By boobear511 - 03/11/2014 00:26 - United States - Rancho Cordova
By boobear511 - 03/11/2014 00:26 - United States - Rancho Cordova
By Anonymous - 21/12/2009 08:29 - United States
By meg__1798 - 09/12/2015 02:08 - United States - San Francisco
Hey guys its me OP, To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments! -OP
By Anonymous - 23/06/2013 04:10 - United States - Seattle
By OpenWide - 24/11/2009 03:22 - United States
I actually laughed at the time. Probably because I didn't know what to say. I can take a joke so I went out with him a few more times but the forwardness continued so I ended it... And he never got to find out just how big my mouth really is
By pixkalexi - 20/05/2013 20:14 - United States - North Easton
By chloecamp - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Ellington
By jobless - 16/05/2012 07:36 - United States - Groton
By elevator-troubles - 18/03/2009 07:59 - Australia
By Mandy - 01/03/2009 14:20 - United Kingdom
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By anon - 09/09/2013 21:51
By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 19:34 - United Kingdom
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By ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - 28/12/2015 05:43 - United States - San Francisco
By fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/07/2013 16:23 - United States
By CrappyCar - 14/05/2013 05:29 - United States
By RIP_Nose - 03/04/2014 21:48 - Germany - Aidenbach
By sotired - 05/03/2013 19:58 - Australia - Mona Vale
By Anonymous - 19/05/2015 20:58 - United Kingdom - Duns
By annoym - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By mochiko - 09/08/2009 07:28 - United States
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By CurseYouSonyaLee - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Midlothian
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By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 03:19 - Sweden - Stockholm
By JobHunter - 28/07/2009 12:27 - Malta
By Anonymous - 15/11/2012 19:47 - Ireland
By engagedmaybe - 02/02/2010 06:20 - United States
By Anonymous - 07/01/2010 18:56 - United States
Keywords
The cat was outside the door, wanting to get in.