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Operation time!

By Murphy’s Law - 04/03/2021 20:01 - United States - Troy

Today, I went to see the doctor for my daughter and myself. I fell two weeks ago, I thought I'd sprained my ankle but apparently I broke my leg instead. I’ve been limping around for two weeks. My daughter was sick, which is the only reason I got X-rayed. It may need screws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 200

I'm getting there!

By At least I'm trying - 26/08/2023 20:00

Today, one of my worst nightmares as an overweight woman came true. My boyfriend showed me a video someone had recorded of us exercising together, and who was mocking my weight the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 152

Tindersticks

By noluckthere - 10/09/2021 02:01

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and set all my stuff on fire. Why? Because she found my Tinder account. I haven’t even used it since I met her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 405

Serial Shitter

By Anonymous - 24/10/2021 05:01 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I got an email from a colleague with a picture in it of shit on the toilet seat. The email said, "Not pointing fingers but I left you out of the last email." I pee a lot and so I use the toilet a lot. I think everyone at work thinks it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 115

Welcome to middle age

By Adrianna - 03/12/2021 13:59

Today, I pulled a shoulder muscle opening my front door. How are your thirties going? FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 154

Where you been?

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 02:02 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, my boyfriend noticed a bruise on my hip. Apparently, he would rather believe I'm cheating on him, rather that I'm terribly clumsy at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 109

8 out 10 dentists

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 02:01

Today, after having toothaches for about two years, which persisted even after I had the crack in my tooth repaired, I went to a different dentist and it turns out that the actual culprit is a hole in the neighboring tooth, which has had years to grow, unnoticed under the edge of my gums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 74

Thanks Boris!

By Ella - 15/01/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after Boris made his Monday night lockdown announcement, my husband announced that no way can he handle another lockdown stuck in the house with me and two teenagers, so he drove all night to our static caravan and insists he’s staying there alone until lockdown is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 198

Priorities

By AJM - 22/06/2021 18:01 - United States

Today, the father of my children told me he is having gastric bypass surgery, which is 10,000 dollars. He is 9K behind on child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 200

#choices

By natedudelol - 07/06/2018 19:00

Today, at the self-checkout, I didn't have enough money for honey, so I just walked out with it and ended up getting caught. Now I have to hold a sign in front of the store wearing a big bumblebee costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 8 762

Time is money

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 18:00

Today, I had a job interview that I had spent hours preparing for it. When I arrived, the interviewer told me the position had been filled already and they forgot to notify me. I wasted a whole fucking day for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 87

Deadbeat

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 07:01 - Ireland

Today, exactly a year after he ended our relationship days before our son's first Christmas and told me he would always be in mine and our sons lives, I learned my ex got a new girlfriend several months ago, who more than likely is the reason he stopped calling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 153

Scary thought

By Kev - 14/02/2022 17:59

Today, I have a very mild case of COVID. I’ve been in quarantine for a few days now. No big deal. I’ve also been ridiculously horny these past few days. However, every time I…relieve that tension, I get a stabbing headache. Now I’m worried I may never full enjoy sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 217

Help yourself

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 22:00

Today my boss went digging through my drawer, took a pack of gum, and told me I got him the wrong flavor. He kept it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 105

Tinder surprise

By Oopsie - 27/05/2019 20:17

Today, I accidentally sent a screenshot of my Tinder conversation to my mom, instead of my friend. Yes, it was dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 2 349

Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to

By Anonymous - 05/08/2020 20:02

Today, during a deep conversation with my girlfriend of 6 months, I asked her if the guy she had cheated on me once with a few months back had a bigger “tool” than me. She said yes. So I asked, "How much bigger are we talking about?" Her response was "Probably like twice the size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 3 254

Bad timing

By Sorry granny - 04/11/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, I learned that when a fly goes up your shirt into your armpit, it tickles very badly. I also found out that it's hard to explain this to your mother while she's trying to have a serious conversation with you about your grandmother's rapidly deteriorating health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 155

Bad friends

By Anonymous - 23/11/2022 19:00 - United States - Sewanee

Today, I just found out that my first-ever boyfriend has been cheating on me for our whole entire relationship. All my fake friends knew about the her, but they just "forgot to tell me". FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 104

It's the new craze!

By seared well done - 21/08/2021 04:01

Today, I had to physically force my nephew to change his clothes after he tried to go out in long black jeans, a long-sleeved black shirt and a heavy black hoodie. It’s currently 106°F where we live. Apparently, heatstroke is the new trend, as several of his classmates are dressing the same way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 135

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 17:04 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I found out the first person I was able to open up to in nearly ten years is already in a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 163

You are what you eat

By i wonder why - 21/10/2022 07:00 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my roommate still chooses to waste his money on McDonald's food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He politely refuses to eat my nutritious home-cooked meals that people say taste amazing. Then he complains that he's in a shitty mood all the time. I wonder why… FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 551

Lonely birthday

By Anonymous - 07/05/2022 16:00

Today, it’s my birthday. It’s 2:30 pm, and my parents are still sleeping while I watch television with my dog. I’ll probably also have dinner with my dog. Happy Birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 171

Omicron : Origin story

By IHaveThePower - 30/11/2021 11:01 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I went in for a job interview. Apparently, this company feels masks are optional, vaccines are optional, and I don't ever need to visit my grandmother with dementia again. Luckily, I was able to escape before I needed to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 544

Family Matters

By MeLandes - 28/06/2021 14:01 - United States - Germantown

Today, I found out I will always come in second to my new husband's alcoholic parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 155

New creepypasta just dropped

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 21:00 - Australia

Today, I was sick in bed with a nasty flu. It was also the day my bird was eaten by an animal that had silently burrowed into the cage while I was recovering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 141

Pile on

By I miss bread - 14/12/2020 17:04 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out I'm going to be celebrating New Year's with a gastroscopy and colonoscopy. It's been two days since I discovered I'm gluten intolerant to go with my lactose intolerance. It's also my 28th birthday tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 105

It's a pretty good response, though

By angrymom - 04/06/2021 01:59

Today, I got a call from my son’s teacher. Apparently, while doing a test, he responded to the question, "Predict how the government will change in the next ten years" with, "I’m not psychic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 170

Teenage kicks are hard to beat

By oh my sweet summer child - 26/07/2023 10:00

Today, I’m not sure how to explain to my naive daughter that her new boyfriend is playing her. She insists that he’s just shy and that’s the reason he demands that no one knows about them, and pretends not to know her when other people are around. She thinks them having a secret is “romantic”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 156

Heavy load

By w…… - 28/04/2021 23:01

Today, I was getting ready for work. When I stepped back, my ankle rolled and my fat ass landed on it with my foot sideways under me. Now I’m in a boot for 6 weeks and have 6 weeks of physical therapy ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 229

Thoughts and prayers

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 20:00 - United States - Southampton

Today, I lost keys to my car, studio, house, and a storage unit, in a busy city park with no chance of recovering them after searching for hours. I have to cancel work and my car is going to be towed because of street sweeping. O, woe is me! Send a prayer and love, and perhaps my keys by carrier pigeon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 271

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The Top

Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 204

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 442

You deserved it 9 119

Today, I was paired up with my long-term crush for a project. She introduced herself to me and asked if I was new this year. We've gone to the same school since kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 902

You deserved it 3 598

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 947

You deserved it 7 081

Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 413

Today, as a lifelong insomnia sufferer, I was having an awful night. After tossing and turning in my bed for several hours, I decided to try sleeping on the couch. Not only did I finally fall asleep, I was having one of the best dreams of my life… Until my neighbor’s brat had a tantrum at 6 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 103