The Top

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By itsover - 11/12/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 499

You deserved it 3 392

Non Confrontational

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 21:03 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 909

You deserved it 8 640

Thirfty and frugal

By BasicallySodaFlavoredWater - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents decided that the best way to save money was to dilute everything we drank with water. Only one more year of watered down soda and juice to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 402

You deserved it 2 498

Crowded

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - South Salem

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew, and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 495

You deserved it 5 993

By dr.mantistobagon - 27/08/2014 22:03 - United States - South Burlington

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 075

You deserved it 3 443

By emmingle - 13/05/2013 23:05 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 115

You deserved it 3 043

Pissed

By anonymous - 19/10/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I drove 100 miles from my parents' house to mine. I had only a few miles left when I realized I really had to pee. I didn't want to pull over somewhere when I was so close to home, so I sped up. A cop pulled me over a block from my house. I started to sob, and ended up peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 276

You deserved it 15 478

By devakii - 16/10/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 266

You deserved it 2 308

By Stevarious - 10/07/2015 15:49 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was finally starting to relax after a stressful and expensive move, where I had to give up half my belongings and furniture, as well as my cat. All the stress came rushing back as my new landlord told me that he's selling the building and I've got 30 days to vacate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 445

You deserved it 2 309

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 03/02/2014 21:29 - United Kingdom - Ipswich

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 575

You deserved it 6 709

Failure

By technologyfail - 26/08/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I discovered a bunch of emails from my old account that weren't forwarded to my new one. Because of this, I missed a job offer, as well as all the emails from my long-distance boyfriend asking if he could visit. I still don't have a job, and I broke up with him because he "failed to communicate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 946

You deserved it 51 081

By ajodasdojsad - 21/03/2015 15:12 - United Kingdom - Ewell

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 021

You deserved it 3 902

By Jocelyn - 25/11/2012 07:12 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was walking home, when I realized I didn't have my phone on me. After retracing my steps, I realized that I'd been listening to music from my phone the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 649

You deserved it 30 773

By screwed - 30/07/2009 03:20 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I was crying because my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. That wasn't why I was crying. My mom knows things before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 059

You deserved it 3 091

By Anonymous - 21/11/2012 05:00 - United States - Casselberry

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 972

You deserved it 5 112

By jan420 - 09/11/2012 22:03 - Norway - Moss

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 780

You deserved it 2 255

By Daddy - 10/11/2008 12:06 - France

Today, I gave my son a bollocking for losing a very important paper that I needed for work. I've just found it in my right pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 474

You deserved it 59 736

Lonely times

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 16:19 - United Kingdom

Today, the highlight of my day was someone prank-calling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 873

You deserved it 5 504

By anonymous - 10/06/2009 22:50 - United States

Today, I decided to go swimming. I knew my technique would be off because I haven't swam since high school. It was when I made it only halfway across the pool that the lifeguard decided to jump in and save me. I wasn't drowning or struggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 759

You deserved it 4 679

By lolmyfduplife - 24/12/2015 06:10

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 708

You deserved it 2 102

Apologetic

By mpsteve137 - 30/06/2012 06:21 - United States - Acworth

Today, I realized I say "sorry" more than anything else during sex with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 970

You deserved it 9 791

By Does this thought count? - 01/08/2014 00:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my ex-boyfriend surprised me with a gorgeous, giant stuffed tiger as a belated birthday gift. I thought it was a lovely gesture until a friend told me she had thrown it in the dumpster behind our building this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 866

You deserved it 3 940

By dumped - 23/08/2015 10:22 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 514

You deserved it 2 485

Historical accuracy

By laststand11 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Lexington

Today, I had to explain to my 15-year-old son why it wouldn't be a good idea to include a picture of the red Power Ranger in his "Weapons throughout history" project. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 198

You deserved it 3 477

By ForeverAlone - 06/03/2013 22:28 - United States - O Fallon

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 955

You deserved it 2 814

By Anonymous - 24/05/2011 04:38

Today, my boss ate a small piece of paper off her desk, thinking it was frosting. I have to work for this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 548

You deserved it 3 840

By nononame - 10/03/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I emailed the guy I like to ask him on a coffee date. He responded, declining by telling me he never drinks coffee. We met at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 203

You deserved it 4 192

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 15:58 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 127

You deserved it 3 515

Lookalike

By titmeister - 28/06/2016 16:30 - United States - Bayonne

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because I look like his favorite Hentai character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 712

You deserved it 1 587

By lil_munchkinjen - 09/02/2009 00:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 506

You deserved it 5 938

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, as it has been for nearly 60 years, my name is Karen. I’ve never once asked to speak to the manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 158

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 2 879

Today, I texted a girl who I had hooked up with the night before to see if she wanted to hang out again. She responded, "I think we should keep it the way it was, before last night." I just met her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 842

You deserved it 13 795

Today, while I was at work, a girl asked me if the Stitch (from Lilo and Stitch) plushie she wanted would be going on sale soon. After I told her I wasn't sure, her mom said they weren't going to buy it if it wasn't going on sale, and led her away. She looked absolutely crushed, and now my day is ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 95

Today, while I was at work, the cops were called for a wellness check on me because I'd blocked my bio father for being a pedophile. He'd called them on me, and I'm really embarrassed and upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 104

Today, I was telling my sister about how I am horribly depressed and how I can't function and she responded with, "Oh, shit! I've got to go Jeopardy is on!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 685

You deserved it 5 984