By injuredwifelady - 23/02/2016 08:23 - United States - Omaha
The Top
Whiff
By lizard - 18/12/2010 05:56 - United States
By almostadult - 14/01/2016 14:13 - United Kingdom - Bath
almostadult tells us more.
Surprising
By Jrlloyd013 - 19/12/2009 22:33 - United States
By soldier - 06/05/2009 02:40 - United States
Happy Insomnia Day!
By Morgannaken - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom
By Anonymous - 01/07/2015 19:09 - United States - Tampa
By bonsai_girl - 31/05/2015 14:19 - Croatia - Split
By englishornah - 23/04/2015 02:53 - United States - Somerset
By HeadTrauma - 20/01/2009 04:23 - United States
Guilty
By jamienicole1993 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Savannah
By screw life - 01/10/2012 11:35 - United States
By unwanted - 26/11/2014 18:13 - Canada - Dollard-des-ormeaux
By KittyNeko - 28/12/2009 06:26 - United States
By tricia_11 - 05/12/2016 22:15
tricia_11 tells us more.
That man hasn't worked a day in almost 5 years. He took an early retirement and sits home all day. I work my ass off. I have a 3 hour daily commute on top of my work day. After sitting on his ass all day, he needs to cook me my favorite meal, give me the best sex ever and worship me for taking care of him! Yet, I'm thinking of myself? Get real.
By ezrocks4u - 20/09/2015 13:58 - United States - Charlotte
ezrocks4u tells us more.
Hi, OP here. To give some context, I got a few t shirts for my birthday. My birthday was a month ago(thanks for the birthday wishes!) but only found out about the fact that my mom stole said razor a day ago, because I saw the package addressed to me in the trash. Needless to say, it is too late to steal back. I had posted another birthday FML(from the actual day of) never got posted. Got locked outside of my car in the rain for 3 hours, couldn't afford a locksmith, and missed my birthday dinner.
By hbt51 - 17/08/2015 19:56 - United States - Blue Ridge
Make it make sense
By Claudine - 30/06/2015 06:18 - Belgium - Liège
Shady tactics
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Rowville
By Bleiz - 14/06/2016 19:41 - United States - Federal Way
Bleiz_fml tells us more.
I just want to say thank you for all of the love and such. Just getting y FML published made me excited a little! And to all the people saying that the girl is "not worth it" and stuff like that, we are still good friends and I get where she was coming from. Like multiple people have said, dating someone that has a mental disorder can be tough (especially if said person has multiple, such as ADD and an anxiety disorder I forgot the name to). Anyways thanks for the support and all..
By Kristina - 18/02/2009 21:09 - United States
By oh - 06/12/2013 21:20 - Denmark - Viborg
Cornered
By blarg - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By The Ugly One - 22/01/2015 02:17 - United States
By zacharynedley - 06/01/2015 00:16 - United States - Elkridge
By juggalomurderer59 - 12/11/2014 16:00 - United States
Bigmouth
By Sardine - 18/12/2009 22:14 - United States
By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 06:23 - Canada
By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States
By Creepedout - 25/06/2013 01:27 - United States - Clearwater
Keywords
Hey guys, OP here, thanks for the comments! I know I deserve it, drunk me is an idiot, and I think that's the last time I'm going to get drunk for a while... until drunk me knows that my roommate's left! As for other traps, I also found out this morning that I had put some salt in the sugar (which was discovered after taking a sip of coffee), and vaseline or something like that on the bathroom doorknob. Hopefully those are it, but I have a feeling that there's going to be more. My roommate moved out because he's moved to Ireland to be closer to his family, as he's been in England for about a year and a half but prefers Ireland. While he was here, we used to play pranks on each other a lot, but usually practical jokes like whoopee cushions or fake spiders in the other's bed. To be honest, it's a shame I didn't do this prank while he was still here! Thanks for all those who commented/voted on it. No feeling like knowing your fails are public ;D