When you brag a bit too much By Lewis - 11/12/2018 00:30 do not count your chickens before they hatch I agree, your life sucks 231 You deserved it 154 Share Tweet Share
Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 52 076 You deserved it 5 260
Today, a customer at work pronounced the word "Asian" as "Ah-See-Awn" when ordering a salad. I wasn't allowed to say anything. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 215 You deserved it 4 299
Today, I got a missed call from my dad, who hasn't talked to me in months and has vowed not to have anything to do with me. I called him back excitedly and apologized for missing his call, and we had a 20-second conversation about how his phone accidentally dialed my number. FML I agree, your life sucks 67 178 You deserved it 3 558
Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML I agree, your life sucks 53 657 You deserved it 5 479
Today, it's Saint Patrick's Day and the nicest day of the year so far. I'm spending it in the bathroom, puking up the sushi I'd eaten last night. The luck of the Irish can't help me on this one. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 033 You deserved it 5 248
Today, my son asked his mom about sex, so she talked about love, marriage, God, affection and all that bollocks, missing the point that he wanted to know about having good sex since he has a girlfriend now, so I explained all the wet, squishy practical bits of sex. Now my wife is mad at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 574 You deserved it 1 266
Run Forest...Run!