The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Gutsy move

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 06:00 - United States

Today, dealing with anxiety and depression, I finally got up the energy to bake. I chose homemade enchiladas. I then spent the whole day walking from the toilet to the nearest couch (and vice versa), feeling like my intestines were going to blow. No more enchiladas for me for a long time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 218

Get lost

By Anonymous - 23/05/2023 15:00 - United States - Columbus

Today, a customer violently ranted how people in Latin America are "nothing but filth" compared to the “clean, civilized” people of "Anglo countries like Australia and New Zealand." All because I told him that flash photography is not permitted. If that’s not bad enough, the police were unwilling to do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 157

Excuse my beauty

By Idk - 09/12/2022 12:00

Today, my mom filmed our friends running into each other with exercise balls. One of the balls got lost, and I was seen in the video running to retrieve it. One commenter in the video said she "loved the woman running for the ball." Last time I checked, I'm not a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 211

Negotiations

By Anonymous - 22/09/2020 17:01

Today, I had to tell my 28-year-old roommate she needs to wash her hands after using the bathroom. She then said she’d try, as long as I try to put my dishes in the dishwasher. Those aren’t even on the same level. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 975

Language, Timothy

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 72

Life is boring

By jay1998 - 24/02/2022 05:00 - Sudan

Today, I miss what it’s like to be in college. I didn’t know life after graduation was so empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 217

Be precise

By Loveless - 07/03/2021 15:30 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I started the conversation where I intended to confess to my crush that I like her. I first asked her if she liked me. She asked me to define my terms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 278

Bugging out

By Ernest - 30/11/2022 06:00

Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 289

CUT IT OUT!

By Anonymous - 06/03/2023 18:00

Today, I went to see a movie by myself and ended up sitting next to a couple on a first date, who spent the whole movie whispering to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 170

IBS?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a hike. About two miles into the five mile trail, my stomach started to bubble and I realized there were no bathrooms nearby. My only options were to literally shit my pants or shit in a bush. Well, I shit in the bush and had no tissue to wipe. I hate having stomach issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 155

Stuck

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, while on my way to deliver aluminum to a customer on top of a really steep hill, there wasn't enough room to do a U-turn without clipping a vehicle. I had to go through some mud, so now the company semi is bumper-deep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 182

Jealous guy?

By Anonymous - 11/09/2025 00:00

Today, at nearly 9 months pregnant, I came home to find the nursery that had been set up was now completely stripped of everything. My husband was angry at me for not forgiving him for getting another woman pregnant at the same time, so he took everything from the room and gave it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 93

Casual

By Anonymous - 16/09/2023 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad casually mentioned my half-sister in conversation. He had her out of wedlock when he was only 13. NEWS TO ME, HE'S NEVER MENTIONED I HAVE A HALF-SISTER BEFORE AND I'M FREAKING 22 YEARS-OLD. Apparently he and mom thought I knew, and just forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 101

Healthcare is a human right

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Edwardsville

Today, I was yelled at by my mom because I didn't hear her. I'm only 16, but I swear, to some extent, I'm losing my hearing, I don't even know what from. I've told her this, but she can't hear out of one ear, so of course it wouldn't feel real. I do feel bad about it, but I haven't heard her every time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 83

Flattery will get you nowhere

By Anonymous - 03/02/2021 14:02

Today, my mother told me I've gained so much weight recently, she thinks I should get gastric bypass surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 243

Your days are numbered, puny human

By Cat Mama - 22/12/2022 09:00

Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. to my cat biting my face. This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m pretty sure if I die in my sleep, she’ll eat me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 185

Solo

By AmIworthit? - 13/08/2021 10:01 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I had to admit to an attractive coworker that it wasn't a hickey on my neck, but a mosquito bite instead. I then realized how alone I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 122

I can't help it

By SPOODERZ - 10/12/2022 08:00 - United States

Today, my mom still freaks out and yells "Where?" when I mention spiders to her in any form, regardless of context, and no matter what I preface it with. She just fixates on the word "spider." I get that arachnophobia is pretty miserable to have, but this is ridiculous. Go see a therapist, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 283

Teaser

By Frustrating - 21/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my wife spent the entire evening grabbing my crotch, whispering dirty things to me, and telling me how horny she was, right up until the kids went to bed. Then, it was, "Baby, I just want cuddles, I don't feel like sex" and pouting. This happens at least three times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 157

After careful consideration…

By Newgenmom - 18/12/2020 19:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my husband I might want a baby, so he took me to visit his best friend who has a toddler and we stayed for an hour. I no longer want a baby. I want the pill wrapped in 2 condoms and a joint vasectomy/hysterectomy paid for with my non-baby disposable income, and my husband now has a shit eating grin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 1 709

Living in a romcom

By Anonymous - 18/06/2022 06:00

Today, my assistant booked me an important meeting tomorrow, which is also our anniversary. My boss says I can’t miss the meeting or I’ll be sacked, and since I forgot our anniversary last year, my wife swears she’ll divorce me if I miss this year. I have no good options here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 818

We love our short kings

By Anonymous - 30/03/2023 05:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I’m a short but decently attractive male but I can’t gain enough confidence to approach women, because of the trauma from female classmates treating me terribly in high school when I was still short, but also still going through puberty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 224

Dude, shut up

By BiteMe - 28/08/2022 12:00 - United States - Manchester

Today, I accidently accepted a lunch invitation from an old friend, because I forgot what they're like. Here comes another hour and a half monologue about how great they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 304

Alexa, play "Some Things Last a Long Time" by Daniel Johnston

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 12:00

Today, it's been one week since I found out that my ex got married. Since then, every night I dream about her breaking up with me again. Apparently, time doesn't heal all wounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 176

Warren Zevon wrote bangers

By The song is "Excitable Boy" - 02/01/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I've been trying to find and revisit a song that my dad listened to all the time when I was a kid, and I finally found it. Except now I'm old enough to realize the lyrics are about a psychotic man who gets put in a "home" for things I cannot put in here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 145

By samgonzalessb - 14/12/2009 17:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a voice personalized build-a-bear. I thought he was going to propose to me through it, only to press the foot of the bear and hear "we should break up" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 65

Last laugh

By Anonymous - 21/03/2023 18:00

Today, my ex-roommate, who decided to move out when my other roommate and I told her we didn't want a giant dresser for her dogs' clothes and stuff in the dining room, took the door knob out of the door to her former bedroom and threw some of my things in the recycling bin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 125

Healthy mind in a healthy body

By Anonymous - 04/08/2021 12:59 - Brazil - Niter?i

Today, I started a diet to lose the 20lbs I put on during quarantine. It was also the day my body decided the diminished food intake means I'm trying to starve it to death, and must be punished with a horrible migraine. That's what I get for trying to be healthier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 229

Still holding a candle

By Anonymous - 21/08/2021 22:00

Today, it's been two years since a club trip where I met someone who, for the first and last time in my life of crippling self hatred and depression, I actually believed might like me back. It's also been two years since I heard anything from him, despite him promising to keep in touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 215

Committed

By Anonymous - 29/11/2023 16:00

Today, I got home and once again my mom started shouting at me for ignoring her and never visiting. For context, I moved from London to Yorkshire to escape the evil cow. She not only found me, she bought the house next door to mine and moved in. I can’t afford to move again any time soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 102

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The Top

Today, I was feeling really down and my boyfriend refused to be there for me. It’s funny because a couple of months ago he was going through the same thing and I did everything I could to comfort him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 133

Today, on the bus, I caught the eye of this ugly, sweaty girl giving me a death stare through the driver's mirror. I gave her a death stare back. Only then I realized I was staring at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 536

You deserved it 37 490

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 666

You deserved it 7 294

Today, I found out that turkeys can fly. I also found out how much a new windshield costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 161

You deserved it 2 951

Today, I got banned on Club Penguin because I said "shit" while I was in a fight with another penguin about whose igloo is cooler. Shouldn't I have better things to do on a Friday night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 737

You deserved it 43 801

Today, my girlfriend, who never initiates sex, pulled me into my room and onto my bed with kisses and other seductive behavior. As I'm thinking about how awesome it is that's she's doing this for once, she reaches down, grabs my underwear, and gives me the worst wedgie I've ever received. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 193

You deserved it 13 571