The Top

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CTE maxxing

By brokeskull - 20/03/2026 09:00

Today, we were heckling a friend who showed up to skate wearing a helmet, laughing at him for not being confident in his skating. I go to stunt so I can mog him, slip, and wake up in the hospital with stitches and a killer headache. Mogged by a helmet wearer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 863

What did you expect?

By Overzealous cop of the day - 10/04/2025 06:00 - United States - New York

Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 1 470

Because I got high

By Sam - 08/09/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was high on Marijuana and scrolling through Facebook when I couldn't figure out why I was seeing so much FML Posts no matter how far I scrolled and I was getting annoyed. Then I realized I was specifically on the FML Facebook Page and forgot because I was so high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 449

Stalkerish

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of the cute guy sitting across from me on the train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just stared at me, clearly aware of what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 723

As it should

By What have I done? - 16/08/2025 12:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was so envious of my thin, pretty, genetically perfect sister getting a date that I lied to my mom, saying she was a prostitute. I made a fake escort page and used her pics. My mom lost her shit and kicked my sister out, but now the guilt is eating me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 1 571

What did you expect?

By It was just a prank!!!!!! - 21/03/2026 03:00

Today, I did a prank to my teacher where I screamed "ALLAHU AKBAR" and pretended to pull a weapon from my pack. I got suspended for two weeks. My dad is so pissed that he's taken time off work and is forcing me to do brutally tough house chores all day, every day, for no pay. This is too much! FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 1 089

Suspicious minds

By Embarrassed boss - 17/09/2025 09:00

Today, I saw one of my employees sipping from a beer bottle at work. I marched to his desk, snatched the bottle, and said, "Drinking on the job? You're fired. Get out." I then looked at the bottle. It was kombucha. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 786

Paparazzo

By Paulalala - 10/09/2025 09:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried to take a photo of the guy next to me on the bus because he looked like one of the actors in Harry Potter. My flash went off, and the picture was so close-up it looked like I was documenting his acne. He glared at me for the rest of the ride, which was short because I got off at the next stop, nowhere near my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40

You deserved it 560

Waste not, want not

By Anonymous - 21/03/2026 15:00

Today, my boyfriend sent me a long text breaking up with me and calling me "selfish", all because I fed my dog half of the roast he made us for dinner. He knows damn well I feed her a raw diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 412

Stay out of trouble, kids

By Anonymous - 14/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I complimented a woman on her "beautiful pregnancy glow" at the grocery store. She wasn’t pregnant. She was holding a melon. I’ve never backed out of a conversation so fast in my life. Note to self: Don't go grocery shopping after a night of drinking and no sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 736

Anger management

By Janisha - 21/03/2026 20:00

Today, our children were playing in the apartment, and I guess it made too much noise for the guy below, because he started banging on the ceiling. My boyfriend got so pissed that he grabbed his gun, stormed off, and threatened the guy below with it. He's on parole so I'm praying he doesn't report it to the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 326

Masterful gambit

By what just happened - 13/03/2026 22:00

Today, a cute guy asked me out for coffee. I like him but didn't want it to be easy, so I said, "Coffee dates are for broke bums, aim a little higher." He said, "Aight I will, peace out" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 1 342

Gambling is evil

By mr.DiddyEpsteen - 02/11/2025 15:00

Today, I got off a boring day at work and went to the casino because my wife wanted me to go and it sounded fun. I have been sitting here doing nothing but talk about people's lives in the non-smoking section. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 419

Today, my boss screamed at me for almost an hour because, apparently, I hurt my coworker's feelings when I stopped speaking to her after finding out that she was sleeping with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 690

You deserved it 2 752

Today, I pointed out to my boyfriend how Valentine's day, my birthday, and our one-year anniversary were all coming up in the next few weeks. He then promptly broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 965

You deserved it 9 007

Today, I was walking in the woods with the girl I like when I saw a vine overhanging a small creek. Trying to make her laugh, I took off my shirt and started swinging on the vine like Tarzan. The vine snapped and I fell into the creek. Guess who's missing half the skin on his back? FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 2 367

Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 350

Today, I was walking down the street when a "homeless" man asked for money. I gave him a dollar and he got up and called his friend on an iPhone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 055

You deserved it 8 330