When you brag a bit too much By Lewis - 11/12/2018 00:30 do not count your chickens before they hatch I agree, your life sucks 231 You deserved it 155 Share Tweet Share
Today, after finally breaking up with my controlling girlfriend, she took a shit in my socks. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 375 You deserved it 749
Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 168 You deserved it 5 906
Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 28 944 You deserved it 5 081
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML I agree, your life sucks 900 You deserved it 219
Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 299 You deserved it 156
Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 127
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