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One for the British boomers

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 20:00

Today, it's been about three weeks since I had a very vivid sex dream about a tall man, but had no idea who it was. Then today my grandad was watching old comedies and there the guy was, Bernard Bresslaw from the Carry On movies. Why brain? Why now and why him? I’ve not watched those movies in decades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 76

Consent

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 03:00

Today, I fully intended to start going to the gym so I set my alarm an hour early so I could go before work and get it over with. Alas, when the alarm went off and I saw that horrible "5 a.m." on my phone, my brain put me straight back to sleep without my consent. I ended up being late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 348

Downloading

By Always less important than video games - 12/12/2025 00:00

Today, when I got home, the apartment was clean for once. I gasped in surprise, and my boyfriend came out of the bathroom, carried me to the bedroom, and brutally ravished me. Afterwards, I asked him what brought this on. "Well, I bought a new game and it took forever to download..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 265

Tired and emotional

By Tired mommy - 19/11/2025 00:00

Tonight, my 7-year-old begged me for a bedtime story. Ten minutes in, I was the one nodding off while he was wide awake. I fell asleep mid-sentence because he gently shook me and said, “Mom, you snore like a Grandpa.” Then he asked if I could “try again but stay awake this time.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 175

Many such cases

By Lonely Melanie - 20/11/2025 20:00

Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 112

Awkward

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 12:00

Today, I told my boyfriend about something that had happened “after you came to our school." He told me he'd gone to our school for every grade. I'd just never noticed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 429

Knock knock

By Concerned - 19/11/2025 03:00

Today, I thought my neighbors were having a loud argument, so I went to knock on their door to make sure everything was OK. They weren’t fighting, they were rehearsing lines for a community theater play. They invited me to the show. I still haven’t recovered from the embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 170

You're welcome

By Anonymous - 20/11/2025 22:00

Today, I did laundry at a laundromat for the first time. I then folded everything on the table, until an old man tapped my shoulder and said, “Uh, those are my socks.” I'd neatly folded his entire load of laundry. He took it back without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 386

Neat freak

By Carrie - 01/12/2025 15:00

Today, I cleaned my car for the first time in ages and proudly showed my friend how spotless it was. Right then, a gust of wind blew a huge mess of shit straight inside as I opened the door. She said, “Nature disagrees.” Shards of leaves and other bits of crap were everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 86

Cool

By Pauline - 14/12/2025 00:00

Today, I bought a new shirt I thought looked cool. At work, three people complimented me, then each one added a variation of, “My dad has the same one!” By lunch, my confidence had left the building entirely. A coworker even asked if I’d gotten it from the “retro section.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 157

Rolling thunder

By Dana - 21/11/2025 00:00

Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 322

Unusual home dynamic

By Anonymous - 24/11/2025 15:00

Today, I realized that my husband can call me a hoarder because I hide stuff for my son's lunch so it's his to eat. Not only is that what mothers do for their loved kids, he has been hoarding and hiding $100+ PlayStation store credits. Hoarding his own boy's prize for doing well, and now blames me if our son is slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 96

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 03:00

Today, as always, I had a desk nap on my lunch break with an alarm set to ensure I woke up. Some jackass disabled my alarm so I only woke up when my boss bull-roared directly in my ear about ignoring time sensitive emails and missing an entire Teams meeting. I’d been asleep for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 245

Counterproductive?

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 12:00

Today, I decided to be productive and clean behind my couch. I found dust, old receipts, and one sock I thought was stolen by the universe. When I stood up proudly, I smashed my head on the shelf above. I knocked down three picture frames. All shattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 93

Save the Roland Jupiter-8, save the world

By Sara - 12/12/2025 09:00

Today, I was setting up my keyboard when the stand came loose. The keyboard started to fall, so I tried to save it, held it up in the air, and ended up falling off the stool onto the floor. I’ll feel that tomorrow, but at least the keyboard survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 76

Clanker

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to clean my keyboard by turning it upside down and shaking it. Something important apparently fell out, because now the “E” key only works if I smack it hard enough to look like I’m typing angry emails. My coworkers are concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 107

Cool

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 03:00

Today, at the gym, I was trying to look cool doing pull-ups in front of someone I liked. On my first pull-up, my hand slipped, and I fell backwards onto a yoga ball, which shot me straight into another guy doing push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 358

Moving on

By Airos4 - 05/12/2025 09:00

Today, my ex-wife got engaged to the guy who she started dating two weeks into our six month "trial separation." I can't even get a date.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 107

Pure class

By Lisandra - 16/12/2025 00:00

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about his infidelity. I saw him at the mall with another woman at Victoria's Secret, and I took pictures from a distance. When I asked him why he did it, he told me, "If you have $20 to your name and you see a $100 bill on the ground, you're gonna pick it up, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 68

Are you good?

By I tried - 23/11/2025 00:00

Today, I tried to discreetly fix a wedgie while walking into a crowded store. Right as I yanked my waistband, the automatic doors opened and revealed a full line of people staring directly at me mid-adjustment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 265

Confused

By I…… - 10/12/2025 20:00

Today, I ran into someone at a party I thought was a coworker and started talking to them about the company we work for. He listened to me for a bit, then said, “I think you think I’m someone else.” I apologized to this total stranger, walked away, and spent the rest of the party avoiding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 157

Unsolicited advice

By Heather - 16/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was practicing a presentation while walking around my apartment. I didn’t realize my neighbor was standing outside my door, listening. When I opened it, he said, “Strong opening, but you lost confidence halfway.” I didn’t ask for notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 105

Ironic underpants

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 20:00

Today, I invested in some menstrual underwear to save money on sanitary products and for environmental reasons. I got to wear them only once before they were accidentally washed too hot and completely ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 145

Tubular Bells starts playing…

By Satan’s child - 19/11/2025 15:00

Today, my parents tried to stage an intervention for me. Drugs? No. Alcohol? Nope. Gambling? Nah ah. They wanted to intervene on behalf of my soul since I decided I no longer believe in their religion. I had to threaten to call the cops when the escalated to attempt a forced exorcism on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 84

It's always the last place you'd expect

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was looking for a tiny little container I use to keep my medication dosages when I travel. I checked just about every place I could think of, so where did I finally find it? Behind the wide open closet door. It had fallen out of my travel bag, which I'd used last week, and rolled behind the tiny nook it made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 87

Early Christmas party

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 20:00

Today, I apologised to my colleagues on Teams for leaving the Christmas party early. The only responses were that they didn’t realise I was actually there, or didn’t even know who I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 71

Twerking is for special occasions

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 15:00

Today, I literally had to say the words, “Please stop twerking” to my niece. She’s seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 66

Not now, Mon!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to show my boss a funny photo on my phone. As I handed it over, a notification popped up from my mom that said, “Did you finally meet a nice boy or are you still feral?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 95

Honey, I'm home!

By Anonymous - 26/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 71

Nature calls

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 22:00

Today, I was out hiking when I needed to go pee. I thought no one was there because it isn't popular so I pulled down my pants. I heard footsteps so I pulled my pants back up and kept walking. There were people behind me, and one of them came up and said, "Hey, your undies are showing." I was wearing hot pink ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 313

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The Top

Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 759

You deserved it 4 511

Today, when our boss told us he was giving himself the same raise as everyone else was getting, we thought he was finally being a decent human being. Nope. He meant it literally. His raise to himself is the same amount as the other 12 employees' raises combined. His raise is 12x what ours is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 74

Today, I found out from the doctor that I have a concussion. Was it from a wicked sports injury? No, my idiot brother decided to judo kick the door open while I was on the floor vacuuming the front carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 297

You deserved it 550

Today, I wrote an email for a job offer. I checked it, double-checked it, triple-checked it, and then sent it. It's only THEN that I realised my CV wasn't attached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 403

Today, I woke up to a squeaking noise and the feeling of something furry on my cheek. I smiled, thinking it was my guinea pigs nosing me awake. Then I remembered that my guinea pigs were in their cage on the other side of the room, and opened my eyes to see the biggest rat ever staring right at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 738

You deserved it 384

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 131

You deserved it 6 637