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After posting this, I followed your suggestions and took it to the school. It turns out, it was two of my 'friends' who got a hold of my school pic, enlarged it, and made posters to put around. After some investigation, the school found them. You were right, the school was angry that they put my picture on display on school property without my permission. They got suspended for a week. Thank you guys for all your support and suggestions!

It's all balls to me

By anonymous - 01/12/2016 16:00 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my family was watching a football game and kept mentioning their team's quarterback's name and, as I'm not a football fan by any means, asked them who this was. My grandma then turned to me and said, "This is why you don't have a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 397

You deserved it 1 312

Patronizing

By wipeoffincircles - 27/05/2017 03:00 - United States - Gresham

Today, at work, my manager thought I needed to be showed how to use Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 520

You deserved it 503

By don't cry over spilled milk - 23/11/2016 14:33 - United States - Elmendorf Afb

Today, after struggling with breastfeeding and trying to build up my milk supply, I was finally able to pump a full 6 oz! I celebrated by immediately spilling it all over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 251

You deserved it 1 444

By LustyDragon - 05/06/2017 14:00

Today, my husband won't shave his beard, despite the fact it grows in wiry and looks like pubic hair. He is now accusing me of "not loving him for who he is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 1 269

By hoppgrasser - 12/11/2016 15:17 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out a girl I've had a crush on for months now. She told me I was very cute and then walked off. I still don't have an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 578

You deserved it 912

By Anonymous - 20/09/2015 15:23

Today, I accidentally farted at a board meeting. My boss thought it came from the guy sitting next to me and gave him hell for being a pig. I was too mortified to say anything, even when the guy blamed it on me, which caused my boss to rage at him for lying and then to kick him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 841

You deserved it 12 133

I'll take what I can get

By Queen LaQueefah - 13/09/2015 11:52 - United Kingdom - Chesterfield

Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 219

You deserved it 3 407

By Anonymous - 08/05/2013 06:59 - United States

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 627

You deserved it 12 464

By blondie107 - 07/05/2013 00:52 - United States - Richardson

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 562

You deserved it 44 230

blondie107 tells us more.

blondie107 20

Monday 1 July 2013 22:40

Today was my first success! ... Sort of. Anyone else have parents like this? I finally managed to lie undetected but.. Well.. Like I said, sort of a success.

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 140

You deserved it 8 585

By I hate retail - 17/10/2016 22:12 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for refusing to give a found credit card to a woman it didn't belong to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 093

You deserved it 773

By eyebags - 10/10/2016 13:04 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my roommate observed that if my eyes were turned upside down, they would look the same - and proved it with Photoshop. After a bit of thought, she decided that it's because the bags under my eyes are dark enough to look like eyelids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 504

You deserved it 921

By Szaszaspasz - 24/08/2015 22:35 - Canada - Victoria

Today, my date came to pick me up for a date. As I was getting into his car, a large blister on my foot burst. My foot is now swimming in a pool of hot, liquid pus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 883

You deserved it 3 095

Szaszaspasz tells us more.

Szaszaspasz 26

Wednesday 26 August 2015 2:28

Hi! It's the OP. The blister formed earlier in the day because of a new pair of running shoes I was breaking in. The blister didn't seem too bad, but it got filled up as the day progressed. As I got into the car, it burst. I never let on because my shoes were not open-toes. The date was great, we went to Pizza Hut, but I got tomato sauce on my outfit. I'm a klutz FML This was in 1990. I was too nervous to run back up to my barracks and do something about the blister. I was 19 at the time.

By Walking in a Winter Wonderland - 12/09/2016 10:51 - United States - Jupiter

Today, my dandruff got so bad that when I sneezed on the bus, it created a "blizzard" of dandruff, covering me, and two others in it. I'm now known as "Winter Wonderland". FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 356

You deserved it 2 916

By sadgirlhours - 26/08/2019 19:01 - United States - Gulfport

Today, I tried plugging in my Gatorade bottle with a charging cable instead of my phone. I couldn't tell if the reason was because I was high, or I'm just really that fucking stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 1 873

I'm outta here

By Goober - 20/09/2017 14:30

Today, I moved in with my in-laws and don't yet have money to pay rent, so I'm keeping to myself and staying out of trouble. While trying to write a thank you card, I spilled black ink all over the new rug and it bled through to the carpet. I might need to find a new place to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 208

You deserved it 653

By Broken - 03/08/2010 12:11 - United Arab Emirates

Today, my fiancé invited his pregnant co-worker for dinner. After we finished eating, he sat down and explained to me that her kid is his and that he's been cheating on me with her for 5 months. She had a smile on her face during the entire thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 240

You deserved it 4 739

By CliffyB03 - 01/08/2016 21:00 - United States - Coraopolis

Today, while at work as a cashier, one lady's total was $1.32. She handed me the dollar, and then apologized. When I looked at her, confused as to what she was sorry about, she went wrist deep into her bra, grabbed some change, and quickly put it into my hand. It was wet and it smelt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 337

You deserved it 2 254

CliffyB03 tells us more.

CliffyB03 28

Tuesday 2 August 2016 16:10

I'm actually surprised this one got published. But it was 90 degrees out, and my hand smelt like boob sweat for a good half hour until I was able to go a scrub my hand clean.

By slaughterteddy - 20/07/2016 23:23 - United States

Today, I spent two hours trying to catch a urine sample whilst at urgent care due to my inability to pee in public restrooms. I finally managed one, and was so excited by my success that I fumbled it and spilled it on my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 057

You deserved it 2 557

By Anonameow - 19/07/2016 13:49

Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 907

You deserved it 2 511

By damngotkik - 20/12/2017 19:00

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to use an electric sander on my arm during our construction class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 848

You deserved it 391

Busted

By well SHIT - 27/02/2014 21:46 - United States - Little Elm

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 880

You deserved it 61 808

By Phobia - 29/12/2017 15:00

Today, thanks to my new anti-anxiety meds, I am finally no longer agoraphobic. Today also marks 5 weeks of constant diarrhea due to the same meds. Guess who's not leaving the house anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 076

You deserved it 313

Didn't see ya there!

By jazojigga - 02/03/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the crosswalk. Suddenly, I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 810

You deserved it 52 312

By ZombiexIce - 10/02/2014 03:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 450

You deserved it 5 789

ZombiexIce tells us more.

ZombiexIce 6

Monday 10 February 2014 19:41

Hey, this is the OP. I have owned rats and mice as pets, but with a wild one you really don't want them running loose around a toddler. As for getting a cat, I have been trying to get a kitten for my son, but our landlord wants a huge deposit. We are buying a humane trap and letting him go somewhere far away. We have temporarily plugged the hole he was using to get in until payday. My husband was jokingly threatening. He is just a big softie sometimes. :) We got a good laugh out of this, before I realized it was a mouse I ran screaming out of the bathroom with my pants around my knees. Glad everyone got a laugh out of this, we did!

By Mike - 25/04/2011 21:39

Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 771

You deserved it 6 402