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The all-time greatest FMLs

Is that even legal?

By lilypanda333 - 08/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I had a really good day out just to come home right before the electricity company closed for the day, to find out my payment hadn’t gone through and they'd turned it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 146

By anonymous - 30/06/2010 04:05 - United States

Today, my aunt and I wanted to do something nice. So we made cookies for a local nursing home. After tasting them, nobody ate any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 76

Skivers

By Nice - 28/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I got roped into work on my day off because the two new guys weren't showing up. My boss promised that I would get tomorrow off if I did, so I said okay. However, as soon as I came in and got all ready to go, guess who came in? FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 92

It's all connected

By Anonymous - 21/10/2024 06:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, I’ve been sick for 3 weeks and by now I can hardly even distinguish whether I feel weak and shitty due to A) still being sick, B) lack of exercise (caused by A), or C) severe depression (caused by B). FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 98

Act three, scene one

By anon - 12/08/2024 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I was performing in a community theater production. Right before my big scene, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in, but it came out with such force that I lost my balance, fell off the stage, and landed in the lap of the mayor, who was in the front row. My character’s dramatic entrance was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 145

Contempt of court

By Just my luck - 17/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, it's been several weeks since I unfortunately had to tell my grandpa that I wouldn't make it to his birthday party due to jury duty. It's now the day before, which also happens to be his birthday, and I just discovered that I was excused due to them having extras and replacing me. Too late now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 123

It's all about that D

By MK. - 21/04/2021 02:00

Today, at the age of 22, I found out that Wednesday has another D in it. Literally no one ever corrected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 904

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 09/02/2024 08:00

Today, it's been a while since I tried the "shave-your-beard to see if your baby recognises you afterwards" trick. I wasn’t expecting her to start crying, real heartbreaking tears. The beard's now grown back but she still cries and screams whenever she sees me, and we don’t know what to do. I think traumatised my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 445

Two things that aren't the same

By YanezIbanez - 13/05/2021 06:01

Today, my mother called me "wasteful" because I left the refrigerator door open and that "electricity money doesn’t grow on trees." This is the same person who lets my little sister have her light on all night, because she’s scared of the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 446

A tad jealous

By Anonymous - 08/05/2025 18:00 - China - Changsha

Today, after my ex dumped me on November 18, 2024, after 11 years of friendship and just 6 months dating, spreading rumors and ruining my reputation, we’re now in the same class again. The worst part? She’s already chasing another motherfucker who looks like her old crush, right in front of me. Disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 228

Wind? Thief? Hit and run?

By Where is My Tree? - 28/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 46

What even is that?

By git recked lul - 01/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Allen Park

Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 169

To be fair and balanced…

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 00:00

Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 85

Hanging out

By Anonymous - 07/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 152

Weekend at Bernie's

By Anonymous - 25/04/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I set aside a weekend to spend time with a friend. I learned that someone else is staying there: a fat, unemployed man-child who talks shit about us on Facebook, while his manipulative wife pays his bills. He got evicted from his last home when he pretended to be a ninja and cut up his neighbor's garden. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 92

I'm on my way!

By Anonymous - 24/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I was running late for work and sprinted to catch the bus. As I got on, panting heavily, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. The driver gave me a pity look and let me ride for free. I thanked him and sat down, only to discover I was on the wrong bus, heading in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 272

Jaded

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 23:00

Today, after my son got his first girlfriend at 19, a nice girl as well, he broke up with her after 3 days because women are "too much effort", too "expensive", and keep trying to make him "do things." Unbelievable. Three days with a woman turned him into a cynical 65 year-old who's been married for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 180

Disappointing

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 12:00

Today, I bumped into a former teacher, one who spent many many weeks helping me get into university so I could become a psychologist. I had to see the look of disappointment on her face when I told her I got pregnant freshman year, and became a stay at home mom with a part time job at Tesco’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 394

A lot going on

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 00:00

Today, it was the seventh anniversary of my grandfather's passing. It was also my cousin's funeral (suicide). Brad Arnold's death was also announced. At the end of an exhausting day, I got dumped. Fuck February 8th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 64

Gimme a break

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, it's been two years since my dad died on my birthday. Last year I was able to be out of the US on the day thanks to rewards points, because I don't want to be around my normal boring routine the day of. This year I could have made it if my car's repair cost less than $600. Turns out it's going to cost $1000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 103

She's just not that into you

By Anonymous - 13/03/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, and recently, I've had a crush on a woman, we've and texting for a while. She always replies instantly and very positively, but she never asks about me or initiates anything. I have no idea whether I have a chance, but probably not. There are very limited signs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 540

Quack quack quack!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2025 03:00 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, my son admitted that he worked out how to make a fuse in my house's fusebox blow, by turning on all the appliances and lights in the house at once. He's done it three days in a row because when the lights go out, I 'scream and act like Donald Duck, but with swearing' and it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 194

Forever alone

By Anonymous - 05/05/2021 17:01

Today, I found myself being jealous of the relationship between Ethan Klein and Trisha Paytas on Frenemies. I need a life. I need real friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 623

So frustrating!

By Sexless - 18/09/2025 20:00

Today, my wife complained that I never try to initiate sex anymore. I moved in to kiss her, only for her to push away and say, "I don't want sex!" I tried again later that night. "I don't want sex!" The next day: "I don't want sex!" This is why I never try; if something doesn't work, why keep trying it? FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 76

Tattoo backstory needed

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 22:00

Today, I got my boyfriend naked for the first time. He had "Baby Fucker" tattooed over his groin. He had some weird explanation for it, but I couldn't stop thinking about him fucking a baby, and it turned me off massively. I don't think I can keep dating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 81

Floundering

By Gerry - 05/11/2024 09:00 - Ireland

Today, I was at a friend’s wedding, and when it came time to make a toast, I tried to stand up to make a speech. My suit jacket got caught on the chair, and I ended up falling flat on my back. The speech was drowned out by everyone laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 100

The little known stages of grief

By Anonymous - 12/06/2022 22:00

Today, for some reason my girlfriend wanted to have sex in the bathroom at a family funeral. I’m sure that’s a sin, I mean… we definitely did it, so sorry Nana, but now I feel all wrong about it and I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell one day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 622

Nature vs. Nurture

By what??? - 01/11/2023 22:00

Today, I think my daughter is the only person in the world who was born racist. The other day she said to me, “Girls with dark skin can’t be pretty.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 185

Belief it or not

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 23:00

Today, every boyfriend I’ve ever had dumped me because they realised I was serious about saving myself until marriage. I’m now in my late 30s, single, and childless. My sister, whose knickers were up and down like a yo-yo in high school, is happily married with 3 great kids. Religion is for idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 1 285

Unintentional insult

By Anonymous - 25/08/2024 09:00 - Slovenia

Today, I work at an IT company where we hand out laptops to our users, which we also equip with passwords. I used bird names from my language for the passwords. Turns out one of the passwords was a derogatory word for a woman who is very sexually active, because it's spelled the same as a type of bird here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 126

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I let my on-again, off-again boyfriend spend the night. For months we had been fighting about his new flame. After he convinced me that they are no longer an item, we had the most mind-blowing sex then we fell asleep. I awoke to him moaning her name. Followed by pelvic thrusts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 060

You deserved it 54 382

Today, my husband cried more at the funeral of his tattoo artist than he did at his grandmother's funeral. Seriously, at the artist's funeral, he was crying; at his grandmother's, he kept checking the time on his phone and yawning. What man did I marry? FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 380

Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 2 351

Today, my man said, "If you get more sore from your workouts than from having sex with me, I’m gonna cry!" Uhm… I do serious weight training, and in bed we both enjoy the missionary position, so… sorry for your ego, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 168

Today, my bike is freshly back from a costly repair, so naturally this means that the slight rasping of the chain that used to bug me has now turned into a situation where one third of the gears can only be used with the aid of a screw driver, which I now carry with me on every ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 155

Today, during my lunch break, I sat on the manager's chair. As I sat down, I heard a snapping sound and I ended up on the floor. Everyone now calls me "the lumpy girl" who broke the manager's chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 067

You deserved it 454