The Top

Believe it or not, I'm OP and this was posted on my tablet, I'm on my phone now (I'll post a picture of the other account if u don't believe me). Anyways, we were staying with a bitter old woman who believes "everything I do is right" (her words). She started screaming at me for being "disrespectful". This isn't the first occurrence of her messing with me only, and she's even purposely burned my food in the oven for not cooking it her way. Hope this helps

Babysitters for hire

By Middle Age Divorced Dad - 24/01/2023 11:00 - Canada - Kanata

Today, my girlfriend and I went out to neighbour's just down the street and left my 12 and 14 year-old daughters at home. The 12 year-old found the fire extinguisher and thought it was whipped cream, put it in her mouth, and tried to eat it. The 14 year-old didn't even bother to call us. Luckily, the 12 year-old is fine, the stuff was safe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 354

The Hulk

By Anonymous - 10/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder, meaning that I involuntarily fly into a rage without provocation. It's only controlled by healthy eating and sleeping. I work too much to get any sleep, I don't make enough money to eat well, and my disorder limits my ability to find a job that pays more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 376

By TiredParent - 09/10/2018 12:00

Today, I had to take my eyes off my kid for a minute to respond to an important work email. I was about to click send when I heard a flushing sound and mad giggling. It was the TV remote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 657

You deserved it 566

Sunday funday

By Anonymous - 30/01/2023 01:30

Today, my 6 year-old daughter decided to let out a loud fart in the middle of a quiet church service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 420

By aricababyy - 29/12/2016 05:09 - United States - Winchester

Today, I had my very first interview and pretty much got hired right away. Then I found out I have to drive 2 hours away for training. I don't have a car, license, or money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 845

You deserved it 601

Meet the family

By annika - 06/09/2020 08:07 - Canada

Today, I finally took the courage to introduce my ginger boyfriend to my family. It didn't go too well. My dad asked if he could call him "Ron Weasley" and my 13-year-old brother asked if he had a soul. Now I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 236

By Embarrassed - 05/11/2018 13:30

Today, at over 9 months pregnant, I woke up to a wet bed. Convinced my water broke, I woke up my husband and had him drive me to the hospital at 3am. The nurse told me my water was fine, I had just peed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 091

You deserved it 465

Mean girls

By Anonymous - 30/09/2020 07:25 - United States

Today, I watched our presidential candidates face off like high school girls with the whole world watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 320

Nice try

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 16:59

Today, my wife forgot our anniversary, and since she always makes me suffer when I forget, I made a fancy 4-course meal in our living room, wearing a suit and tie to really rub it in that this time she forgot. Turns out I got the right date, but wrong month. It’s next month, and so… my suffering begins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 2 183

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 393

You deserved it 180

So brave

By unemployedagain - 25/03/2023 21:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, I was offered the job of my dreams until the recruiters had gone through my Twitter account and had seen tweets of me calling another girl a “bitch” and a racial slur during an argument. They rescinded the offer and I’d already quit my last job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 2 303

Joe's at it again

By bourneenemy - 19/01/2022 11:01 - United States - Pico Rivera

Today, same as recently, there's some guy constantly standing in front of my building waiting for me to come out, just to stare at me and then get mad when I walk to my car, to the store, to the bank, and even followed me into the lobby to see what floor I get off at, like a weirdo. What should I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 305

You deserved it 152

By sickday - 02/12/2018 17:30

Today, I took my first holiday from work in over 6 months as it was my birthday. Today was also the day I woke up and vomited violently for 10 straight hours as a result of food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 980

You deserved it 275

Inappropriate

By Anonymous - 28/01/2022 20:01

Today, my mom suggested that her brother, my uncle, walk me down the aisle at my upcoming wedding, since my dad passed away last week. My uncle molested me since I was 8 and my mom never believed me, even to this day. She tells me to, “stop being an ungrateful bitch,” since he’s chipping in for the wedding costs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 368

You deserved it 128

Furry family

By crazy dog lady - 02/11/2020 02:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got evicted for having too many dogs. She expects me to let her and all 5 dogs live in my one-bedroom apartment. When I told her no, that I’d get evicted too, she said that should be a sacrifice I’m willing to make for “our family” if I really loved her. They aren’t even my dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 259

Advice

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 11:01

Today, my wife and I are having marital/intimacy issues. My 72 year-old mom basically told me to touch my wife, to hug her more, caress her lovingly, and pat her bottom, etc. Thanks mom, I'll grab her ass, that'll make it all better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 699

By bureaucracy - 29/01/2017 13:00 - United States - Bellingham

Today I went to the bus station to pick up a lost phone. Even after calling ahead the day before, I was turned away because I hadn't e-mailed. The website says to call and doesn't list an e-mail. I still don't have the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 653

You deserved it 471

Messy

By Danielle Heichelbech - 15/11/2020 20:01

Today my 28-year-old husband got bored while cleaning the car. So he decided to stage a "crumb sacrifice to the vacuum gods" to "ensure a bountiful harvest." FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 316

By Anonymous - 30/12/2018 06:00 - Australia - Carlton

Today, I found the remnants of a condom in my dog’s poo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 431

You deserved it 401

The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one!

By zarko - 14/02/2017 14:00 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I created myself a Dropbox folder named "Traffic fines". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 311

You deserved it 5 669

What?

By what? what? what? what? - 17/02/2022 06:00

Today, no matter how hard I try, I simply can’t understand my professor’s incredibly thick accent. When I asked if anyone else in class was having trouble, they accused me of being a racist ass. I genuinely have no idea what he’s saying, and no one will share notes with me. Lectures are mandatory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 184

Sorry Stuart…

By connor1701 - 27/02/2017 20:00

Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 376

You deserved it 652

By box butt - 07/03/2017 00:00

Today, after much dieting and exercise, I can proudly say that my love handles are now bigger than my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 416

You deserved it 637

By Ali - 17/04/2019 02:00

Today, after drinking a half gallon of liquid laxative in preparation for a colonoscopy, I puked the half gallon of laxative. Out my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 230

By vdm - 17/08/2014 05:21

Today, my wife was talking to our 9 month-old baby. “Your father really is an example.” I smiled, feeling proud, but then she added, “and not a really good one.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 80

By facepalm - 02/05/2019 00:00

Today, my son won’t stop crying, all because I told him he couldn’t go trick-or-treating in April. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 886

You deserved it 267

Roommates from Hell

By Snoodist - 06/05/2019 20:00

Today, as usual, I got home to find that my roommate had eaten all my groceries and left a mess behind for me to clean. To be fair, this time she did some cleaning - she "energy cleansed" my room with a sage wand, burning a huge hole in my mattress in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 123

You deserved it 158

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, in an effort to save some money, I attempted to paint my own house. Instead, I fell off the ladder and broke my dominant arm. Now I can’t work, brush my teeth, or even wipe my ass. My house is half-painted with stuff everywhere and I have 6 weeks to recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 278

Today, while talking to my sister, I explained to her that the reason I hope I end up having a girl is I want my daughter to love me the way I "used" to love my own mother. I didn't mean to say it in the past tense. My sister told my mom. She's planning my baby shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 980

You deserved it 7 098

Today, the crazy cat lady who lives next to me lost one of her cats. She sat outside with a whistle at 6:00 this morning and continued to blow her whistle for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 932

You deserved it 2 726

Today, I'm 25-years-old and I need to wear an adult diaper as I have lost my bladder control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 000

You deserved it 150

Today, my ex-boyfriend announced he was engaged. We broke up last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 678

You deserved it 1 726

Today, I woke in the same way as every day, puking and hating life. It hasn’t been the same since my new boss started. I now want to start afresh, quit my job, and find a better way of living without ripping my eyes out. Why can’t I just win the lottery? FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 239