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Mukbang

By Anonymous - 04/12/2016 22:14

Today, my family held an intervention and told me I needed to lose weight. It probably would've had more impact if they hadn't done this over video chat while stuffing their faces at an all-you-can-eat buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 544

You deserved it 805

By idiot - 19/11/2016 06:48 - United States - Wausau

Today, while I was reading on my tablet, my dog wanted to be let outside, so I set down the tablet and let her outside. I returned to the living room to continue reading when I heard a crunch. The tablet had fallen to the floor and I'd stepped on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 822

You deserved it 2 802

By Bibi - 16/07/2017 21:30 - Brazil - Brasilia

Today, I found out why a boy I like has been ignoring me since we went out for drinks the other night. I accidentally got too drunk and remember nothing except that I decided to play on my phone for awhile. The next day he wouldn't even talk to me and when I asked why, he told me that I had drunkenly revealed to him that I had multiple crushes, all of their names, and had showed him all of my conversations with them on WhatsApp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 348

You deserved it 7 408

By Ruby Lore - 20/07/2017 00:31

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 549

You deserved it 354

Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo

By Rhett_15 - 01/08/2017 13:00

Today, I found out that my favorite song is about blow jobs and crystal meth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 450

You deserved it 959

By kenabrookee - 03/04/2013 05:48 - United States - Northridge

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 029

You deserved it 14 800

Can't be bothered

By anabolic - 27/02/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill the sheet out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 906

You deserved it 2 752

By Elayne Warthen - 25/04/2018 01:30

Today, I found out my soon-to-be husband and father of my unborn child is already married to another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 316

You deserved it 550

By rykelmb - 27/05/2016 23:40 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I dropped my father-in-law's friend off at the airport, and I got in trouble because he ended up missing his flight. He only missed it because he forgot to check in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 847

You deserved it 821

First Impression

By Katy3225 - 06/06/2018 15:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, it was my first day teaching economics to a university class of 150. For the first 5 minutes, a bunch of students snickered. I asked why. One said, "Your zipper's open, but it doesn't matter because your blue panties are showing through your white pants anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 635

You deserved it 1 725

By crakbbyaparently - 31/01/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 857

You deserved it 1 893

By Gaylord - 28/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Aspers

Today, I realized that my somewhat flamboyant behavior may have given people the wrong impression when my classmate tried to set me up with one of her male friends. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask her out all semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 828

You deserved it 2 201

By Bam - 09/09/2018 15:00

Today, after being told my cellphone was under warranty and would be repaired for free, Samsung received my device, changed their minds, and charged me $636.96 to return my device to me. That's more than the device costs new at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 146

You deserved it 201

By Crypticbeerbelly - 11/01/2017 14:44

Today, I was reading a recipe list on my tablet. I moved a little, and one of my fat rolls came into contact with a button which closed the tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 260

You deserved it 3 797

Patience

By ToiletProblems - 06/02/2019 07:00 - United States - Northbrook

Today, I decided to use the disabled toilet in work to get a little extra privacy while I did my business. The cleaners who unlocked the door from the outside and barged in on me were nice and waited until I finished to apologize and explain there were complaints the door had been locked for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 149

You deserved it 492

By Crabby - 30/03/2017 17:00 - United Kingdom - Clitheroe

Today, I had to face up to telling the cute guy I just split up with that I have also probably given him pubic lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 425

You deserved it 6 325

By Kolpall - 15/08/2015 10:22 - Tunisia

Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside in the garden. At 3 a.m., I’m awoken by something licking my face. A dog? A camel. A camel! FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 167

By polskibus - 31/01/2012 05:55 - Poland

Today, I’ve been living in Poland for three months now. I had the brilliant idea to take out the trash at midnight after washing my hair. A minute later, my hair was completely frozen and I even managed to break some of it off. I can confirm that it was -30 °C. FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 248

By Immafail - 20/12/2016 18:32

Today, my mother decided to "help me" by throwing out the stack of papers on my desk. Unfortunately, those were all my notes for my final exams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 851

You deserved it 608

By Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00

Today, the wife and I were in the middle of having sex. She was bent over and I was taking her to pound town. I look over to see my 3 year-old son standing in the doorway, humping air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 2 513

By unemployed - 18/10/2016 00:05 - United States - The Colony

Today, the store I work at got shut down and I got let go. Three days ago I got a promotion and a raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 525

You deserved it 783

By Jihnyq - 24/10/2017 08:00 - Ecuador - Quito

Today, I went on a blind date with a girl. I was trying to be funny and joked, "I've never been on a blind date because I was afraid my date would be blind." She started crying because she's visually impaired and had just built up the courage to start dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 412

You deserved it 4 721

By Not his SunShine anymore - 10/07/2016 23:04 - United States - Manchester

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over something that happened 5 years ago. We've only been together for 2 years as of this July. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 744

You deserved it 1 078

By Broken Heart Girl - 26/03/2018 10:00 - Canada - New Glasgow

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years sat me down and told me how much I meant to him. He then told me that he's gay and in love with my best friend Miles, who he's been secretly seeing behind my back for over 2 years. I thought he was going to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 288

You deserved it 424

By kaleighf - 28/04/2016 01:46 - United States - Hollywood

Today, a new girl showed up at my school and everyone really seems to be intrigued about her. I've been told at least five times today that she is the hotter version of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 121

You deserved it 1 188

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 120

You deserved it 2 450

By Chocolatehater - 08/09/2018 18:30 - Netherlands - Wageningen

Today, my girlfriend finally came over to watch a movie with me after weeks of being really busy. As a treat she brought chocolate cookies, which she knows I can't eat. I am allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 828

You deserved it 267

By Annie - 01/11/2018 22:15

Today, the CEO of my company told me the only reason I'm being sent to this huge tech conference is because the company will look better with a girl there. I'm expected to stay out until 4am with creepy rich business partners to stroke their egos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 337

You deserved it 267

By littlekellilee - 05/11/2018 03:00

Today, I reached out to an old friend to ask how his battle with cancer is going. He responded by asking for boob pics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 731

You deserved it 378

By Anonymous - 16/12/2018 03:00

Today, I went on a date. I went to the bathroom for five minutes and returned to find my date had not only left, but poured ketchup all over our food to ruin it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 638

You deserved it 204

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The Top

Today, I took my girlfriend to a Bo Bice concert for her birthday. She loves him so I bought us second row seats. After we got there we ran into some friends of hers sitting way back in the lawn section, and of course she wanted to sit with them. I paid $300 to sit on the grass and watch Bo Bice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 553

You deserved it 4 897

Today, I arrived at work unusually happy after having shared a wonderful date and first kiss last night with the colleague I've been in love with for months. Today is also the day she received an offer for the job of her dreams across the country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 567

You deserved it 312

Today, my neighbour was singing in the shower so loud that I could understand every word. He was singing "Purple Rain", which wouldn't have been so bad if he only knew a bit more of the lyrics. He has been singing those same two words for half an hour now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 538

You deserved it 945

Today, I have been with my boyfriend for about 9 months. I still can't work up the courage to tell him I love him. I've been bursting to tell him for 4 months, but for some reason I can never seem to get the words out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 413

Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 415

You deserved it 2 940

Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 709

You deserved it 1 542