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Hey guys, OP here...I can't believe I forgot to log in :P anyways, I decided to be completely honest with the guy and end things. It was a little scary, seeing as he also knows where I live. He was in denial at first, but in the end he accepted that I wasn't interested. I still can't get a good night's rest though...

By Charles - 18/05/2011 17:13 - Norway

Today, I finally found out who has been hacking my email account to send dirty messages to my teacher. My dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 093

You deserved it 3 927

By Sarah - 10/03/2009 17:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 025

You deserved it 29 855

Tricked

By Dannnn - 10/06/2021 10:59

Today, I met a super gorgeous girl at the bar. We laughed together over drinks and it was all perfect, until she told me she wasn’t from this town. We hugged goodbye and she left. When I went to pay our tab, I realized I’d been pickpocketed by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 22/02/2013 02:56 - United States - New York

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 667

You deserved it 51 533

Dick move

By Gabby - 14/06/2021 04:01

Today, a police officer showed up to my house and informed me that my boyfriend was killed in an accident. Later, I found out it was a prank set up by a friend. He thought faking his death would be easier than confessing that he was leaving me for someone else. He didn’t want to see me get "upset". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 84

By an idiot - 16/02/2013 18:03 - Australia

Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 033

You deserved it 7 839

Dude, seriously?

By nuberific - 05/03/2009 18:45 - Canada

Today, I was in the changing room at the local YMCA. I went to use the hair dryer but couldn't because a naked old man was bent over, butt cheeks spread wide with his hands, and ass aimed at the dryer. He seemed to be enjoying it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 377

You deserved it 3 502

Unhappy birthday

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 19:00 - Australia

Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 109

You deserved it 209

By Meaghan - 12/02/2013 17:41 - United States - North Myrtle Beach

Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 238

You deserved it 3 754

By Devin - 21/06/2019 22:17

Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 746

Fortress of solitude

By Anonymous - 29/08/2022 18:00

Today, my son hates people so much he's working three jobs to be able move out and pay for his own place. He got the keys today and when I asked if he was having a housewarming party, he told me he’s not giving his address out to anyone, and no one is invited, ever, not even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 660

Ooooommmmmmmm

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I had to ask my mum not to meditate while driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 217

You deserved it 2 205

By Anonymous - 02/06/2010 18:17 - United States

Today, my wife changed her facebook status from "married" to "widowed". I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 42

By Peter80 - 03/03/2009 14:55 - Netherlands

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 229

You deserved it 73 671

By Sarahfizzeller - 26/05/2010 20:13 - United States

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend is moving out to California to be with a girl he met while on Chatroulette. We broke up because he thought we were moving too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 668

You deserved it 3 401

Gonna need that channel name

By alyssac11 - 25/05/2010 04:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 636

You deserved it 4 263

What just happened?

By Anonymous - 02/02/2013 23:03 - Belgium - Schepdaal

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 318

You deserved it 3 784

By fmylifebigtime - 25/02/2012 14:35 - United States

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 635

You deserved it 3 493

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The Top

Today, I was fired from my job because my boss "doesn't think I'm happy there". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 337

You deserved it 1 337

Today, I found out that my workplace still won't fire my coworker who is extremely rude to customers. Last week, he called a black woman the n-word right to her face. All he did was just get yelled at and told to get back to work. No matter how many complaints, they simply won't fire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 66

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 829

You deserved it 12 569

Today, I can't sit down for a book or some TV without my wife coming up and moaning at me to "get a hobby, get out of the house once in a while, you never do anything anymore." I have a healthy, balanced social life, but maybe I want to relax in my own house for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 88

Today, $1,000 were stolen from a deposit box to which only I and a coworker have access. I was so nervous during my interrogation that the cop said he had no doubt I was the one who stole the money. I had nothing to do with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 883

You deserved it 2 111

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 625

You deserved it 5 824