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By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 07:00 - Australia

Today, I thought I lost my wallet. Canceled my bank cards. Bought a new wallet. Got a $141 parking fine at the motor registry while getting my replacement license which also cost me $22. Went to go to the gym and when I went to put my bike jacket on, felt something inside the sleeve. My wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 016

You deserved it 31 764

Romie1985 tells us more.

Romie1985 0

Friday 12 March 2010 23:32

I actually did look for my wallet, spent over 3 hours looking for it in all obvious places, tore my house apart, checked my clothing pockets several times. It wasn't in the pocket, it fell down the sleeve of my motorcycle jacket. You say I'm an idiot yet half you people can't even read. "Should of checked your pockets". It was down in the sleeve not in the pocket.

By the customer is always a cunt - 20/12/2013 21:48 - United States - Sarasota

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 250

You deserved it 3 160

Beach body

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replied, "You farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 838

You deserved it 8 055

By Less - 07/03/2011 19:39 - Reserved

Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 399

You deserved it 6 697

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 06:33 - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 827

You deserved it 4 498

By sydsophnova - 02/07/2009 03:36 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was on the roof of his house. I climbed the ladder but I'm kind of scared of heights, so when I got up there I just sat on the edge. The gutter broke, fell down, and I fell along with it. My boyfriend then said, "I've been trying to tell you to go on a diet". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 127

You deserved it 9 491

By Anonymous - 01/10/2012 23:15 - United States - Providence

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 325

You deserved it 2 776

By lebowski101 - 03/11/2011 01:45 - Canada

Today, I was invited to a party to celebrate my ex-fiancée's recent engagement. The party is at work, because my ex is also my boss. Her new fiancée is some guy she met while on a "business trip" that happened while we were still engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 930

You deserved it 3 021

Get it now?

By poopooppachuu - 11/10/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, in the middle of explaining over the phone to my crush how I felt about him, I got a text from his best friend, who was apparently with him at the time. It said, "He doesn't like you, get over it. Stop rambling." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 132

You deserved it 6 133

Half-hearted

By SherryBaby - 29/12/2009 07:41 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex, asking if I would go out with him tonight. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 877

You deserved it 28 258

By Actor - 03/09/2011 01:59 - United States

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 519

You deserved it 5 230

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 07:04 - United States

Today, my mother and aunt got into an argument about who had gotten groped more times in public. I don't know what's more disturbing, that my own mother would brag about getting groped, or that she won the argument, at 34 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 893

You deserved it 2 749

Ouchie

By shadowednavi - 26/04/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, one of the guests I was in the middle of seating knocked an empty wine glass from the table. I assured them it was all right, and kneeled down to pick up the now broken glass. The lady insisted on helping, as far as picking the glass up and dumping the shards into my open hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 161

You deserved it 3 877

By Anonymous - 06/05/2013 08:35 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 704

You deserved it 6 608

By Carlee_Casten - 17/06/2014 20:51 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I got called a slut. I don't know what is worse, the fact I was called it or that I felt strangely flattered that the person thought I was getting any. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 640

You deserved it 7 878

Carlee_Casten tells us more.

Carlee_Casten 1

Wednesday 18 June 2014 21:14

OP Here! I just wanted to say thank you for the really nice comments :) Just to clarify I am not a person who thinks sex is something that should be bragged or boasted about. I was trying to make an insult less hurtful. They caught me on a good day. Otherwise I wouldn't have taken it so well. But thanks again for the comments and for those that helped my FML get posted :)