The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Ratted

By Anonymous - 20/03/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, one of my friends got me in trouble when he called our house and asked my parents why they didn't see us at a school conference. My parents were at a meeting elsewhere at the time, so I didn't bother to tell them about it, as we couldn't have gone there to begin with, and it was voluntary. They're mad anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 202

Kinda true, though

By Ponce de Leon's folly - 08/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancée informed me she wants us to go on a cruise for her birthday. I replied, "Ahhh cruise ships, the Walmart of the Seven Seas." She threw a mixer at my feet and told me I ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 1 154

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 183

Evening out

By Pissed and broke - 30/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I finally got a raise after years of hard work! Excited, I went on a shopping spree, but as I checked the latest prices, it turns out that my extra income barely covers the increase in my grocery bill. Thanks, inflation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 123

The first step is being able to admit it

By Anonymous - 14/07/2024 09:00 - Czechia - Litoměřice

Today, my grandmother hates me. So much so that I've become a rotten, desperate, and overall evil person with no thoughts and considerations towards other people. My family doesn't know this, but I can never undo the damage she has done to me since birth (as she raised me). I only care about my own well-being, nothing else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 206

Don't call us, we'll call you

By Despair - 27/04/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was at a job interview and, just as I was about to answer a question, I suddenly got the worst case of hiccups. I tried to hold them in but ended up hiccuping in rhythm, making me sound like a malfunctioning robot. I spent the rest of the interview with a red face and no idea how to get my dignity back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 74

This is fine

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 01:00 - United States - Cerritos

Today, I got another parking ticket because I can't afford a parking pass for the school I attend. I now have over $700 in unpaid parking tickets. I have classes all day from Monday-Thursday. I work Friday-Sunday. They recently cut hours at work. Some days I can't afford to feed myself. My mom said, "Figure it out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 499

Vacation blues

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I set aside an entire week off to watch my parents' house while they went on vacation. I'd only just got here and they'd barely left when the hospital called. My drunk uncle died from a concussion, so my parents cancelled everything. I feel bad for my aunt, but my boss knows where I live, and my dad's an ass. I'm trapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 103

Slumlords

By beccaboo_96 - 20/10/2024 17:00 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I found out that my house has termites and my family, from whom I'm renting the place, says I might have to move. I don't have the funds for that right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 82

Hang in there, Mom

By Anonymous - 12/10/2025 00:00

Today, I realized that the root of my depression is that I hate being a mom. l love my two boys but I barely function taking care of myself due to years of abuse. My 6 year-old and 8 month-old have me constantly overstimulated to the point I enjoy nothing anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 169

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 21/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, after a year and a half of being with who I thought was the love of my life, we broke up. It was mutual, and even though they emotionally cheated in the beginning, hiding messages, and lying to me about things, I feel like a failure for not making it work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 128

Make believe

By SN MetalMilitia - 03/11/2020 05:02

Today, I once again bought condoms at the gas station to make the people who work there think that I have a sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 1 400

Snow day

By J…… - 21/01/2024 09:00 - United States - Coventry

Today, is the second time this week that school is delayed because of snow or "extreme ice." It's like we're Texas now, they get 2 inches of snow and the whole state gets shut down, but no, I live in Rhode Island. I gotta go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 147

Tasteful

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom - Greenwich

Today, my girlfriend got a new tattoo - the Blink-182 logo on her stomach. I wouldn't mind it, except she got pregnant a month ago and I'm pretty sure that it can't good for the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 291

Cozy

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband fell asleep on my shoulder. He then ripped a nasty fart. I exhaled slowly but apparently loud enough that it woke up my husband who promptly screamed directly in my ear, before screaming a second time when he smelled the fart as well. The worst part is that also he scared my cat off my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 88

Love stains

By Chloeeee - 18/11/2025 22:00

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with rose petals on the bed. Romantic, right? Turns out, the roses I'd bought had been sprayed with some sort of red dye. The petals stained the sheets, my hands, and our white-furred cat, who now looks like a tiny crime scene victim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 101

We believe in you

By No life (apparently) - 06/02/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, after months of playing chess as a hobby, I'm actually starting to get kind of good. Excited at my results, I decided to share this with a friend. Her response: "Don't quit your day job. You're not becoming a professional." First of all, I'm not trying to be THAT good, nor do I expect to. Secondly, ouch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 116

The writing is on the wall

By Anonymous - 11/11/2024 09:00 - United States - West Chester

Today, I overheard the guy who hired me talking to one of my managers in hushed tones about me. I'm pretty sure he's going to send me an email soon, saying that my job "probably isn't the right fit" for me, which is part of what I overheard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 77

Kids love that sort of repetition

By Vicky Cain - 15/06/2021 21:01 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my child thinks it's hilarious to continuously pour his entire Lego collection all over the floor. When I tidy it away, he does it all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 723

The place to be

By Anonymous - 08/02/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, the choir director I’m playing drums for sent an email saying we’d changed venues, but didn’t say where it was, making me hunt for this venue, and making me nearly late to rehearsal. The bass player was here on time. How did she find the venue? The director's Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 154

You guys…

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 03:00

Today, I had to rush home from work to help my parents, who are both wheelchair users, because they were having sex and fell between the bed and the wall. With both of them unable to walk, they were stuck there, so the first thing I saw walking into their room was mom's bum hole staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 69

Living the meme

By OliviaOlive - 24/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was giving a speech at a conference when halfway through I got a sudden case of hiccups. For the next 5 minutes I tried to finish my presentation while hiccuping uncontrollably. The audience found it hilarious and started cheering each time I hiccuped. I’m convinced no one could tell me what the speech was actually about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 89

Gimme a break

By Respect the handyman - 01/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, after days of my wife nagging me, I started working on the flat pack furniture she ordered. Every twenty minutes, she interrupted me to demand I stop and help her with something trivial and irrelevant. Now I remember why I postpone projects as long as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 120

Stalkers everywhere

By Anonymous - 10/09/2025 22:00

Today, I got another "secret admirer" letter from someone at work. I'm now talking to the police, yet again, because I'm a middle school teacher and suspect it was from one of my underage students. Nobody warned me about this when I became a teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 109

Practice makes perfect sense

By Anonymous - 06/08/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, I practiced my wedding vows in front of the mirror we have in the hallway. When I was done, I heard clapping from my living room. Turns out my fiancé’s parents had come over early for dinner and had heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 149

Sibling rivalry

By Mayo baby - 19/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 143

Compliant

By Anonymous - 13/06/2024 15:00 - United States - Prospect

Today, I finally finished our two hour long yearly compliance training at work. Not five minutes later, I receive an email from our compliance department, notifying me of a complaint against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 121

Ouch…

By Istilllovehim - 18/08/2024 10:00 - United States - Hampton

Today, my boyfriend told me that he becomes a boring version of himself whenever we are together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 160

Chill out, dude

By Anonymous - 31/08/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He broke down crying because his mother is going to be so mad at him. He’s in his 30’s and we've lived together for over 4 years, it’s not like it was a drunken mistake, it just happened naturally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 130

Leave me alone

By Chandler - 15/10/2025 15:00

Today, at my local pub, I discovered that three equally toxic women were having a contest to see who could take me home first. I'm an emotional (and not very attractive) person who spent the year dealing with a tragic breakup and I don't do hookups. These women know this and STILL waste my time trying to gaslight me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 98

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I confronted my 32 year-old boyfriend about texting his 17 year-old female coworker. He says they only talk about “work related things and video games” and not about “sex or anything.” What work related things could they be talking about all day and all night long? They work at Taco Bell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 212

Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 3 675

Today, I turned 18 and I’m now subject to adult discipline. My dad says I will no longer be grounded or have my phone taken away, but I have three strikes and if I get to three, he’s throwing me out to get my own house. He then gave me my first strike because I was 30 minutes late picking up my nana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 830

You deserved it 569

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 172

You deserved it 4 301

Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 320

You deserved it 4 590

Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 106