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hey guys, OP here, and thank you all so much for the well-wishes. I forgot to log in before I posted the fml. I had a meniscus repair surgery, actually the second time I've had it done. I'm loving all your puns though. and to those saying to take the stockings off for a short time, my doctor wants me to keep them on until tomorrow, so I'll have had them on for a full two days. I'm not allowed to shower yet, seeing as my surgery was yesterday and he wants me to wait 48 hours.

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 10:29 - United States

Today, I thought my family would like it if I celebrated the new year with them. My brother thought that I'd like him to shoot my butt with his new gun in celebration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 110

You deserved it 2 725

By tye61 - 16/01/2016 12:54 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 615

You deserved it 7 863

Tasty

By SillyScotsman - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Hamilton

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 655

You deserved it 7 711

By LovelessNewlywed - 14/12/2016 22:41

Today, for the first time since my partner moved in with me, I did one of my favourite things: I bought some nice cheese and a bottle of wine and went on to People of Walmart, just as I do every month or so. He called me a disgusting human being and went for a walk two hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 167

You deserved it 2 095

No, not you

By ditched - 06/08/2014 03:35 - United States - Ashland

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 052

You deserved it 3 844

By meepdaleap - 16/05/2013 21:50 - United States - Newport News

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 352

You deserved it 9 587

By Anonymous - 15/06/2014 21:29 - United States - Toledo

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 996

You deserved it 3 902

By Anonymous - 18/06/2011 22:00 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl has a crush on me. Too bad it's my co-worker's five year old granddaughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 227

You deserved it 4 331

By Anonymous - 05/07/2015 09:29 - United States - Beaverton

Today, my idiot boss placed an expensive order for anti-bullying banners that read: "Take a stand against bullying!" This would be fine if I didn't work in a specialized school for children in wheelchairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 114

You deserved it 1 862

By NeitherHrotsvitNorErkembaldus - 29/07/2016 21:21 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I learned that the hardest part of marrying a historian is choosing baby names. His top choices derive from two Roman magistrates, two abbesses, a tenth-century author, and an obscure Greek official. I already let him name our pug, for whom he chose the name "Tertullianus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 635

You deserved it 1 513

By ladams94 - 17/07/2016 18:39

Today, I have a Bachelors of Science at a top university and got denied by Chipotle for a part-time job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 052

You deserved it 1 259

ladams94 tells us more.

ladams94 12

Monday 18 July 2016 12:44

It wasn't a science degree... Just called a Bachelors of Science. I have food cooking experience as well as customer service experience but thanks for your input. Bye.

By Fridaythe12th - 15/03/2010 04:51 - United States

Today, I was so excited to finally use my $45 gift card to a hair salon. I walk up to the doors to find them locked, and to look inside to see that the salon was not only closed, but out of business. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 925

You deserved it 4 872

By Anonymous - 24/01/2012 00:10 - United States

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 533

You deserved it 2 928

My brother, the doofus

By AshlynnPrime - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Owensboro

Today, I was watching TV when my sister-in-law called me, laughing. It turns out my brother got his head stuck between the bars on the stairs. Again. My brother is 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 366

You deserved it 3 221

By WhyMe6495 - 06/10/2013 22:28 - United States - Niagara Falls

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 120

You deserved it 3 136

WhyMe6495 tells us more.

WhyMe6495 16

Monday 7 October 2013 12:35

I work at Kmart and yes this has happened a few times already and i've only worked there for one month

By blind_loser - 12/07/2009 01:19 - United States

Today, my best guy friend set me up on a blind date. Almost immediately after the guy and I sat down, he excused himself to make a call. A couple of feet away from our table, I heard him say, "Come on, Justin, this is the best you could do??" Over the phone. Justin is the guy who set us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 738

You deserved it 3 318

By lunab123 - 31/12/2014 20:59 - United States - Potomac

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 618

You deserved it 12 908

By MystoganFT - 17/12/2015 02:55 - United States - Emmaus

Today, some guy I don't know walked up to me and told me that he's determined to sleep with my girlfriend, then walked away while giving me the finger. I've never seen him before in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 241

You deserved it 1 838

Coincidence

By lostmystuff - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Livermore

Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 029

You deserved it 25 436

Time for a change

By whattalife - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 705

You deserved it 5 185

By uglyguy252 - 16/05/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, in class the guy next to me was talking to a girl across the room using gestures to help get across his message. Apparently, pointing at me is the best way to say "ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 467

You deserved it 3 644

Transit

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 02:43 - United States

Today, I sat right next to the door on the bus. When I went to get up, a man tripped and pushed me down the exit door stairs. I fell down and broke my ankle. While tending to my ankle, the bus doors closed and my backpack with my laptop, notes and calculator drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 897

You deserved it 2 381

By gunman - 20/10/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 937

You deserved it 45 286

By bevo - 26/08/2010 02:09 - Australia

Today, my date and I went to the movies. After the date, we were both on an instant chat room at our homes. Her personal message displayed "I think I love my ex again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 643

You deserved it 3 047

Perv!

By Thithien1 - 01/04/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 930

You deserved it 12 680

By GidleyWife - 30/07/2015 17:22 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my young stepdaughter decided that she should store her coins in my laptop's card reader slot and in the CD drive. I just bought the laptop last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 390

You deserved it 2 413

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 182

You deserved it 2 896

Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 979

You deserved it 5 721

Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 219

You deserved it 65 186

Today, I got so tired of my friends constantly pestering me about having a girlfriend that I downloaded Monika After Story. Now when they ask, I just say she's long-distance and values her privacy, so I can't show her to them. This is what my life has come to. Forever alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 509

Today, I threatened to break up with my boyfriend over the Trolley Games in Toontown Rewritten for trying to sabotage my scores. We're 24 and 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 1 768

Today, my man believes he could never be the cause of a breakup. His strategy for eternal love? Try not to feel anything, and if you do, do NOT show it or talk about it. Just completely refuse to engage with your partner in any meaningful way. No fighting equals happiness. Right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 421

You deserved it 253