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The all-time greatest FMLs

Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine

By Anonymous - 03/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, as always, when my dad says he needs my help and that it will only take 15 minutes, it will actually take all day because he doesn't plan ahead. This has happened three times now, so this time I demanded he compensate me for my time if I have to drive out there. He called me an "entitled little shit" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 222

Bigmouth Strikes Again

By Bobbi Fett - 31/01/2022 23:00

Today, I told my boyfriend to stand up for himself more often. He now takes very hard stances on his desire for anal sex and his love for the Star Wars Disney+ series. I should’ve kept my big mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 1 484

What's the plan?

By Anonymous - 15/07/2024 18:00 - Canada - Capreol

Today, and for the last two weeks, my husband has been playing hide and go seek with the internet router and my iPad to, I guess, try and punish/annoy me. I keep finding them, use them when he’s not home, and put them back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 124

Higher standards of living

By gross? - 14/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was called gross by my mother for not cleaning my bathroom. I normally clean it every day, but today it looked clean, and I really needed a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 83

Fuzzy logic

By It’s just peach fuzz on my cheeks, but still - 07/09/2024 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, I had to come to terms with having more facial hair than my boyfriend, despite being female since birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 87

Pay me!

By Fat - 27/09/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, if I had a dollar for every person who told me that I couldn't possibly have an eating disorder because I'm overweight, I would have enough to pay for therapy to deal with my very real eating disorder and insecurities about my weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 147

Murdered

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 20:01

Today, I woke up and checked my fish tank. I thought the temperature was too low, so half asleep, I turned it up. Now all my fish are dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 1 045

Respect the dead

By what the fuck is wrong with her? - 27/07/2022 10:00

Today, my idiot stepdaughter wadded up my dead grandma’s quilt instead of folding it neatly after using it. When I asked how she would feel if I wadded up her dead mom’s blanket, she replied that she wouldn’t care, at all. She then had the audacity to ask me to explain what she did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 1 219

Suspicious

By Housing Crisis sucks - 26/02/2024 16:00 - Australia

Today, my long-distance girlfriend's family accused me of being a scammer, all because I started a GoFundme to help me move my stuff into storage, as I am getting kicked out of my current place with nowhere to go in the middle of a housing crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 213

I blame the parents

By Anonymous - 15/09/2025 22:00

Today, my tired son and I were riding a shuttle bus. An old lady got on, and I told him we needed to get up so she could have the seat. He started crying and screamed, "WHY? She's old, she's gonna die soon!" I wanted to melt into the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 169

Yours or theirs? Or both?

By Anonymous - 15/01/2025 04:00 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today, I realized my marriage makes me feel like I'm just passing time until death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 140

AirPlop

By Fred666 - 02/12/2023 16:00 - Canada

Today, I sneezed while wearing wireless earbuds. The force of the sneeze catapulted one earbud across the room, where it landed perfectly in a cup of coffee. My coffee now plays podcasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 135

Sounds more like a "you" problem

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 08:01

Today, I was hanging out with friends of the opposite sex, which is the norm for me as I don’t get along with most women. Every time I spoke, I got ignored or spoken over, and they kept asking me what was wrong. Ugh, men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 1 254

The big waiting room

By Big sad - 27/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my depression has reached the point where I'm not sure if I'm even living anymore. Sure, I'm very much alive and able to type this, but I feel as though I'm just existing. Taking up space. Doing nothing. I can't be alone here, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 125

Never crush on company time

By Anonymous - 25/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent a heartfelt text to my crush confessing my feelings. I was over the moon when I saw they were typing a response. Turns out they were just asking if I could cover their shift at work. Rejected and now on the night shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 256

Poor kitty

By My poor baby :(((( - 21/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when a cat loses a fight with a swarm of bees, the swelling from the stings can make it look like a cartoon character. My cat's nose looks like Operation Man's nose, and his paws are comically massive. I feel so horrible for laughing, but the vet bill will bring me back to reality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 187

Medical malpractice

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 02:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I went to the hospital for severe abdominal pain and nausea. I sat in the waiting room for six hours, just to be told, “We don’t know what’s wrong with you. Try taking Gravol and Tylenol and maybe lay off the fatty foods.” I feel like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 109

Invaders

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 14:00 - Germany

Today, the snails have been so prolific that not only have I lost any hope of growing vegetables this year, but they have actually eaten all the flowers off my crocuses, and the broom on the terrace looks like it’s wearing hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 90

The Prime Minister is concerned

By Anonymous - 21/05/2024 22:00 - Australia - Balaclava

Today, I got a call from a 24/7 psychiatric triage centre. Apparently, writing to the PM about assisted suicide puts you on their 'at risk' list. Is it not reasonable to ask if Australia is going to follow Canada's lead in complex mental health as a qualification for assisted suicide? I'm getting another call tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 193

Double whammy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I had to go to my parents' house and interrupt their "private time" to tell them that grandpa is in the emergency room. For those of you who are wondering if it gets any less traumatizing and/or awkward as an adult: it doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 105

Roomies

By Werebothwomen - 19/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate of over 8 years assumed “the rag” I keep “above the toilet” was meant for wiping, and “the rag” on the separate towel rack was for washing your face. I have used the hand towel “above the toilet” to dry my hands after washing for a decade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 178

Overwhelmed

By Anonymous - 11/04/2024 06:00 - Germany

Today, any regular person might go to work, exercise, shower, shop for groceries, cook some food and spend time with friends. I barely manage to do ONE of those things on any given day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 205

Inflation

By Anonymous - 12/05/2024 07:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, my need for medication that increases bruising collided with my need for major oral surgery. I look like a chipmunk who lost a fight. Just in time for Mother’s Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 87

Lonely times

By Anonymous - 21/08/2024 15:00 - United States - Port Orchard

Today, I realized why my depression is so bad. No matter how hard I try, I have always been a replaceable presence in everyone's lives, and I have never felt like anyone couldn't live without me. Not even family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 140

Your cooking, dude

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 20:00

Today, I made popcorn shrimp. My dog was being a whiner so I gave her one of the shrimp. I guess she didn't like it because she hopped right back up and spat it out on my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 754

Disturbing the peace

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to tell a kid he couldn't skate without a helmet. He called me a Karen and pushed me into a fountain, so I called the cops. The cops arrived and questioned the kid, who said I deserved it for being a Karen. They accepted that, and told me to stop harassing kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 1 941

Unimpressed

By kylie - 02/04/2021 17:01

Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 980

Never go public

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 20:00

Today, I learned to keep your posts private on social media. Your boss might find your Facebook status updates saying, “I hate this shitty 9-5, I want to be on a beach with a margarita.” I got a call from him saying, “You’re terminated from the shitty 9-5, so you don’t have to anymore. Enjoy the beach!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 2 751

Not great

By poopsquirt404 - 06/01/2026 00:00

Today, my friend and I flew home from India ten days early. I got cholera and she got groped twice and followed back to our accommodations by a gang of men. So much for our exotic overseas trip… FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 225

Strange kind of ****

By Jeanine - 13/05/2021 20:01

Today, I had to admit to myself that recently my biggest kink was watching Sam Seder debate libertarians. My oh my, watching him dunk on them on YouTube gets me hot and bothered. This feels wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 891

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The Top

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 001

You deserved it 14 375

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 703

You deserved it 48 091

Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 139

You deserved it 364

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 146

You deserved it 3 804

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 982

You deserved it 9 588

Today, and like every other day this year, my wife’s best friend thinks it’s funny to make comments that she thinks I’ll murder my wife, and that she should leave me ASAP. The best friend is in her 30s and has never had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 106