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The more you know

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a stranger. We made awkward small talk until the elevator started smelling like something was burning. Turns out, the elevator was overheating. We had to spend 30 minutes stuck there, and I learned way too much about this guy’s weird foot fungus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 61

Say it, don't spray it

By Yak - 09/08/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 52

How could you be so heartless?

By Bruh - 11/08/2025 08:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, my mother and my sister chewed me out for not attending my sister's birthday party. I'm sorry for having both of my fucking legs broken in a motorcycle accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 63

Law and order

By Karen - 15/08/2025 03:00

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 101

Sabotage

By FuckUp - 24/08/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, I can't afford to lose my job but I've been consciously sabotaging my job for months now. My manager pulled me aside to let me know that I am untrustworthy and need to improve. I'm smart and have no idea why I'm doing this to myself. I had a great work ethic in my previous job, even winning awards for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 495

Respect the hustle

By Anonymous - 05/09/2025 12:00 - South Africa - Nelspruit

Today, I found out, after months of being made to think I'm crazy, that my girlfriend has a complete online presence across 10+ cam/OnyFans/websites/Telegram, etc. It's my biggest trigger, my previous partner did the same on a much bigger scale. She denied it to the point of me moving out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 101

Kinda gross

By Anonymous - 21/09/2025 09:00

Today, while stripping the bed, I noticed black dots on my husband's side of the mattress, and only on his side. That’s when I realised it was mould, because he doesn’t like to towel dry, he likes to let the fan dry him while he’s lying on the bed wet and warm, perfect for mould. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 77

Desperate housewives

By Anonymous - 02/10/2025 00:00

Today, I thought I was waving at my neighbor, who was also waving enthusiastically back. After smiling and gesturing, I realized she was actually cleaning her windows. I was flirting with Windex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 249

You deserved it 175

Dodger

By Abandoned - 29/10/2025 12:00

Today, I went on a Tinder date that was going surprisingly well. After dinner, she excused herself to the restroom… and never came back. I sat there for 25 minutes before realizing she had texted me: “Sorry, I saw my ex here and panicked. Hope you enjoy the fries.” I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 66

Oh shit

By TGIF - 09/11/2025 00:00

Today, I received a package labeled “Confidential.” Excited, I opened it in front of my coworkers, thinking it was a PR gift. It was the new toilet seat I'd mistakenly sent to my work address instead of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 449

Freud would have field day

By Anonymous - 10/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was about to hook up with my crush, but he turned out to have a micro penis and couldn’t even get it hard. Then I woke up. I can’t even get laid properly in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 114

Honey, I'm home!

By Anonymous - 26/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 77

Nature calls

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 22:00

Today, I was out hiking when I needed to go pee. I thought no one was there because it isn't popular so I pulled down my pants. I heard footsteps so I pulled my pants back up and kept walking. There were people behind me, and one of them came up and said, "Hey, your undies are showing." I was wearing hot pink ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 314

Make it stop

By Christ on.a bike - 21/12/2025 15:00

Today, I wore my Christmas sweater to work, one with lights sewn into it. Halfway through a meeting, they started flashing uncontrollably and playing tinny carols. I couldn’t turn them off. I had to go shove the whole sweater into a locker in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 260

I just wanna go home

By Irish goodbyyye - 23/12/2025 09:00

Today, I tried to leave a rowdy Christmas party early. The apartment door creaked loudly, someone asked where I was going, and suddenly I was explaining my schedule to 10 drunk people. I stayed another hour to avoid more drunk people telling me to, "COME ON, STAY, HAVE A DRINK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 118

Shoot your shot

By Anonymous - 25/12/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to ask out the girl I’ve had a crush on for years. I was so nervous, I got confused and sent her a text meant for my best friend that said, "I’m about to ask her out. Pray I don’t puke on her." She responded with a laughing emoji and said, "You really need to work on your game." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 440

How've you been?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I mistook a random stranger in the grocery store for my friend and started complaining about how annoying my coworkers are at the moment. The stranger just nodded, concerned, and slowly backed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 558

Average Millwall fan

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I went to a job interview and tried to break the ice by making a joke. In doing so, I accidentally insulted the interviewer’s favorite football team. He spent the next 10 minutes explaining why I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 518

Knackered

By I'mtoooldforthis - 08/03/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, my toddler is sick yet again. The only way he will sleep is me walking with him. It's 2:30 am, and I'm supposed to start back to full time employment in… 5 hours. Parenthood is not for the weak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 137

Leaving blues

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was at the airport waiting for my flight when I realized I had forgotten my passport at home. I panicked, called my mom in a frenzy, only to realize I was holding my passport in my wallet the entire time. It was so embarrassing, and my mom will probably never let me forget it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 442

Unlovable

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 23:00

Today, I told my family that I have a girlfriend, and showed them her Facebook. They immediately started taking bets on when I’d mess it up, when she’d dump me, whether she actually existed, if I’d just made a fake Facebook, or whether she was a pro I hired. I hate my siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 143

Coated in embarrassment

By Kate - 26/03/2025 03:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I ran to hug my mom at the airport, but when I stepped back, I realized I was hugging a total stranger who just so happened to be wearing the same coat as her usual coat. She smiled awkwardly as I backed away and said, “Sorry, I thought you were my mom.” The next level of embarrassment came when I looked up and saw my actual mom staring at me in horror from a few feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 430

Curb your curb

By Anonymous - 07/04/2025 09:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, on my way out of a coffee shop, I tripped over a curb while holding a full cup of coffee. The coffee flew in slow motion, hitting a stranger right in the face. As I stood there, frozen, I realized the puddle of coffee was now surrounding both of us. All I could do was apologize while trying to avoid a public fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 104

Dating is hell

By Pauline - 14/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, after I finally matched with someone who could spell, had a job, and liked dogs. Mid-date, he said climate change is a hoax and offered me Ivermectin for my allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 176

Bring headphone jacks back on all smartphones!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2025 03:00 - Netherlands - The Hague

Today, I bought new earphones for my phone so I could finally listen to music again. Not an hour later I broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 314

Slick

By Anonymous - 19/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a meeting with my team, and at the end, we were all excited about a new project. I tried to be casual and give one of my coworkers a high-five, but he didn’t see me and started walking away. I awkwardly high-fived myself while hoping anyone else didn't see me either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 119

Should be safe… right?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 15:00 - Ireland - Cork

Today, a friend invited me over for dinner. She presented me with a "gourmet" homemade meal. As I started eating, I realized it tasted… off. She looked at me expectantly, so I politely ate it all. Afterwards, she told me it was a new recipe she was trying "tuna casserole" made with canned tuna… which we found out later expired in 2015. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 101

Scaffolding?

By NervousDog - 25/05/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I spent most of the day with my stinkiest co-worker's soggy shoes level with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 75

Where did you learn that one?

By Kilamo - 19/06/2025 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, I tried to impress a French student by saying “Bonjour!” but instead said “Bordel!” which means “Brothel.” She laughed, and so did every one of the french students around us. My cultural street cred is officially dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 485

Numerophobia

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 12:00 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, my coworkers quietly ditched the project I spent months working on, because typing in numbers into a website "is too hard." Our boss is out, so I have no recourse. Why do I bother? These people hate numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 79

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The Top

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 594

You deserved it 10 446

Today, I pulled over because my cell phone was ringing, as it's now illegal to use in a car. I finished the call when a motorcycle cop on side of road pulls up behind me and comes over. The reason? "You pulled off the road and it was suspicious, then I ran your plate…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 372

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 701

You deserved it 48 088

Dieting is so last season. Get ready for hibernation though... It's gonna be huge in a few months.

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 93

Today, I walked into work feeling confident in my new outfit. It wasn’t until lunchtime that a colleague pointed out the price tag hanging from my skirt. I’d been flaunting my ass's price all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 368

Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 068

You deserved it 5 559