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By Dashofweak - 26/04/2016 16:17 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I did the math and discovered that every year, I pay the equivalent cost of a luxury car to a college that can't even keep rats out of the dorms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 962

You deserved it 1 576

By Anonymous - 22/02/2015 18:52 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 784

You deserved it 7 057

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 01:54 - Australia - Stafford

Today, my best friend finally broke up with her knob of a boyfriend. This would be great except now my boyfriend of two years has broken up with me because she's finally single. She introduced us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 547

You deserved it 1 487

By Anonymous - 20/09/2018 03:00

Today, after years of telling my boyfriend I don't do anal, I agreed to try it once just to get him to stop whining about it. He was so gung-ho that he tried to force it in without doing enough "relaxing preparation" and he split the muscle around my ring. Now I need surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 259

You deserved it 947

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 22:00

Today, I got reverse suspended for correcting my teacher. Now my mom has to go to all my high school classes with me for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 062

You deserved it 650

By Rekt - 10/11/2016 05:40 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was taking a break in my work truck when I saw a huge swarm of bees flying my way. I have a hand crank window so I started cranking it up as fast as I could and the knob snapped off before it closed and I got stung by the whole swarm before I could get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 808

You deserved it 753

A likely story...

By Anonymous - 15/07/2017 11:59 - United States - Manchester

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years wanted to break up because I was "kissing" another guy. That guy was 73 years old and dying of a heart-attack. I work as an Ambulance Technician and was performing CPR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 113

You deserved it 534

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 465

You deserved it 1 428

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 752

You deserved it 2 426

By Whatthehell - 22/10/2017 05:00

Today, my husband's mistress purposely and dangerously induced her own labor so that she would have the baby on my birthday. Yes, I'm divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 597

You deserved it 328

By . - 05/08/2016 16:57 - Germany - Neuwied

Today, I had to hide some Oreos inside my bra to motivate my husband to get close to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 225

You deserved it 1 876

By Checkpoint96 - 30/07/2016 16:25 - Australia - Victoria Point

Today, it's the fourth day in a row that I've been kept awake by my grandmother's snoring. I want to be pissed off, but she has sleep apnea, and I feel guilty for even wanting her to shut the hell up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 610

You deserved it 1 280

Checkpoint96 tells us more.

Checkpoint96 10

Monday 1 August 2016 8:10

Hi, OP here. Thank you all for your suggestions, I have not mentioned to her that her snoring keeps me awake, as I think that would be rude, especially as she can not do much about it. For all those telling me that I should tell her, or that it is fatal, she knows she has it, and she is also aware that it is fatal, as is my entire family. She is just one of those people who stubbornly refuses to get treated for anything, as 'it can't possibly be that bad'. My family and I have talked to her about getting a CPAP machine, but as I mentioned before, she stubbornly refuses to do anything about it.

By stupid useless criminal - 21/11/2017 19:00

Today, I saw a young child passed out unattended in a hot car so I smashed the windows to rescue him. After waiting with him for 30 minutes, his mom came out and called the cops on me. I officially have a probation violation and the mom went home free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 614

You deserved it 566

By ScorpioQueen - 21/09/2009 23:34 - United States

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 509

You deserved it 43 191

Gamergate 1.0

By Lucie - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 357

You deserved it 5 435

Can't win

By Rawrssa - 13/03/2011 05:52 - United States

Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 466

You deserved it 3 476

By Anonymous - 17/04/2016 16:37 - United States - Middletown

Today, during a soccer game, some utter moron got the bright idea of trying to score a goal from his side of the field. I sarcastically made a big show of just barely stopping the ball, and nailed it off to the side. The ball hit a kid so hard in the head that he had to go to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 831

You deserved it 5 050

By nerp - 29/03/2016 19:44 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a stranger had a go at me for smoking while pregnant. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 061

You deserved it 2 686

Jerk

By Innocence - 13/02/2015 17:33 - United States - Amelia

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 147

You deserved it 3 554

By Ellamare - 11/02/2016 04:13 - United States - Flint

Today, my now ex-boyfriend informed me that he is cheating on me with our neighbor, again. I wasn't aware that he cheated on me the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 958

You deserved it 1 917

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 tells us more.

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24

Thursday 11 February 2016 20:37

Hey, it's OP here! Thank you for all the positive and supportive comments. Basically the story goes, we moved into a neighborhood a few months back, and our neighbor had been talking about needing some work done on her house because of lighting issued when we were all first introduced. I knew he dropped by once while I was at work to check out her lights, but he had never previously given me any reason not to trust him. So this came as a surprise to me when he revealed it to me, I guess he just somehow assumed I knew and I just didn't care. So yeah, there goes the end of a 3 year relationship. I guess all I can say now is good riddance to bad love.