic 41 843

vote type 1 4 971

By Username - 27/01/2010 08:35 - France

Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML

agreeclassic 41 842

vote type 1 8 990

By Anonymous - 12/03/2011 23:18 - United States

Today, I was fired from the trucking company I work for, due to numerous complaints about my reckless driving. I don't even do driving work there, but my ex keeps calling in to report me, and my boss wanted the calls to stop. FML

agreeclassic 41 835

vote type 1 3 372

Merry McXmas

By myjobsucks - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found out that I'm working on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. I'm spending my favourite time of the year working for $8.70 an hour. At McDonald's. FML

agreeclassic 41 833

vote type 1 9 410

By leigh2812 - 05/01/2010 22:03 - France

Today, I was watching Free Willy with my boyfriend. It was at the part where the boy leaned into the water to give Willy a hug. I asked, "How do you even hug a whale?" My boyfriend rolled over and gave me a hug, and said, "Like this." FML

agreeclassic 41 832

vote type 1 14 486

Welcome…

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 07:55 - Australia - Wahroonga

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

agreeclassic 41 829

vote type 1 4 579

By SeriousJoker72 - 11/10/2014 01:17 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

agreeclassic 41 828

vote type 1 3 522

SeriousJoker72 app_comment_confession_title

SeriousJoker72 18

Saturday 11 October 2014 19:09

Hahahahaha! Maybe I'll make that my Halloween costume!

Gravel?

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

agreeclassic 41 826

vote type 1 4 322

Spice

By HungerStrike - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Czech Republic - Hostivice

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

agreeclassic 41 825

vote type 1 3 678

Good boy

By fall3nrain - 11/09/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML

agreeclassic 41 823

vote type 1 7 181

By hotride - 15/12/2010 16:34

Today, I woke up to the sound of sirens. My ex-girlfriend, who I had broken up with the day before, had set my car on fire. I had just finished restoring it. I was going to insure it today. FML

agreeclassic 41 818

vote type 1 6 500

jd7546 app_comment_confession_title

jd7546 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 16:47

I had just started restoring it when I got it, and nobody would insure it when I got it. it looked like a junkyard heap of shit, I just got it back the day before I broke up with her. still have the burnt up shell in my drive way that I have to dispose of :(

By Anonymous - 23/01/2014 21:49 - United States - Washington

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

agreeclassic 41 817

vote type 1 5 192

By Anonymous - 25/10/2008 16:55

Today, my refrigerator defrosted itself. FML

agreeclassic 41 817

vote type 1 5 782

By kaleigh - 31/05/2011 17:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML

agreeclassic 41 816

vote type 1 10 199

Metal as ****

By lerouxmaster - 22/12/2010 11:43

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

agreeclassic 41 815

vote type 1 9 645

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

agreeclassic 41 815

vote type 1 5 270

By disasterbutton - 09/02/2010 00:28 - United States

Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

agreeclassic 41 814

vote type 1 3 010

By fatbabysyndrome - 18/12/2012 17:33 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited, and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious, he's been searching for high-calorie foods for babies. FML

agreeclassic 41 814

vote type 1 6 366

Zinger

By chloeguest97 - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." Sixty people liked this, including my boyfriend and my best friend. FML

agreeclassic 41 813

vote type 1 8 254

By Anonymous - 24/09/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

agreeclassic 41 812

vote type 1 13 652

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, while driving around with my brother and his idiotic friends, one of them decided it would be a brilliant idea to throw a hot sauce packet out of the car window at a moving vehicle. I've never seen someone angry enough to stop and get out of a vehicle that fast. FML

agreeclassic 18 151

vote type 1 2 650

Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML

agreeclassic 30 736

vote type 1 4 194

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

agreeclassic 44 157

vote type 1 7 266

Today, I had to take my alcoholic wife's e-bike away from her that I just got two months ago when she was sober and starting a new job. With in one week she was buying vodka and getting drunk again. When I went home for lunch, I found she tried to cut the chain I put around it with a circular saw used for wood. FML.

agreeclassic 820

vote type 1 132

Today, after house sitting for my future father-in-law and managing to keep things spotless for 3 weeks, a pipe burst. It flooded the place and shorted out a plug socket, causing a fire that ruined the front room. He gets home in 3 hours. I'm screwed. FML

agreeclassic 4 226

vote type 1 275

Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML

agreeclassic 36 549

vote type 1 3 025