The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

How the turntables…

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 04:00

Today, after two years of working from home, and being bugged by a relative every five minutes as I tried to work, I turned the tables by asking her something. I promptly got chewed out for interrupting something she was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 126

Nature is healing

By Anonymous - 06/03/2022 04:00 - Germany - Zittau

Today, I’m proud and happy for having used my bike instead of my car for almost two months. Well, I was. Until I discovered that my car, though clean, dry and with a moisture absorber inside, has started to grow mold. Everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 160

News from the dating scene

By Back to my shell I go - 01/03/2022 04:00 - Australia

Today, I realised that the first guy I've dated in five years has ghosted me. It took a lot for me to agree to go on a couple of dates with him, and I thought they went really well. Apparently not, seeing as it's been over two weeks since he last texted. Self confidence = shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 152

Cut short

By Technomage - 27/03/2021 11:01

Today, my first day at the job, I went up to my coworker and began to ask her name. She cut me off and snapped, “I have a name.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 71

Ace in the hole

By Anonymous - 09/05/2022 06:00

Today, I have a hemorrhoid and a cold. Every time I cough or sneeze, it feels like someone is stabbing me in the anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 102

Mr Commitment

By Alexander - 07/08/2022 02:00

Today, my ex is calling everyone I know, telling them I ruined her life. I'm not built for serious relationships, I was very open with her about that, the moment stuff gets serious I freak out, yet she chased me at every stage, then blamed me when I couldn't handle her demands for serious commitment, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 500

Go on, give me one

By Anonymous - 10/09/2022 21:30

Today, I’ve had it with my best friend. She is a very jealous individual, who is never happy for me. I told her I was going to be a grandma again to ANOTHER set of twins, this time paternal, and we are going to have 6 grandbabies now. She got an attitude, and said, “Well, isn’t that nice” and then insulted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 328

Fragile

By Ouch - 18/01/2021 08:02

Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 149

Welcome back

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 14:00 - Australia

Today, I came back to work after 4 days off, as I'd worked a whole month with no weekends or days off, 8-12 hours per day. I came back to over 200 unread emails, 300 emails to send, and over 50 arrears collection calls to make by 2pm. It appears that my coworker did nothing the whole time I was off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 118

No spoilers

By Anonymous - 22/12/2021 08:01

Today, I've been perfectly dodging all spoilers for Spider-Man: No Way Home. Deleted social media, muted some people I don't trust, everything. Then someone came in my university WhatsApp group (which I need to check for exam notes) leaked it an hour before I was gonna go watch it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 254

He's a keeper

By Anonymous - 19/12/2022 15:00

Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 134

Ghost

By Braden - 28/10/2021 17:00

Today, I texted the guy I went out with last night. He'd told me he’d text me when he got home, but he never did. Cracking a joke, I asked him if he was homeless or something, since he broke his word. He replied, “No, I’m just not that into you. Have a nice life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 504

Not anyone's favorite

By Anonymous - 13/11/2022 10:00

Today, everyone at school told me to wish my brother a happy birthday. We're twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 105

White Lotus vibes

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 10:00

Today, I had to deal with a guest who'd left his shoes outside his door to be polished. I told him our hotel doesn’t offer shoe polishing, so if they’re gone they must have been stolen. He then accused me of stealing them for myself, even though I’m a woman with feet 6 sizes smaller than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 97

Happy/Sad

By McNuggets - 19/08/2023 08:00

Today, I started the job of my dreams, which I’ve spent 20 years trying to get, only to get a call that my mom, who supported me when no one else would or could, went into a coma. I didn’t even get to tell her I started the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 106

My house, your rules

By stepmom to be - 03/07/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé's kids say they never want to come back to our house because I’m “mean” and have "too many rules." Rules such as brushing teeth twice a day, flushing the toilet after every use, no food allowed in the bedrooms, and no sleeping in until 2pm. Guess that makes me unreasonable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 206

Gaslighting

By Anonymous - 16/01/2022 11:01

Today, after I found out that my new partner was messaging her ex, and she hid it from me, lied about it, and made out I was seeing things, we got over it, because after all I thought it was an innocent enough explanation and I believed her, she has now been doing it again with another ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 429

Chronic

By sick not siiiick - 02/08/2021 18:01 - Australia

Today, after years of being unable to work because of chronic illness, I finished my second week of a new job. I'm so utterly and completely wiped out, I don't know if I can continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 154

Addicted to the anticipation

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 07:59 - United States - Verona

Today, as every day for the past three weeks, I had to hear my housemate complain about an order being delayed. The last couple of orders took two months to arrive, and she decided to order yet again from that company, so she checks daily and I have to hear about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 142

Don't mention the helicopter parents!

By Anonymous - 27/04/2022 12:00

Today, I got an F because I’m an idiot and wrote my essay on WW1 instead of WW2. I offered to resubmit a correct essay, but my mom stormed to school to demand it be changed to at least a B, because it was a good essay, even if it was on the wrong war. God, she’s impossible and embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 323

Bigger cages! Longer chains!

By naas1201 - 28/11/2020 05:02 - China

Today, I'm working in China and I had to explain to my boss that no, it's not okay to not pay me for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 93

Mixed results

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 17:00

Today, I realized that in the 3 and half month relationship with a wonderful guy I truly like, so far I've masturbated more than the whole year I was single before I met him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 280

Long time gone

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 18:01

Today, I haven't heard from my girlfriend for over a week, after being in a relationship for 7 years with her. She'd called me, saying she had to care for her ex-husband because he had suffered a heart attack. Guess we're over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 164

Barf

By sewraerae - 06/12/2021 22:59 - United States - Tampa

Today, while I took a short nap, my husband thought it would be a good idea to give our 9 month-old a shake with a whole milk base, despite being told several times he can’t digest it. Later, while we were out and about, he threw up. I rode home in the backseat with the baby, covered in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 146

Housemates from hell

By Anonymous - 15/01/2021 13:58

Today, my housemate saw some stuff in the barn, thought I surely wouldn’t be using it, so he stacked lots of lawn furniture on top. The “stuff” in question? Bales of hay. As in, daily food for my horses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 101

Meme wars

By Anonymous - 01/02/2021 22:57

Today, I found out my boyfriend is cheating on me via a meme. What the fuck? With a friend of mine as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 138

Kevin Shields is here

By Ring-a-Ding-Ding - 19/12/2022 12:00

Today, I woke up to find out that my tinnitus has suddenly worsened. I used to be able to just ignore it, but now it's ridiculous. Almost everyone says I'm "too young" to have it, especially this bad. I say those people can go fuck themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 123

Well done Cooper

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 02:02 - United States - Brush Prairie

Today, my phone chose not to deliver a message to my girlfriend. This isn't the first time either; It has a habit of failing to deliver or receive messages to/from her, making it look like I'm ignoring her by not responding. It only does this with her, none of my other contacts. My phone may be trying to sabotage my relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 164

Sucker

By Brenden - 25/01/2021 13:59

Today, my ex-girlfriend called me say she needed her car repaired. I fixed it as fast as I could so she could get back on her way, only to find out she’s on her way to my friend's place to have her guts rearranged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 743

AMERICA, **** YEAH!

By WhataStrangeTripThisIs - 25/09/2022 23:30

Today, I was born and raised in Georgia, and later moved to Florida for college. I'm not sure which state has more embarrassing representation right now. I'm literally scared of what new laws might be passed, or what rights taken away. I wish I had enough money to move to another country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 606

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who insisted that I go with him to his friend's house party to meet people and socialize, as I'm new to the city. When I got there, I realised he had invited two other girls as his date as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 164

Today, I finally got up the courage to talk to my four-year boyfriend about how insecure I've been feeling in our relationship recently, and how I needed his support while I try to get my self-esteem back on-track. He fell asleep mid-conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 118

You deserved it 5 286

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 932

You deserved it 9 151

Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00 pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a field sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test in front of all the students and parents. I blew 0.06. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 047

You deserved it 102 944

Today, I noticed my kitten was growling and twitching in his sleep. I tried to wake him up by gently prodding him. He responded by waking up and attacking my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 779

You deserved it 31 305

Today, I was having sex with a guy that I had been dating for a while, when I suddenly went into an anaphylactic shock. Instead of helping me and calling the emergency line as I was losing consciousness, the guy drunkenly slurred to me that I should "just calm down" and then went into a deep snoring sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 941

You deserved it 535