By NotDarkKnight - 08/10/2014 00:46 - United States - Barnesville
FML - The Follow-Up
NotDarkKnight tells us more.
By whywouldyoudothat - 07/10/2014 01:14 - United States - Kingman
2019x tells us more.
Are you gay?
By SaintGoobers - 06/10/2014 20:24 - United States - Cambridge
SaintGoobers tells us more.
Hey Buddy, this is the first time Ady has ever cussed, or at least with me viewing it. She claims that her Father was singing the songs so she thought she would sing with him. I will be talking to her dad! Lol.
By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 10:00 - New Zealand - Christchurch
Nonethnx tells us more.
Hi guys, this is OP :) I've come back to give a little update about my life since this FML was posted. So, I wrote this when I was 14 years old, and I am now 17. I have always wanted to have a career helping people. That ideology has never left me, and probably never will. In the past three years, I have partaken in discussions and done my own research, and I have come to the conclusion that religion is not for me. Originally I wanted to be a priest, however I no longer wish to continue down that path. Once I have completed high school, I plan to enter medical school. Doctors Without Borders is the main goal I'm aiming for. The belief that I was put on this earth to help and serve my fellow man, is an ideology that was given to me by religion. This belief has always stuck with me, even though my faith has not. Reading some of the comments on my post, I also wanted to mention that I am gay, and I have never had any conflict between my sexuality and religious beliefs in the past, and to this day, I have not experienced any 'hateful dogma' from the church. The only person who has given me grief was my mother - she has not supported me in the past, and she does not support me now. We get along as friends, but behind her 'funny' FML worthy quips, she can be quite hurtful. Religion provided me with comfort and support when my family did not. These days, I find that same solace in helping others. I don't know if anyone will read this, but if they do, thanks for taking the time to hear my story! If anyone replies, I can only hope that I'll read it and reply before another 3 years has passed. Thanks again! -OP
By 1039583 - 03/10/2014 14:43 - United States - Salt Lake City
1039583 tells us more.
He owns the business or I would have already!! I know this because I only started closing this late after he found out I have a boyfriend.
By Ryuun12 - 03/10/2014 03:20 - United States - Morgan Hill
Ryuun12 tells us more.
Lol. I'm not overweight. I just have meaty thighs. Yet my calves are... veryyy skinny. I do have me some moobs though! Lol. And a bit of a belly. I was trying to be funny not complain about being fat, lol. But its not really that obvious. But you know. Always appreciate these nice comments. (Hint thats sarcasm. Besides the few that were nice.
By EosThorn - 02/10/2014 01:33 - Sweden - V?xj?
EosThorn tells us more.
OP here. I don't know if I'm doing this correctly, but here goes. Thank you for the encouraging comments, even the harsh ones. I'm aware of how ridiculous this sounds... Trust me. I have two good female friends who I'm sure are tired of me harping away on this. It hasn't been years of me staring at him through foggy windows, all sad. I've dated other people and so has he. It wasn't easy because truly, I love him. Circumstances just didn't allow for us to be together... Whether he wanted to or not. So, I chose to keep his friendship and not risk it. We are adults now and things have changed. It's perfect, but I feel like so much time has passed that he no longer sees me as a girl he'd want to be with now that its possible. We have a special bond and as much as it devastates me to think he would reject me, it would kill me to see everything we have just turn into something ugly.
By piper182 - 29/09/2014 22:04 - United States - New York
piper182 tells us more.
Hey OP here, in my car... I work 11-12 hours 6 days a week so though I wish for a dog, I can't. I stay in the car because when I go in I have to plan for the next day. In the car it's quiet and peaceful. Living with others was worse but I am a lonely person. I do sometimes drink a beer once I'm parked. I agree it's sad and I'm not a very social person and I hate it about myself.
By SystemofaBlink41 - 29/09/2014 04:31 - Puerto Rico - Caguas
SystemofaBlink41 tells us more.
By mindjob - 29/09/2014 02:49
mindjob tells us more.
And run I did! Well, not really, but I got out of there as fast as possible. I was too embarrassed about being stood up and being accused of watching kids to have a sharp wit and a good response. An excuse was mumbled and I got out of there! And 54, I wouldn't normally wait longer than a half hour at most, but I suppose I was pretty hopeful for this date!
By Katthebamf - 28/09/2014 14:25 - United Kingdom - Cannock
Katthebamf tells us more.
I'm fine we were going around 25mph down a quiet road. I always wear my protective gear so no scrapes just a sore back. Yeah he did forget as I'm quite agile and move well with the bike. When he noticed he stopped and helped me back onto the back to get me home. He's been very apologetic ever since but I take it in good jest as we have a really good relationship. :) thank you for your concern though
By TooLesbian - 25/09/2014 02:33 - Australia - Kellyville
TooLesbian tells us more.
I am the OP for this post. She is not my friend, just the sister of a friend (I live with both). Where I live in Australia, "queer" is still used as a derogatory word against gay people, and gay men and women are often called that by homophobes in public. She is completely straight, but thinks she is revolutionary by joining the gay rights movement as an "ally". Because she knows gay people, she assumes that she is entitled to use words we call ourselves. She knows I'm not comfortable with the word "queer" because I've had it used against me by bullies at high school, but she continues to use it because "it's an umbrella term" (although it isn't, some a word SOME LGBT people call themselves). She isn't a homophobe, and I'm not insinuating that she is - just really annoying.
By Sen728 - 25/09/2014 02:10 - United States - East Haven
Sen728 tells us more.
This is my first FML, so I'm actually really surprised that it got posted. I collect robots and the robot in question is a robotic dog called a Genibo SD which I was partially disassembling to replace its battery at the time. I had to go searching for the parts immediately since that night was trash night and if I had waited until morning, they would have been long gone. I did leave the bag sitting on a table where I had been working, but it was next to a bunch of screwdrivers so I didn't think it would be mistaken for trash (though I admit it was partially my fault for not moving the bag somewhere safer). I'm not upset with my mom, she's a great person and had no way of knowing that the parts were important. Aha, I obviously don't enjoy tearing through trash bags in the middle of the night, but it was definitely a better outcome than if the parts had been taken away by the dump truck.
By hahaohyeahwow - 24/09/2014 04:24 - United States - Dearborn
hahaohyeahwow tells us more.
He said he had to poop (lmfao) and did it in there. Also, he cannot do it twice in a night. He literally just passes out. Ha.
By danceinconverse - 23/09/2014 18:04 - Canada - Richmond Hill
danceinconverse tells us more.
Just followed up on my recently accepted FML, so thought I should explain this one too! Everyone's comments seriously made me laugh by the way. Especially the shrek one, my boyfriend really appreciated that. To everyone saying "you mean ex boyfriend?", no. (Let me explain). If I dated a guy who legitimately did this, you can bet your bottom dollar he would be kicked to the curb. But I have to admit, I only posted a small portion of the full story. He actually mimed doing this as a joke in front of our friends, but unfortunately he managed to unintentionally get a little booger on his hand and actually wipe it in his hair. I informed him, and he ran to the bathroom with a mortified look to shower. And no, we will never let him live it down! Mwahahaha!
By paedra - 22/09/2014 21:15 - United States - New York
paedra tells us more.
Hey this is my post! They've actually been working on the fire alarm system for a few months, but this is the first time I needed to use the elevators when they were out. I needed to pee really badly so I ran up the stairs (in business attire) only for them to start working as soon as I got to my floor!
By WhiteCaribbean - 22/09/2014 19:38 - Saint Lucia - Castries
WhiteCaribbean tells us more.
BTW I'm straight, for anyone in the comments wondering, it was a female who pitched the life insurance. I seriously thought she was interested in me; that's why i went to meet her =S
By MikaykayUnicorn - 21/09/2014 14:57 - Australia
MikaykayUnicorn tells us more.
Okay, this is about to sound really dumb. But unless someone happened to have the same thing happen to them and happened to post it on FML the same day as I, I'm the OP. I'm unsure because of the fact that it says Australia and Anonymous. Hmm. To explain things a little more: he was totally kidding. We joke around like this a lot. I wasn't offended, until I realised I haven't received an actual compliment in years. We had been talking about how his parents normally believe that he's dating any girl he speaks to, except me. I responded by saying , "Oh, so I don't look like a girl?" I wasn't fishing for compliments, in case you were wondering. (I'd also like to say thank you to anyone who commented anything like "I bet you're beautiful". Reading the comments made my day.) I just said it as a joke. He replied, "Kind of, from the right angle." It wasn't meant to offend me, but it did make my day a pretty bad when I thought about it too much. Oh well, he didn't mean any harm. I also don't dress like a guy, and don't have a short haircut. I also wear makeup. So I don't believe I have many "manly" features.
By Bebbo - 20/09/2014 01:20 - Canada - Toronto
Bebbo_fml tells us more.
Hey guys, op here, the GO train and Via Rail have washrooms. In this case the GO, this particular washroom was on the first level in front of the entrance to the train. And yes the washroom has a lock and I thought I had locked the door, even tested it. Mind you, the passenger who opened the door seemed to have put a lot of strength behind opening the door. So people beware, the go locks aren't that strong!
By jewelthewat - 19/09/2014 12:52 - Netherlands - Driebergen
jewelthewat tells us more.
I was on a holiday to see my long distance boyfriend in the UK. We took a bus to go see a movie that evening, but a bunch of school kids had to take the bus too. Apparently this guy knew my boyfriend from when they both still attended the same high school and he thought he was funny. We had a really weird conversation, this guy and me, but apart from weird and a little rude, he was also quite friendly and funny. The remark about my teeth was a joke too. About my teeth, my upper jaw is a little too small so my canines are "on top" of my other teeth. It looks REALLY cool, but yeah, it's quite visible (especially when I smile, I look like a vampire). Thanks for all your comments guys, you're really sweet!
By blazon_paradox - 17/09/2014 03:18 - United States - Dearborn
blazon_paradox tells us more.
In the area I live and work it's very possible that a stray cat will be less than healthy. And as I own two cats I also don't want to carry fleas or ticks home to them. Also, and mostly this I think, I don't want to be attacked by a rabid animal- Adorable kitten or otherwise.
By Peeves - 15/09/2014 22:05 - United States
Peeves_fml tells us more.
OP here! My brother legitimately believed that having acne is the same thing as having cancer, but after a good talk with him about the difference between a normal teenage phenomenon and a life-threatening disease, I think he's straightened out his vocabulary terms. Oh, the bliss of being baby-faced and blemish-free! I told him he was lucky that he wouldn't have to worry about any skin problems for several years.
By Wingman527 - 15/09/2014 21:39 - United States - Salida
Wingman527 tells us more.
You can actually, it's called school.
By GallowsHumor - 15/09/2014 20:28 - Finland
GallowsHumor tells us more.
Hi, I'm the OP. I realized I was reading my own FML and thus created this account. To elaborate the story, these estimations are called Fermi problems and they're designed to teach dimensional analysis and approximation. They're typical in physics and engineering education and mine is a mix of both. The gerbil-sun is actually an approximation presented by Dr. Larry Weinstein - a physics professor and co-author of 'Guesstimation: Solving the World's Problem's on the Back of a Cocktail Napkin'. I believe the title should speak for itself... *sigh*... and that is exactly how it felt to be on the lecture. It is not that I think that learning to approximate is something to be scoffed at, per se. Indeed, it is skill that all experimental scientists and other people alike do need and find useful - often in basic, everyday life. However this was the third lecture in the series and they all have gone more or less within the realm of vagueness, "hip" examples and little to grasp for the inevitable physics homework that doesn't solve itself. On a related note, my lecture-mates also eagerly discussed the approximate number of piano tuners in Finland (in the original problem the place is Chicago) and at which height Felix Baumgartner might have broken the sound barrier during his sky-dive from the altitude of 39 kilometers (estimate). As this endless drone went on and on, I sat there, bored out of my mind, desperately wondering if and when the tune of the lecture(s) would change and how the heck would I utilize this in the homework, most of which requires some actual and exact calculation, not just some half-baked estimates. Thus the FML. P.S. There's actually a short article in thepointnews.com about Weinstein and his gerbil-sun, and I must say it was way more interesting (not to mention less time-consuming) a read than listening my class drone on and on about it and the other Fermi problems for 90 minutes straight.
By rightlessonwrong - 15/09/2014 05:06 - United States - Houston
rightlessonwrong tells us more.
OP here. I was on the toilet while he was brushing his teeth. After he turned the light off I said "Hello, someone still in here!" To which he replied, "Oops! Sorry Hun!" And turned it back on for me.
By berryjones11024 - 14/09/2014 14:35 - United States - Fayetteville
berryjones11024 tells us more.
Hello the OP here, in case you are wondering my son is 14, this what makes this bad. I had a talk with him about combing his hair with scissors, he said that since it had an edge he thought it would work just fine. He's not hurt in any way but if he was to hurt himself, I would have told him to figure it out. The eating toothpaste is a whole different story, I didn't know the purpose and he didn't know the purpose. I don't think he knew that toothpaste is poisonous if you ate it. Anybody want to adopt a kid?
By Jamesfmled - 13/09/2014 14:01
Jamesfmled tells us more.
I wasn't just after the sex. We're just both very busy so when we get opportunities we make the most of them. And normally she tells me if we can't.
By stupidgov - 13/09/2014 11:03 - Italy
stupidgov tells us more.
I wrote this - just in an FML mood. I'm the OP, and this is precisely the point. I already did some translation (mostly unpaid, but was getting experience) before I started this degree. Translators without this authorisation can also get work, but that takes more experience. I figured with the degree I would actually get paid for doing what was otherwise my hobby. Now any motivation to finish writing my thesis seems to have disappeared.
By ElementaryEdGuy - 12/09/2014 03:22 - United States - Benton
ElementaryEdGuy tells us more.
I work in a low-income school. Very rarely do we have students who have OLD (think Nokia brick) cellphones that are deactivated so that they can call the police if necessary. These students are usually our 4th & 5th graders who may be involved with activities after school. Occasionally we will have a student with one of those "cellphones" that can only be used to contact parents & police. Otherwise, this was a rarity.
By iAmPaul - 11/09/2014 19:16 - Canada - Ottawa
iAmPaul tells us more.
Hey everyone, Here's a bit more info: It's only the second week of classes, and I don't have my schedule completely memorized yet. I thought my class was at 1 PM, but I realised it was at 2:30 PM. I thought the crowd of students outside the class was pretty different from last week's (my class is a computer class - comprised of mostly males); there were mostly females there. Went in the class with everyone, sat down, waited for the prof to show up. Instead, the prof for the actual class that was happening showed up and she put up the PowerPoint for some sort of psychology class. She looked at me and told me that I'd better get out before it gets too embarrassing. I quickly and nervously packed up my things and rushed back out of the class while feverishly checking my watch and feeling the stares of 150+ students. Rookie mistake, especially for a third-year student like myself. >_
Keywords
OP here. The person that told me that is was 'strange' is a friend of mine, so I dont think it was him. I didnt switch pockets because of his comment, but I just wanted to change it up a bit. Another friend found my wallet and returned it. I'm 15, so I don't have any money anyways...