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The speech took less than 2 minutes, it was a brief message thanking everyone for coming and how me and my husband greatly appreciate it. The party was the only way to gather my whole family. A dinner reservation would cost hundreds of dollars considering the size of my family. My brother just led my mother out and we carried on. Yes, we did supply a little wine but be didn't want a lot of alcohol considering I am pregnant and I don't want anyone drunk. Just clearing it up (:

By soon to be unemployed - 28/01/2014 22:36 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 713

You deserved it 3 958

By Sam - 04/05/2014 06:12 - United States - Eureka

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 711

You deserved it 5 224

Noooooooo!

By please don't back that thing up - 09/08/2013 05:00 - United States

Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 711

You deserved it 6 255

By Dafuq happen there - 23/08/2014 07:34 - South Africa

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 710

You deserved it 6 660

By jordyn173 - 08/04/2012 03:19 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a basketball game. A very pretty woman sat next to him. During the third quarter, the kiss cam came on. But it didn't show him and me, it showed him and the other girl. And they kissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 710

You deserved it 3 595

By just_a_bit_akwRd - 04/08/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 704

You deserved it 7 820

By AirOne - 12/11/2008 14:39 - United States

Today, right after sex, my girlfriend apologized to the neighbor for the screaming. He thanked her for the entertainment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 703

You deserved it 10 838

MAKE IT STOOOOOP!

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 05:14 - United States

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 703

You deserved it 5 077

By not the cook - 09/06/2013 17:38 - United States - Wernersville

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 702

You deserved it 15 064

By Noname - 24/02/2009 18:13 - United States

Today, I asked my dad if he could fix my bed. It had been squeaking for some time. He shook his head no. He then continued with, "Your bed is a security system and as far as I can tell, you haven't gotten any in weeks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 700

You deserved it 5 279

By Anonymous - 06/05/2013 08:35 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 699

You deserved it 6 607

By not even getting any of her shrimp - 11/02/2014 21:50 - United States - Draper

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 699

You deserved it 6 523

Brain fog

By dhskkf - 28/08/2013 00:23 - United States

Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 699

You deserved it 7 374

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 18:07 - Egypt - Cairo

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 698

You deserved it 3 879

By easteryegg - 06/04/2013 00:13 - United States - Rensselaer

Today, at the store, I noticed a girl eyeing a chocolate bunny. Her mom refused to buy it, saying they didn't have enough money. She started crying, so I decided to make her day and offered to buy it for her. Her mom reacted by slapping me across the face and calling me a "pedo." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 697

You deserved it 8 606

easteryegg tells us more.

easteryegg 8

Saturday 6 April 2013 20:46

Op, here. I'm fifteen years old and am absolutely not a pedo. I am a boy and thought that I was doing something good for the girl. All of the comments about healthy eating habits are not true, the woman was buying a lot of candy, but wouldn't let the girl have the rabbit. Idk why, she reminded me of my little cousin and I decided to buy it for her. The mother did keep the rabbit, though, so I don't know why she lashed out at me :/

By romance sucks. - 18/12/2013 21:20 - United States - Spencer

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 691

You deserved it 3 967